Together for 2 years. She confessed to cheating. I left her apartment. (Dont live together, thank God).
Over a few hours she texted me to talk, and that she was sorry. Only reply from me was for her to drop dead, and I no longer care for her. She could die tomorrow and I wouldn’t care. I blocked her after.
Friend are saying my bluntness was cruel, and sister questions if I cared for her in the first place.
Curious of outside opinions. I loved her, but I won’t hesitate to stop caring about someone over massive malignance.
Comments
Lmao, ‘sister questions if I ever cared for her’…..and letting another guy stick his d*ck in her suggests your ex is a wonderful loyal woman?
I think that just silence would be a little bit better, but I understand the bitterness. You did right by leaving her and blocking.
I do think that clarifying to your sister that your willingness to leave after being cheated on does not entail that you didn’t care in the first place is a good idea, if only to preserve the relationship between you two.
I’ve been cheated on too. Twice. Both with people I thought would be my forever. Trust me I’ve been dragged thru absolute hell.
Bro, dont tell someone to die. If she does go and dies now, you’re gonna be changed. I get the hurt and rampage. Turn it into a passion and leave her in the dust. You know she’s worthless to you now, that’s enough.
Everyone dealing with betrayal in different ways your angry and younhave every right to be. Maybe that’s what she wants she wants to humble you or for you to humiliated. I personally would gray stone her no emotion forget that she existed and move on.
Nah ur good op, she’s an ex now.
Nothing you say can be anywhere near as cruel as what she did. Tell everyone criticizing you to make sure they also call her and tell her how cruel she is . If they won’t, ignore what they have to say to you.
You are 100
Percent point on other than wishing death on them. You can still hate them tell them that
And block them but not wishing them dead.
Fair enough. Probably shouldn’t have said that, but the sentiment is completely rational.
Everyone handles these things differently. I’ve never been cheated on that I know of but I’ve known people that have been cheaters and I definitely feel a certain way about them.
Like you, I would show a cheater no quarter. They made a choice to cheat when they could have chosen not to. That tells me everything I would ever need to know about them.
I’m probably not going nuclear and wishing they’d drop dead. They’re the ones that get to live with the consequences of their actions. I’m just going to walk away.
I also try and remember that silence is a response, and sometimes it’s the loudest one we can send.
Listen up… sometimes you gotta make brutal choices to protect yourself, and NTA.
Just a little story
If you know who Buddy Holly was and Waylon Jennings was . Right before Buddy Holly died in a plane crash Waylon who was a member of his band joked with Buddy when buddy told him
To enjoy the bus with no heat. He said I hope your plane crashes. Well it crashed Buddy died and Waylon never forgave himself for saying that
You’re supposed to support her on her journey of finding herself. If she got pregnant it would have been on you to support the child/s
I feel like that’s a reasonable reaction.
Hey OP.
Sorry this is happening. On the plus side, this is exactly how you deal with a cheater, man or woman. Its rare people do that. And its not being blunt, its expressing your emotions and your decision on the matter in a clear and defined way. Thats not blunt, thats truth.
Its got nothing to do with caring. She hurt you, your made a decision the consequence will be this. Your anger has allowed you to go from love to contempt just like that. You didnt spend time debating the outcome, you knew how you felt, you knew what your actions would be and you did that, very efficiently.
This is how breakups for infidelity should go if your not married. Drop em like a hot cake, and block them.
I will never understand the people who expect the cheated on person to show compassion or anything other than hatred. They should mind their fucking businessm You do you OP. Your feelings are valid. May I suggest fucking one of her friends and sending her pics?!
That’s how it’s done brother. Not an asshole at all.
NTA betrayal hits hard and it broke your love. Some people will be wishy washy but others when they are done they are done
So…your cheating gf is the victim, but you being upset and ending things makes YOU the bad guy…okay ya sure…
NTA Op
Probably a bit over the top, but at least you aren’t sending mixed messages.
