So I’ve got this best friend and we’re both guys and we’ve always had a kind of joking casual humor between us. Sometimes we’d throw playful insults or make light jokes but it’s always been harmless. Recently though things feel like they’ve shifted. He’s started doing stuff that’s way more physical like randomly smacking my ass out of nowhere and making comments that feel a lot more like flirting than joking around. It’s throwing me off because we’ve never had this kind of “sus” humor before. I can’t tell if he’s just messing around or if he’s actually being serious and I’m not sure how to even approach it. Part of me wants to just ask him outright what’s going on but I’m worried that bringing it up might make things weird or backfire completely.
Has anyone else ever dealt with a situation like this with a close friend and should I talk to him about it or just let it play out and see where it goes?
Comments
Randomly smacking someone’s ass can count as sexual assault. Tell him very firmly to avoid doing that if that is something you are even a little uncomfortable with.
I don’t think I am emotionally mature enough to comment on this but I feel like you should ask him whatever questions you have. Communication is key I think.
I’m gay and 17 and I have had friendships like this. It can be very uncomfortable and disempowering. Hope you can clear things out.
I have a lot of male friend and we have this kind of humour and banter between us. It’s generally harmless humour, and believe me, we can say some very crude things to each other, but again it’s all a joke and a laugh. However if this makes you feel uncomfortable then yes, by all means set a boundary that you’re not ok with this.
One “bro cut that shit out” with a straight face aught to be enough for him to stop, whether he’s romantically interested or just hetero bantering
If he doesn’t cut it out, he’s not your best friend
I mean, does he turn you on?
A lot of people are talking about how OP should go about shutting this down, but considering they said they’re considering “seeing where things go”, I’m not sure that’s what OP is asking for.
Honestly, I’d just do whatever you want to do. If you’re interested, flirt back and spend time alone with them. If you’re not? Show you’re not interested, don’t engage as much with their flirty banter.
I’m so curious how it feels to you when he does this. Is any part of you…intrigued? Excited?
https://xkcd.com/65/
If you’re uncomfortable with this, then you have to tell him no. But if you’re curious then both of you should communicate.
Be direct. We are just friends. Stop touching me in that way . Etc etc
Say “are you gay?”