I used to think I was just good at telling stories—darkly funny, well-paced, the kind you bring out at parties to make people laugh-until-they-pause. But lately, I’m starting to realize I’ve been narrating my trauma like a stand-up set. I’m not sure when honesty became performance, or if I ever really felt these things, or just learned to describe them in a way that felt safe enough to share.
Anyway. Hi.
Comments
I feel like maybe I do the same?? My therapist will ask me a question and instead of answering I tell a story. Maybe it’s a way to remove ourselves from it.
I’ll make jokes about being depressed and my friends are always like “oh I’m sorry you’re not feeling well” like DO NOT PITY ME JUST LAUGH
I used to do this and basically trotted out my catastrophic medical events like a stand up set. I sat down one day and wrote one and two sentence answers to common party questions that moved the conversation along and avoided putting on a show.
There were a few months or more where I reviewed my answers before I went out to keep them top of mind and eventually I could go out in public and not rant for 30 minutes about the times I’ve almost died.