NTA. They were words in justifiable anger. I gotta say that when I found my ex-wife out and we divorced I thought and will still to this day believe that her dying would have been less painful. So I get the sentiment.
Sorry you’re going through this. Block sis too.
NTA – Chalk this up to experience and move forward. Wish you the best!
“Friend are saying my bluntness was cruel, and sister questions if I cared for her in the first place.”
Yeah no – what was cruel was cheating on you, and betraying your trust…..sister can fuck off, nobody cares for a cheating ass.
NTA
NTA. Ignore the screeching magpies; they are of no importance. Cheating is a firm boundary and your ex crossed it. In your situation, I’d go scorched earth, too.
Thank God, you are not married and have no children together. Protect your peace. Hope you find a loyal woman soon. That’s what you deserve.
You were treated poorly. You responded appropriately. I do not see an issue
NTA – your feelings may fluctuate as you process her betrayal but your response is perfectly fine. Keep your chin up and wishing you the best as you move past this.
NTA OP. Stick to your guns. She may learn the lesson but probably not. Your being a man. Oddly enough this will make you insanely attractive for her. Women are not used to men saying no and calling them out on their shit behavior. Find a woman who cares about you and is faithful.
You were very emotional. We all would be. The mistake was not the message but the wording. Since her actions deserved little in the way of politeness, let’s just consider it a spelling error and move on. She’s not worth it!
NTA.
No dude you have self respect. No matter how much you love her. Does not matter.
She cheated , disrespected you , broke you trust and loyalty . You did the right thing.
How dare people question you and your actions. Her sister and friends need to be questioning HER 100%
How stupid can her sister be really ? She will cheat again on you and any other guy she dates.
Continue Ghost Protocol.
REDLINE for more relationships than not, NTA your reaction is perfect, in fact anything less might be a lesson she didn’t learn. F you and die is hard to fool herself into thinking that what she did wasn’t that bad.
I’m guessing sis has never been betrayed, I dont think you’re being cruel. Like will be met with like
Better just to ghost her but your response ok
Exactly how you should handle it. Nta
Good for you. She’s for the streets bro
I think you phrased “you’re dead to me” a little too sharply but that was the actual intent of the message. ‘She might as well drop dead tomorrow because you don’t care, she’s already dead to you…’
I don’t want to blame feminism for your sister’s shitty attitude either. Feminism is accountability for women as much as men; being equal doesn’t forgive cheating ffs, that’s just delusional
NTA. You cared for who she was, not who she is.
You did the best, just leave and ghost her.
You handled it perfectly well, my friend. Your ex had no respect for you, hurt you and treated you like trash but you have to be “nice” to her. To hell with people who think that way.
She never cared for you if she was getting plowed by someone else
NTA
Stop listening to others.
You did your thing. Now work to move on.
You’re hurt and lashing out……everyone should be more understanding of why you said what you said. Just move on with your life.
Well played …well played.. you did what you needed to.. fuck them or anyone else who try to give you crap for protecting yourself.. next time people try to gas light you ask them if the energy would be the same if the rolls were switched… the answer would be no.. its an accountability issue.
Nope, you can care about her, but she doesn’t need to know. She cheated, so she deserved to be told that. Cheaters deserve no sympathy. She needed to be told exactly what you said. She FAFO
Nope, did the right thing. Woulda done the same. “Did you ever care for her?”. How about did she ever care for you? Fuck this no accountability bullshit, she fucked up let her deal with the consequences on her own. Don’t let anyone guilt you into being some loser who hangs around her like some pathetic cuck. You have no kids, you have no bills together, good fucking riddance.
You handled it like a boss! Be proud of yourself man 👏👏👏
Stay strong she belongs to the streets now
I mean it’s aggressive. But I subscribe to.
Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.
Wishing death is over the top, but I mean she just cheated is she expecting you to be nice?
NTA
What she did was far more cruel than your reaction.
