I used to be one of those people on the sidewalk who held up a sign asking for money. AMA

r/

I’m 31F, was homeless for six years (age 17-23) and thought this might be an interesting AMA because I know a lot of people hate beggars.

Comments

  1. WayneAlmighty Avatar

    How did it start? And how did you get out of that situation?

  2. Maronita2025 Avatar

    Why did you beg for money i.e. was it because of addiction to drug/alcohol, or what?

  3. Davicitorra Avatar

    What did the sign say?

  4. Tasty-Republic-582 Avatar

    What words or phrases worked best on signs or was it more location that helped? 

  5. lsarge442 Avatar

    What was a average day take?

  6. Single-Major2055 Avatar

    How many people are not homeless and ask for money to cover basic bills like rent? 

  7. EnvironmentalSinger1 Avatar

    How did the haters affect you or were you able to shrug it off?

  8. adventureontherocks Avatar

    How did you eventually make it through this phase in your life? What was it that finally allowed you to break free?

  9. TraditionAcademic968 Avatar

    How much would you make, and how long did it take?

  10. rachaelonreddit Avatar

    How well did it work?

  11. Parking-Car4557 Avatar

    Sorry you were dealt such a shitty hand. Nobody deserves that.

    How old is your child now? How are you doing?

  12. spikespiegell1 Avatar

    Did you try getting a job?

  13. Van1llatte Avatar

    Do you think a lot of people are still homeless because of addiction and they dont want help? I know in another comment you said you finally got sober and used the resources available to you to get housing and care. Why don’t all homeless people take advantage of the resources near them?

    Some people I know think that all homeless people are addicts and want to be homeless and I dont have any anecdotes from people who actually were homeless to disprove that.

  14. CyansolSirin Avatar

    How do you think that experience affected you?

  15. fernando3981 Avatar

    This is so wonderful and you’re clearly an incredibly motivated and compassionate mom. Did you sleep outside? In a shelter? Or did it vary? What kind of items/clothes did you have with you? How did you carry your belongings? What kinds of foods did you eat? What did you do and where did go in your off-hours? Where did you shower and how much did it cost?

  16. movingbackin Avatar

    Probably a boring question, but what did you call it? I’ve heard “flying a sign”, “spanging”, “panhandling”, depending on who I asked.

  17. GlassCharacter179 Avatar

    How long does a sign last? New one every day?

  18. Hamtaijin Avatar

    Did you ever try family friendly gimmicks such as singing, doing card tricks, doing a dance etc rather than just standing and staring?

  19. No_Independence8747 Avatar

    How much did you make a day?

  20. YamAffectionate2229 Avatar

    I don’t carry cash but I do always try to smile and say hello when folks do this outside grocery stores and such because I’m sure people treat you like absolute garbage. Sadly, since I started making this effort, I noticed I was getting followed to my car MUCH more frequently (which got scary after having a baby because of the time spent getting them buckled in and everything). I guess what I’m trying to ask is would it be preferable in your experience for someone to politely engage or to just keep walking? Also I’ve read through your answers and I’m really happy for you and wish you all the best for you and your daughter 🙂

  21. beezus_18 Avatar

    How often would people give you food as opposed to cash? If they gave you food, how’d you feel about that? Seems like you’re suggesting if you weren’t using you were using the money you received to buy food, and it’s something I often wonder about when I see people in this type of situation.

  22. BrevitysLazyCousin Avatar

    What was going on with your family that you ended up homeless as a teen?

  23. DueSignificance2628 Avatar

    Did anyone ever proposition you?

  24. wkknight Avatar

    How did u gotten pregnant ?

    Is that guy your husband now ?

  25. Lost_Helicopter2518 Avatar

    Do you still have mental issues right now from time to time?

    The reason why I asked this is because my mum had a really bad childhood. She wants to give me a good life but her bipolar disorder will override her, causing her to hit me physically or scream that she wants to die.

    I can tell she can’t help it but it is so traumatizing now that I am older. There are times where I want to remove her from my life, but she did help raise me. It is so conflicting.

  26. DKong75 Avatar

    I’ve always thought to myself “where are these people getting their sharpies from” obviously they were bought or it was given to you by someone. I guess my question would be, how long does a sharpie usually last for you?

  27. Adam_7893 Avatar

    Have you suffered from violence in the street? How was the relationship with other homeless people?

  28. Intelligent_Type6336 Avatar

    Do you find it easier now to not have stuff in your home or do you desire more stuff since you lived without for so long?

  29. Slider-208 Avatar

    Do you think giving actual cash to a person collecting on the street is just enabling their addiction and destructive lifestyle?

    I am generally reluctant to give any cash, it feels like I’m just giving them drugs and booze.

