feel like my 20s were just a second teenage phase—emotionally unstable, jumping from one distraction to another. I often felt ashamed of myself or inadequate. Even though I grew out of my awkward teenage body, my confidence didn’t grow with me. I still felt like the ugly duckling I used to be between 14 and 17, seeking the wrong kind of attention in the wrong places. I tried to pretend and portray a version of myself that wasn’t real. I faked confidence the entire time, and no one would have ever guessed how unlovable I saw myself from the inside.
Truth be told, I invested four years in therapy—the best investment I’ve ever made, right after the time and money I put into my career. Now, I feel like I have such a clear vision of myself. All the past versions of me have come together to form someone I’m proud of: confident, strong, and whole.
The process of evolving into this version of myself has been transparent, but also deeply enjoyable. I look in the mirror and genuinely like what I see. I’m present in social situations, and I can tell that people enjoy my company. When I walk into a room, heads turn. Maybe it’s because I’m attractive, but also because I’m clearly enjoying myself—and that energy is contagious. It’s a gift that keeps on giving: when you enjoy yourself, your surroundings follow suit.
Even though I’ve been single for 11 years, I’ve let go of the social pressure and come to the conclusion that everything I need is already within me. The people meant to be in my life will see me for who I truly am—and they’ll recognize that I’m worth keeping, and worth the effort. The person who puts in the work—for themselves and for me, like I’ve done for myself—will be the one deserving of my attention.
And if that doesn’t happen? Well, then it wasn’t meant to be.
Cheers to radical acceptance.