NTA well done OP
That why women don’t confess, because u men can’t get over it. But if the man cheat you want the woman to be understanding and give him a pass ..
NTA, her actions were cruel to you, you simply replied in kind.
Cheating is horrible and it’s good you cut her out of your life. Maybe you should get checked for your health and the only time you should contact her again is to send her the bill.
It’s very strange that everyone else is saying you were cruel when she by cheating did an attack on your mental and possibly physical health.
Yes, you are correct. She will do it again
NTA. Cheating is a totally valid reason to leave a relationship. You loved her and cared for her and now those feelings are dead. Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t change the situation. She made a choice to be with someone else. The question is whether your ex really cared for you!
Your BLUNTNESS was cruel?? Not as cruel as her ever spreading legs.
NTA. Literally FAFO.
Were the situation reversed, she would be getting “Yasssss Queen!” Accolades.
NTA.
So let me explain.
Push pull leg.
Monday – chest, shoulders and triceps.
Tuesday – back and biceps.
Wednesday- legs.
Don’t forget cardio and stomach champ.
Nta. You did the right thing. She is nobody to you
I’M STILL STANDING, BETTER THAN I EVER DID
Ahem. You’re good brother. Nothing wrong with cutting out necrotic things, you know?
I personally don’t wish death on a lot of people and would have gone with your trash and never contact me again, BUT fuck your ex. You don’t owe her shit.
But what do others have to say?? I hate this, “you were cruel, did you really like her?” Why don’t you ask her these statements/questions?? Whoever tells you that is stupid.
Cheaters are scum. They don’t deserve any other consideration or compassion. Only those who also have cheated or will would say the things her friends and your sister are saying
NTA. My first husband slept with my best friend. I forgave him and he went on to sleep with my sister. I wish I had done what you did the first time. I would have saved myself a bunch of heartache and custody and divorce battles.
You said what u felt like saying and are moving on, you did nothing wrong, NTA.
Account created today… No throwaway… obvious nta…
These validation bait posts are getting real old.
NTA – You should ask her sister if your girlfriend cared for you in the first place.
I don’t think you can genuinely just stop caring for someone that easily, I think you’re doing it to hide your actual feelings you’re dealing with. Whatever helps you get through it.
Nope, perfectly fine response. Trim the fat from your life, it will be better.
Updateme!
Naw you’re good to go. NTA
tell frenemies and anyone else not invloved, why are you required to be polite after being betrayed. if its ok she betrayed me then im done with you too.
If you don’t live together, you don’t have kids – there is no reason for you to stay in touch. You are done and you have evey right to be.
Tell your friends and sister to talk to you about how cruel you are after their partner cheats on them. And until then they should shut the hell up.
I have been cheeted on and it hurts like hell. Not only does it hurt, it ruins you ability to trust people and it is humiliating.
It is more than just sex, it hurts on so many levels.
So, you are not the cruel one here. She is and if your friends and sister don’t back you up 100% they are cruel as well.
NTA
Friends are saying your bitterness is cruel, but ignoring her cheating? Garbage
I’m a long way from being the perfect husband, but I am not a cheater and I have no tolerance for it whatsoever. Since the beginning, I have told my wife that cheating is a deal breaker and there’s no exceptions. I also don’t expect her to put up with it either, life’s too short for that shit, and some random piece of ass is not worth it. I think you are justified and NTA
NTA, Cheating is the only thing that will cause me to instantaneously decide you’re dead to me. You did the right thing for your peace.
Sir – she broke the single most important trust against you. Who cares how she feels or how she reacts to your words…
I mean, “drop dead” is a bit much.
But she cheated so
You’ve done both of yourselves a favor by being so blunt.
NTA
Cheaters always try to make their exes look cruel and harsh. She deserves to be canceled.
She is only sorry she got caught and needs to settle her negative emotions she feels. Drop her, she made the ultimate disrespect and can lie to you in your face at any point. She is a low quality POS.