  30. spike123ab Avatar

    Seen in London a German guy (punk gear) sign help a punk get drunk – honest I thought had a chat took a picture and gave some cash

  31. rhymesayeth Avatar

    I just wanted to say thank you for bringing this post to reddit, as I have recently gotten out of homelessness after being homeless for 6 years in the Midwest. Addiction and trauma were definite factors as well as domestic violence which is what got me there in the first place. I definitely vibe with your statement in another comment that said people remain homeless because they feel like they are not worthy of being good or having good happen to them.
    A lot happens in 6 years but it all seems like such a short time when it’s the monotony of the same struggles and daily life that your brain tries to blur in order to cope with the fact that you’ve spent so long doing that. I’m so glad you and your little one made it out of the life. I’m only 4 months sober and can’t wait to see what life brings now instead of waking up under a bridge dreading the long day of hustling up a few bucks for a pint.

  32. Nervous-Ad-4071 Avatar

    Do you ever get nostalgic for that time, or any parts of that time in your life?

  33. beFairtoFutureSelf Avatar

    I volunteer with a rehab facility. What industry do you work in now? Did you ever have a criminal record? I’m thinking of directing some members to community college programs since the rehab facility offers a scholarship, but not sure if that would pay off/be a good option for them. Would this have been a good option for you or people you knew when you were getting back on your feet?

  34. PickledPepa Avatar

    How difficult was it to make eye contact with someone for them to bow their head and avert their eyes?

    I feel I do this a lot and it sucks, because I want to help, but usually cannot.

  35. LisanneFroonKrisK Avatar

    How much did you earn per day

  36. Humble-Lawfulness-12 Avatar

    What’s the most someone ever gave you?

  37. LancFF Avatar

    Where did you get the permanent marker to write the sign if you didn’t have cash to buy food?

  38. NoBoot8421 Avatar

    I am one of those people that hate beggers.

  39. Less_Elevator_9229 Avatar

    Can I borrow some money?

  40. Ready-Accountant-502 Avatar

    Did you make a lot of money as a sign holder?

  41. Bionic_Push Avatar

    how did you manage to get out of the streets? and how is your life now?

  42. diverdawg Avatar

    We have these folks at every intersection where I live. It’s almost as if they work in shifts.

    My theory is that there is a sort of pimp in charge of everyone. He works out the turf and schedules, takes all of the money and pays everyone, minus his cut. What say you?

  43. Socal-vegan Avatar

    How did you manage menstruation with use of or without products? I want to know how I can help others since I’ve seen young women just bleeding out on their turf.

  44. abrainEatingAmoeboid Avatar

    What’s the best way to help people in that situation?

  45. Feisty-Fold-3690 Avatar

    Yeah as a homeless person i woke up to a drunk lady throwing rocks at me last night. People are mean especially if you’re a male.

  46. hookha Avatar

    People don’t carry cash anymore. That’s got to be a problem for panhandling, right?

  47. ghost1667 Avatar

    were you part of the gutter punk/traveling kid community?

  48. junker37 Avatar

    This is an honest question; what do you think the government could do to help the homeless situation? Particularly in cases similar to yours that involve addiction?

  49. GovernmentCharming81 Avatar

    How many people are out there pulling a scam or don’t want money to “get food”? I want to make sure my money goes to someone who actually needs or wants progressive help

  50. ama_compiler_bot Avatar

    Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked – Please upvote the original questions and answers. (I’m a bot.)


