Things aren’t going great in our relationship, I feel like he’s not romantic anymore, not like he used to be at the start. I give everything, and he gives nothing. I’ve been asking for three months if he could give me a little massage (even just 10 minutes), and Mister “Busy” has never found the time.
Aside from that, there’s zero attention from him. I don’t feel special, I feel like just his roommate. No initiative, no romance, nothing.
We had a fight over the phone, and I told him just how desperate I’ve become: that I’ve already taken the initiative (several times) to go down on him hoping I’d get a small romantic gesture in return.
He answered that “only prostitutes do that,” then added, “do you do the same with other guys? Do you suck them off to get something too?”
Now I feel dirty, misunderstood, humiliated, and alone… I need your opinions, please.
Comments
His reaction not only is unjustified, it is cruel and dehumanizing.
In short, this individual is immature, self-centered, and from your description, does not care about your thoughts or feelings.
It sounds to me like he is not remotely ready for a relationship, with you or anybody else.
My daughter (mid-20s) and I talk about relationships all the time, and I always tell her to never, ever ignore her instincts, her intuition, or her own judgment.
This is not about sex. This is about your integrity and your right to feel loved and respected… indeed, to be treated as a human being.
Please let me know if that makes sense to you. Thank you.
You were being vulnerable, and instead of hearing your pain, he attacked you. That’s not okay. It’s not about the act it’s about how alone and unappreciated you feel. You deserve care, not shame.
His reaction wasn’t fair or respectful. You deserved understanding, not shame. You deserve kindness and care in your relationship. Your feelings matter
You need to Kick His Ass and sending him away…He don’t respect you, doesn’t values and seems not caring about you either.
Plus…He give him blowjobs ( something awesome by The way ) and he treats you badly? WTF
You can get better then that
He is a Red Pill incel. RUN! He did you a favor by showing is true self. Believe him.
You sound like an empathetic person. You can do sooo much better. Trust me I have been there. NOONE should have to ASK for attention from their SO
Bye Felicia. Once he asked if you do this for other guys, he’s telling you that you need to go. He thinks you’re a whore and doesn’t value you.
If you think he will go back to the sweet caring person he was in the beginning, I can assure you he will not.
With the way he is treating you and his reaction to you telling him how you feel, leave! Now. But be aware he might become good again to keep you tied and not leave. That’s more reason that you SHOULD leave.
If only prostitutes do that and he gives nothing in return… he basically sees you as a prostitute? Or am I missing something.
This relationship has dried out, leave, heal, work on yourself, explore, travel and find better. No need in this short life to suffer in a bad situation which can be changed.
If you had a daughter or a friend and their boyfriend said this to them, what would you want them to do about it?
Dump him, NOW. You deserve better. He is the wrong one. Stop questioning yourself. Stop trying g to make reasons out if the unreasonable. Bounce out of this, lady.
There’s a song I would love to share with you right now. Please go listen to Intuition by Shanin Blake.
What is keeping you in the relationship at this point?
Why are you with someone who has ZERO concern for your feelings and needs. This is a man who wants a freezer not a woman, it’s time to determine if this is the person and/or way you want to live.
My opinion as a dude is your bf is out of line and deserves to be an ex boyfriend.
He is wrong of seeing your bids for affection as similar to monetary transactions.
Everyone desires affection and care from time to time. If your partner cannot or will not give you affection, then he isn’t really your partner anymore.
Your feelings of safety and care aren’t a priority to him. And in relationships it’s okay if that’s not even the highest priority since jobs and self care are important for livelihood, BUT the bottom line is it needs to be a priority. Even if it can’t always be what’s first. And your boyfriend has simply failed as a partner to prioritize that, or try prioritizing that.
Do not feel dirty, you aren’t. I’ve given head to my ex before even when I really didn’t want to do it, because I wanted her to be happy, and I cared about her feeling relaxed and desired. Sometimes we do things for the people we prioritize when we don’t want to especially when we’re trying to solve a problem in the relationship. That’s normal.
But it has t worked. He doesn’t try. He doesn’t want to fix things.
Leave.
just let go babe its not worth it
You should never go that low to get attention from someone you love, but I absolutely understand the idea behind it. This isn’t about his reaction, but your own self respect. Do not do that. Do it for a guy when you want to because you want to make him feel good. Do it because it makes you happy to give a part of yourself to him. That’s it. When two people do this, everyone wins.
It sounds like he is not putting any effort forth in the relationship. This does happen from time to time, but it can not last forever. Effort is what you get from someone who wants to see YOU happy. It has nothing to do with what they get out of you. They do it because they think you deserve it. It is not a trade. They do it because they know they already get so much from you and they want you to know that you matter. It’s really what acts of love are all about. Without this, a relationship dies. It cannot be one-sided. Three months is ridiculous.
He is not understanding your perspective here. This is a lack of empathy on his part. He can feel angry in his mind because I see where he is coming from. I would feel disgusted if my partner did that for any other reason that desire. Him attacking you is uncalled for. You are essentially offering to pay him for his love and he’s only focused on how he feels. This is desperation and he cannot see it. He cannot empathize with you and he either needs to fix this immediately or you two should part ways. Once effort is gone, empathy is gone… Love is gone. People who cannot empathize or invest in their partner are incapable of loving them.
This is either who he is or who he has become. If there’s something happening in your relationship to cause this, then take care of it immediately. Otherwise, I would leave. There’s nothing left for you there.
If you feel like a roommate it’s time to move on! You heard him, he’s comparing you to a prostitute! This would be the moment for me to move out!
You need to walk away and start over with someone else
Girl, he is pulling back on effort cause he knows you’re desperate, your self esteem is in the gutter and he said those horrible things to you because you pointed at his flaws, which shows you how absurdly selfish this person is.
I hope one day you have the courage to leave because this 100% is the guy who will not even visit you in hospital the day you get sick. He has become a minimum effort man, and the more he pulls away the more you compensate by trying to be nice.
But why are you letting it, start to treat yourself better. Match his energy
He just showed your that he doesn’t care for your at all and has absolutly no respect for you.
You will never have a good relationship with a person like that.
Nothing reddut says will change him.
Nobody deserve to be treated this way…A prostitute wtf just dump him… He’s probably an asshole thinking you couldn’t survive without him…An asshole man…bc Chordo us bhnklode ko apne ap ko emran hasmi smhra hai chutiya..
Worse thing is that he didnt even apologize, he thinks I’m overreacting 😞