The pain in the moment will make you lash out. You did the right thing by moving on, but saying nothing is better than anything right now.
FTB
Oh , you were a gentleman in my eyes about it. I will always imagine a world where cheaters get publicly shamed and treated like the trash they are. But yeah , great job OP. I loved your authenticity 😊
Heck yeah dude! Why put yourself through any more trauma? You did well and made all men proud! 💪
I was cheated on – although I would have never said something as harsh, I fully understand why you said it. I definitely wanted to also hurt the ones who cheated on me, but I couldn’t and I knew it wouldn’t work, so I kept it to myself. I can fully understand….
NTA I fail to see why you should have showed her respect after what she did.
She’s not sorry. She cheated. She knew what she was doing. Blunt is best.
UpdateMe
> sister questions if I cared for her in the first place.
I think your reaction should be enough to answer that question.
If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have said the things you did. Sister has probably cheated on someone, or is good friends with someone who has cheated.
People think the opposite of love is hate, that’s not true. The opposite of love is apathy. The opposite of hate is apathy. Love and hate are VERY strong feelings. Apathy is the absence of feeling.
Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.
Who has the audacity to question your decision? She hurt you. She betrayed you. My history teacher in highschool told me that the word “sorry” is just an excuse so you don’t take accountability for your actions. I’m sorry, means nothing. She knew what she was doing and she did it. It’s that simple.
Just to be clear, if she does end up doing anything to herself, in some places you can now be held criminally liable due to what you said. You have every right to block and leave, ghost, whatever for your peace. But id be extremely careful not to incriminate yourself in the process. “Drop dead” can become criminal. “You’re dead to me” is not criminal.
Just some life advice. You obviously care. The opposite of love is indifference, it’s not hatred.
Being hurt and angry is fair after a betrayal, but own those feelings so you can move on. Don’t get stuck on anger.
It pretty normal to feel nothing for that person once they’ve betrayed your trust. NTA
Perhaps sister is a cheater and feeling like cheaters should be forgiven. Either way it none of her business if she likes your ex so much she single now so she can date her should be your response. She’s all yours sis!
Once a cheater… Always a cheater.
That saying,”It’s a thin line between love and hate” is very real!!!
NTA
NTA. Op was direct, clear, concise, and left no question where they stand today or tomorrow. He needn’t sugarcoat his feelings. She did the same by cheating. In my Scorpio mind, there’s no coming back from betrayal. Adios and farewell.
NTA. You absolutely handled it correctly. You said what you needed to say. Ghost her.
Firstly, good for you for leaving. Zero tolerance for cheating. I have a hard time believing that you can just instantly stop caring for someone you loved though. I get it…youre upset and you want to move on. But if you can immediately turn off your feelings for her, I wonder if you ever actually loved her. Sounds kinda impossible but maybe you’re built differently.
You did the right thing. Forget her and move on
Ex means gone. NTA. She is a cheater
“Questions if I cared for her in the first place”
Your intense reaction proves
you had immense love for her, imo.
If you didn’t you’d be acting nonchalant about it all.
Obliviously that’s not going to be the case for everyone,
But I do believe that’s the case here.
NTA, hun. When my girl got mad at her teacher for no reason, I told her she wasn’t the villain but jeez, you sure went… far. I mean, death? Yikes! But hey, everyone deals in their own way. You’ve every right to be furious, and blocking’s good. Just… maybe skip the wishing-death part?
This is the way.
That’s the only way!
NTA, she cheated and u dumbed her it’s over now she’s not your problem anymore
TBH, bluntness in the face of such a betrayal is understandable. And frankly, stating that you no longer care for her is actually more like a declaration that you refuse to allow whatever lingering feelings you might have to influence your decisions. This is your hard line, your dealbreaker and you have every right to choose not to listen to excuses and rationalizations. Cheaters aren’t owed a soft approach. And they certainly aren’t owed an opportunity to try and shift the blame. Whatever her rationalization is, she chose to cheat instead of dealing with whatever led to her willingness to cheat.
