I told my best friend that she is turning into her abusive mom

Hi. I (17F) have been feeling so guilty for saying this and I truly feel like a giant idiot. This story is a little everywhere, so feel free to ask if something doesn’t make sense. Thanks.

Last saturday, her mom held her 60th birthday and bff (17F) invited me, but said that we weren’t going to be part of the party (which was a lie). Bff has 3 older siblings. N (35M), R (32M) and L (30F). The mom has clear favorites, and because of that, R and bff often get mistreated or even left out of family events.

An example would be a lake house, N had rented. He invited everyone except bff, and R could only attend, because he himself rented a room in another lake house close by. It’s honestly really bad.

The mom also hits bff, and she has done that bff’s whole life, she has slapped, pushed and even threatened bff with numerous objects. The mom also priorities her relationships over bff.

An example of that would be a stepdad that was part of bff’s life from age 11 to 14. He would openly ask for foot massages, touch her, walk into her bedroom or the bathroom while she was there, watch her, make her cook dinner because that is something a “cute girl” does and much more. Bff told her mom this and she took stepdad’s side. Then after having spent new years eve together, he broke up with her after they had sex, because he “hated” bff. Her mom still blames her for this break up.

The whole party was a mess, N and L gifted the mom a trip to Rome and openly said that R unfortunately can’t attend, because he doesn’t have the money. The siblings ended up fighting and I hid in the bathroom.

After the party was over, bff and I stayed in the rented house and drank some alcohol. After we had drank a lot, bff and I started talking about the family dynamic. To make it as short as possible, bff started defending her mom and said that she understood her actions and even that she herself would hit her children to make them behave. After she said that, something inside me snapped and I said that she’s turning into her abusive mom with those comments. She was quiet for a moment and started crying. I realized that I had fucked up and hugged her, but for some reason I didn’t apologize (still haven’t). I still feel guilty about this.