    Question Answer Link
    What words or phrases worked best on signs or was it more location that helped? My favorite sign I’ve ever flown (as a skinny, malnourished, 18 year old girl) was “Training to be a sumo wrestler. Need help getting fat.” I came up with it on my own and I was quite proud of it. Another sign I liked to fly was “I love leftovers” while sitting near a restaurant. I had a lot of success in general flying signs because I was a pretty, innocent-looking young girl. I have also had people spit at me, cuss at me, and throw things at me though so….lol I think the most successful sign though is one that is written clearly and boldly, and people respond the best to funny signs. When I was deep in my addiction though, I once wrote a sign that said “struggling a little. anything helps.” I think a lot of people connected with that sign because I got a lot of help that day. That was shortly before I got sober for good. Here
    This is so wonderful and you’re clearly an incredibly motivated and compassionate mom. Did you sleep outside? In a shelter? Or did it vary? What kind of items/clothes did you have with you? How did you carry your belongings? What kinds of foods did you eat? What did you do and where did go in your off-hours? Where did you shower and how much did it cost? I never slept in a shelter because I always heard horror stories about sexual assault, harassments from other homeless people, bedbugs, body lice, etc. It’s pretty well known in the homeless community that shelters are not ideal. I slept outside on the ground, I would take cardboard from recycling bins and use it as a mattress. When I was sober I had a backpack with a pair of shorts, underwear, a jacket, a thin towel, socks, etc. When I was on drugs I pretty much walked around with nothing. When I was sober I would eat leftovers or I would buy foods from the grocery store like cliff bars and a banana and yogurt or a pre made sandwich. When I was on drugs I would steal Snickers from CVS or Walgreens or I would eat out of dumpsters (but mostly I would just starve.) When I was sober I worked or hitchhiked and when I was on drugs I spent all day trying to find/make money and trying to find drugs. I showered at local college campus lockers rooms, gyms, campgrounds or public restrooms. I think the most I ever paid for a shower was like $27 for a day use pass from a gym. Here
    How did it start? And how did you get out of that situation? I was the victim of a crime when I was 15 which caused me to start turning to drugs and then I got emancipated from a bad home life when I was 17. But I couldn’t support myself so I ended up homeless and on hard drugs. I tried getting sober on my own numerous times by hitchhiking around and being in a new place every week so I couldn’t make connections. I flew signs before I figured out that I could work on farms to make money which I started doing as soon as I figured it out. I got out of the situation when I got pregnant and realized I finally had a reason to live (needed to provide my child with a good life) so I got sober and I’ve been sober ever since. Have a nice apartment now and a good job and life is good. Here
    Sorry you were dealt such a shitty hand. Nobody deserves that. How old is your child now? How are you doing? She’s 7 and she’s soooooo cool. We are doing great now. My life is really boring and normal now, it’s almost as if none of the bad stuff ever happened. I like talking about it because it’s like validation that this period of my life did actually happen and I’m not just crazy for thinking about it sometimes. Here
    I don’t carry cash but I do always try to smile and say hello when folks do this outside grocery stores and such because I’m sure people treat you like absolute garbage. Sadly, since I started making this effort, I noticed I was getting followed to my car MUCH more frequently (which got scary after having a baby because of the time spent getting them buckled in and everything). I guess what I’m trying to ask is would it be preferable in your experience for someone to politely engage or to just keep walking? Also I’ve read through your answers and I’m really happy for you and wish you all the best for you and your daughter 🙂 If I have cash on me, I always give people money or if I don’t have cash I will buy them food with my card. That is just for me personally, because I feel I have a duty to pay forward all the help that I was given. Also, you never know when the help you give might be the difference between that person making it to their appointment to see their case manager to get housing or not. For the average person though, I would say the kind thing to do is smile and say hello to remind the person that they are still human. However, if you find that doing this puts your safety at risk, it is perfectly fine to just walk past and keep moving. You aren’t obligated to help anyone or do anything and you don’t need to feel guilty for just living your life. Find a comfortable way to give to the less fortunate if you really want to, there are tons of ways to do it. Donations to homeless service centers are good. Also electing politicians who implement policies that actually help people. Like I said elsewhere, I am incredibly lucky to live in a place where my local politicians do everything they can to help low-income people. Thank you so much for your well-wishes. They mean a lot to me. Here
    Why did you beg for money i.e. was it because of addiction to drug/alcohol, or what? I guess it started with addiction, I was actually traveling around in an attempt to get sober on my own and I couldn’t get a job because I was worried I’d just get high again if I had more than $20 in my pocket at one time. So the person I was with at the time who was a more “experienced” homeless person than I was, taught me how to fly a sign so I could get some cash to buy a meal or socks or a shower or whatever. I didn’t start buying drugs with the money until about year 6 of being homeless. Here
    How much would you make, and how long did it take? It depended a lot on the day and the location, but I would usually stop after making $20-30. I wasn’t trying to make big bucks or take advantage, I was just trying to survive. I could usually make that amount in about 3 hours. Here
    I just wanted to say thank you for bringing this post to reddit, as I have recently gotten out of homelessness after being homeless for 6 years in the Midwest. Addiction and trauma were definite factors as well as domestic violence which is what got me there in the first place. I definitely vibe with your statement in another comment that said people remain homeless because they feel like they are not worthy of being good or having good happen to them. A lot happens in 6 years but it all seems like such a short time when it’s the monotony of the same struggles and daily life that your brain tries to blur in order to cope with the fact that you’ve spent so long doing that. I’m so glad you and your little one made it out of the life. I’m only 4 months sober and can’t wait to see what life brings now instead of waking up under a bridge dreading the long day of hustling up a few bucks for a pint. Do whatever it takes to maintain your sobriety. It’s so worth it. You are worth it. I promise. Here
    How many people are not homeless and ask for money to cover basic bills like rent? I’ve never met someone like that in my life, but I’m sure it happens. Every person I met who flew a sign was homeless and had a story of remarkably bad luck, trauma, addiction, mental health issues, or poor life skills from a shitty upbringing. Here
    How did the haters affect you or were you able to shrug it off? I have been permanently changed by the way people treated me when I was homeless. I have a tremendous amount of empathy now for people who are “undesirable” or otherwise off-putting. Every person is human and deserves basic decency. You never know what someone has gone through and if you knew you would probably want to do as much as you could to help. Here
    What did the sign say? I answered elsewhere but each sign was different depending on how I was feeling that day and what I needed. The simplest one just said “anything helps” but sometimes I would write funny things. Here

    Source