Your sister is an ass. I have a brother who was cheated on. I have nothing but contempt for his ex-wife. The only reason any of us tolerate her is that she’s the mother of our niece and nephew. Fortunately, we rarely see her.
Not the asshole. Someone cheating on you is an extremely painful injury they inflicted upon you.
Walk away and never look back.
Could you move in silence and be a more “civil” person? Sure. BUT it also sounds like she thinks an apology will get her out of the dog house. And if you forgave her who is to say she won’t do it again since you forgave so easily? NTA
Hahahaha how dare you pull a goodbye and fuck you just like they do! The nerveeeee /s
You’re supposed to cry and beg, and take her back and kneel and kiss her feet for letting you be in her presence!
Men these days am I right?
/S
Good job bro, cheater diapers get dumped.
She didn’t care about you when she cheated so you shouldn’t care how your reaction affected her.
NTA
Ghost, block and go no contact so she can’t try to manipulate you any further.
I’d do the same.
NTA. Perfectly justified.
It was her choice, not yours
I think the movies give us this false sense of what closure looks like. She wants to talk to you to get her to see her side for her closure. She fucked around and found out and that’s your closure.
Just because she’s sorry, doesn’t mean she’s owed forgiveness. Just because you loved her, doesn’t mean it’s endless. So what if your bluntness was cruel? betrayal doesn’t get rewarded with kindness you saying something cruel momentarily doesn’t change the fact that you are a good person if you are. Once your anger subsides, you will feel a range of emotions. But usually someone dealing with betrayal feels anger, and then hurt. So the way you’re behaving is not unreasonable. It just might not be what the movies portrayed to be. Losing someone through betrayal, gives you a lot of grief and that’s not linear. You’ll experience a lot of stuff when you’re coming to terms with everything. Also good for you for having some self-respect and ending the relationship immediately when you were betrayed.
NTA
First off NTA, if you were non violent, direct and to the point you can deal with this however you want. But….
I’m kinda with your sister here. This kind of complete and total disconnect from your past feelings is incredibly hard for most people. Usually at first it involves heavy doses of lying to yourself. Were you already on the rocks with her / suspected something was going on? I feel like there’s info being left out
You can love a womam, but dont fall in love with a woman. If you fall in love, she’s got you by the balls.
Yeah you’re insane dude. Drop dead. I wouldn’t care at all.
This is a level of dehumanization you cannot accept from yourself.
It would be perfectly fine to tell her please never talk to me again. To not care whatsoever if someone dies because they wronged you is a level of pettiness and evil no one should ever welcome into their being.
Esh
Cheat= trust broken forever. You can NOT gain it back. End of.
No trust = no relationship.
But at least you two can be 100% honest with each other lol.
NTA
Generally, it’s best to discontinue all communication with cheating exes.
As for your sister, let her know that it’s called compartmentalising fallout to move forward.
>sister questions if I cared for her in the first place
why do they always jump to this? it’s so cringe. well I mean, I know why – it’s because it would make the cheating more acceptable. they’re looking for a reason to make her cheating understandable. it’s so pathetic honestly.
like no, your sister is just a cheating ho. deal with it.
Love it, well done sir! She can play that shit with somebody else now haha (consequences).
She chose to be honest. She made a mistake and told you. I’m not saying she deserves praise for being honest about cheating, but she definitely doesn’t deserve to be verbally abused for it. YTA.
I think you were educated……… now it’s an ex and life goes on
She assumed you were going to be ok with the cheating because you loved her so much.
She was wrong. FAFO.
getting told that (put any verbal reaction here) is cruel after you got cheated on is a new low. You felt its appropriate and that should be it.
Updateme
NTAH-it’s good to burn bridges like that. When I caught my ex cheating I told my friends and family. She said I shouldn’t have done that, as it would make reconciliation impossible. I told her that was the fucking point.
