its like this completely terrible, years-long itch i just can’t seem to scratch. i want to call someone dad and feel like it means something for once. i want to snuggle up and tell him all about my day, all about my life. i want to color pictures and go get ice cream. i want to be tucked into bed and babied. i want someone to protect me and tell me whats best for me. i want to take my trauma into my own hands and reform it. i think about it all day, every day. i want to be 6 again and be taken care of. the thoughts of scenarios can be sexual and extremely perverted at times, too. i just want to not be consumed by my desire to regress and my ever-confusing, sometimes twisted, sometimes innocent and normal desire for the nice father figure i never had. i want it to either happen, or i want it to stop feeling like such a necessity. i feel like i will never be satisfied in a relationship unless i assume the role of my traumatized child-self and the man assumes the role of a father.
Comments
Sounds like you’re looking for a sugar daddy.
Sounds like you may have some childhood trauma to unpack first.
As much as you may have a list for satiating this desire, it probably isn’t the healthiest option for you to take. There will be many people (men mainly) that would look to take advantage of your current circumstances and may even appear to be trying to help
I would seek help through means of a therapist or equivilant as you need to find a way to deal with the childhood trauma first. Truly deal with it.
If you still feel the same afterwards, even once the therapist or professional helping you also agrees you’re doing a good job dealing with, but the desire remains, you could pursue it then.
I certainly wouldn’t advise it until you’re certain its not a trauma driven desire that could be forcing you into more pain and anguish
You probably won’t find exactly what you want in a single person, but you could find what you need with different male figures.
Donate your time to an old people’s homes – you’ll find beautiful gentlemen that will delight in your presence. They’re full of experience and memories that they love to share.
You could do the same with young children, baby sitting or nurseries – to relive the beauty of your youth.
Lastly, find a nurturing partner. One that can be the man you look up to, and who could one day be the father to you and your children.
I did this. Not to find a father. But a mentor. In my environment there was no one that fit the bill for what I was looking for. No one I could aspire to get to the next level.
So I went to YouTube and started watching various influencers of certain things to see who I connected with on the level of knowledge I was seeking. I ended up with 4 solid mentors.
Without a doubt arguably better than having that physical person next to me giving me advice and guidance toward anything I needed to know.
Just what I was looking for.