The intensity of your love for her will give an equal and opposite emotional reaction when things fall apart. It’s yin/yang bruh. ☯️
What’s there to talk about?
Consider just being indifferent.
Nah you are good.
Had a girl cheat on me, left me for the guy. I was spineless at the time and sent her a long as email professing my love. She didn’t respond. A week later I deleted her from my life and moved on. She started contacting me months later, I barely replied. One word answers, didn’t have her contact info anymore, she got all upset when I replied with “who’s this?” Lol. Got a long ass email from her a year later “you were the best, treated me like a princess, I love you, I miss you”. I never responded. Was the best feeling ever.
Those are real feelings and sentiments after being a victim of infidelity, when you truly care/love someone. It’s like a stab to the heart after that time together. They killed the relationship/trust, so it is not proof you never cared. It’s proof you did and she didn’t.
You’re angry, she had the blunt coming. Sad situation all around. Doesn’t make you an asshole, just normal.
NTA, friends can go support their cheating partners when that happens. Sister is 100% a cheater and feels that if she was left after complaning, they must not have loved her (so she feels it’s ok to cheat)
As you should. Never speak to her again. Good job. Too many people stick around for cheating when they should be out on the first thing smoking.
Meh, they have a point about the bluntness but you have a right to be angry. Personally I would have gone with “it’s over, don’t contact me again” and then blocked her everywhere. No reason to let her see you have any reaction. Still NTA though.
NTA. I would respond the same way. Onwards and upwards. At least you made it clear where she stands.
NTA. You reacted perfectly. Erase all of it and move on.
Are you 12 bro ?
Tell her sister that she obviously never fully cared for you.
She chose to cheat on you! You chose to cut contact with her!
👑
Nah you’re fine. Don’t listen to anyone. You did the right thing. She’s garbage…
Sister questions if you cared for her in the first place….wonder if she questions if the cheater cared?
Blunt? For sure. Warranted? Absolutely.
She broke your trust, once thats gone you’re never getting it back. You can easily have cared for someone you trusted but she went against that, so of course everything goes out the window. Good for you for sticking to your values and getting out of that situation.
NTA. Best of luck moving forward.
You’re allowed to feel however you feel.
Best thing for you to do is drop the dead weight (her, figuratively speaking.)
You did the right thing, her sister and friends arent even considering you they are just favoring her and trying to somehow make her the victim in this. Its crazy, nobody has your best interest but you. Let them chirp about how you’re the bad guy and she doesnt have to have any accountability, theres no way they can even think about this instance and not know who is actually at fault. The sister pisses me off, trying to manipulate you like a selfish slimeball to make her sister feel like her horrible actions are normal. Dont believe all women!
NTA. This is a reactionary response, and you may soften up your stance as you heal.
Do you. Fuck what the rest say. Not their problem.
NAH she cheated and your reaction is perfect in my opinion. Any friends saying you are wrong for leaving a cheater isn’t really your friend. Stay strong and better luck with the net one !
I will never understand why ppl get so bent out of shape over cheating. There are so many worse things.
Fuck that, you’re good. Betrayal like that deserves 0 sympathy for anything. NTA
You weren’t cruel, you set a boundary after betrayal. Sometimes telling someone they’re dead to you is the only way to protect yourself when trust is shattered.
Nah you cared when she was a gf. Not a cheating ex gf. She doesn’t deserve your care and tell her to get consoled by the person she cheated with.
Ur friends are pussies thats why
You’re allowed to hate and wish ill on whoever you want, as long as it causes no real harm.
They wonder if YOU ever loved her at all??? What in God’s name is going on with people today?? Why are cheaters being defended at all? She cheated. I’m sure that if YOU cheated and SHE told you to drop dead, there would be a tsunami of support for her. I’m sure you said what you said out of hurt and anger. That’s normal. Forget her. And your friends and sister will get over it. And if they don’t, that’s their problem.