He also has chronic bad breath. Even right after he brushes his teeth it still smells rank. I realize it’s “swapping spit”, and it can get juicy, but coming at me with greasy chicken lips from the jump grosses me out. We haven’t had sx but if the upstairs is hygienically tragic, I’m really worried about the basement. Also, his friends will jokingly tell him to back up, he smells like “hot garbage”, so I think maybe he just doesn’t care, or he would have seen a dentist or something. I feel really bad, and don’t want to hurt his feelings. AITAH?
I want to break up with him because he refuses to stop slopping his lips with saliva every time he kisses me.
r/AITAH
Comments
Lol you don’t have to date smelly people
NTA. Bad hygiene is a deal breaker, and I believe that if you have to come to Reddit for advice… You’ve already got your answer.
Nope, NTA hygiene is super important. You can certainly tell him or not. But most assured, nta. I have stopped seeing three people for “superficial reasons,” two bad table manners. One person ate with his fingers too much another chewed with his mouth open to the extent food fell out, and the last one had super smelly balls. Even when I asked him to wash, he still smelled terrible. Those things will not get better, and if they are a deal breaker, that’s fine.
My boyfriend also does not brush his teeth and I fell in love with him before so I look past it because I love him so much.
NTA. Break up with him.
This comes off as a fake story. The middle ground between doing nothing and breaking up is to tell him to take care of his issue. That would be you being nice…don’t feel bad, because this is disgusting and should know that. Tell him not to get close to you again until he fixes himself. If he refuses, that’s 100% a deal breaker.
NTA He’s got the ICK factor.
He stinks and kisses like a greasy drumstick, run before you find out what’s going on downstairs.
NTA. It’s not likely to change so getting out of that relationship sooner than later would be the best thing to do.
Definitely NTA. Body odor is a health issue that needs to be taken care of. How is a person supposed to take care of you if they don’t even take care of themselves?
So he has terrible hygiene and won’t respect your wishes? Girl run
Ewww noooo
You don’t need a reason to break up with someone. Breaking up with someone doesn’t make you an AH. They can be nice, kind, attractive and have good hygiene and you can still break up with them, if it’s not right for you.
If someone lacks basic hygiene and it grosses you out kissing them, you are an AH to yourself if you don’t break up with them!
NTA
Tell him to brush and floss and brush his tongue and use mouthwash
Ick. NTA.
I wouldn’t blame you for breaking it off him because that is just gross. But maybe advise him to see a doctor. That level of bad breath could be a health issue. Either the cause or result.
NTA and ewwwwww. He probably has a good case of periodontal disease. I wouldn’t hang around to find out about the downstairs if I were you.
I broke up with an otherwise wonderful guy because I hated his kissing.
Omg stop letting that guy kiss you. Cavities are contagious, caused by bacteria. Seriously, Google it.
You’re not the asshole for wanting to break up. Just do it. This is a useless post
I’ve broken up with s1 because of the way they kiss myself. Shalom you’re loved 💔
Give him a bottle of liquid chlorophyll and chirp out!
Ew. Why are you with him in the first place? Nasty
You got your red flag. Get out while you can!
Omg. I am I so grossed out by this. Run run run
NTA. You aren’t married to him and his medical care isn’t your responsibility.
How long have you been together? If you love him and want to try, you can gently tell him he needs to see a doctor and dentist because kissing him is unpleasant. It’s going to upset him… but perhaps leaving him will upset him more.
If you’re newly dating and don’t have feelings for him yet… move on.
How nasty do you have to be that even after brushing, your breath smells
I got sick reading this.
Bad breath, bad hygiene, and shitty, garbage bin kisses are all deal breakers for me. Bleh.
NTA
Why do you even have to ask?
Get him a dental pick. He could brush his teeth all day but the junk that lurks in between is massive and dental floss doesn’t get it. My dentist is always flabbergasted how clean my teeth are with no debris but it’s the pick that does the trick. I know, how are you going to present it to him without hurting his feelings? Be honest! Set honesty as a standard for communication right there and then! As to the hot garbage below…well, you also have to decide if his lack of hygiene is just too much to deal with.
You told them his friends told them he won’t do anything about it leave
That’s disgusting. I could never kiss someone who didn’t have a clean mouth. Yikes. To be an adult and not take care of your teeth is a choice for sure.
If you’re not attracted to him, you’re not attracted to him. Whether he smells bad and is a disgusting kisser or not. I’ve dated people like that and was married to one many years ago and believe me, it’s not worth it. And yes, the basement was worse than the attic.
Bad breath might be caused by cavities/ decay/ the bacteria that cause cavities and can also be caused by a bad microbiome in the gut, both of which are contagious.
Give him a few warnings. Be polite. He has to floss at least once a day and brush twice. If he doesn’t fix this tomorrow, I’d head off. NTA.
OP, if it makes you feel better, I dumped a guy because he had small delicate feminine hands that were very soft and it freaked me out. That was bad enough to but the deal breaker was that he had ONE fucking CD in his car and it was Barenaked Ladies – Stunt and he insisted on driving. We ONLY LISTENED TO THAT ONE CD IN THE CAR FOR THE 8 MONTHS WE DATED. I finally threw it out the window during a fight a he was so fucking mad we had to drive to this huge music store and buy a new one. I wanted to scream. We broke up that day. So yeah. Delicate hands and Barenaked Ladies. I’d say dumpster breath and sloppy dog kisses are valid AF.
I’ve never had something work out with someone when I didn’t like the way they kissed. Just break up. NTA
Probably just aren’t attracted to him.
If he were hot enough, you’d roll around in his shit.
Break up with him. Who gives a fuck.
oh girl how’d you even get here
Why are you telling us? Break up
He has friends telling him he sticks. He knows he stinks but doesn’t care. It will never change. NTA
LoL. Please dont visit the basement. Hihihi
If his breath stinks right after brushing, he could have tonsil stones.
Nta. Gross!
NTA. You never have to date someone with bad hygeine. It’d be a deal breaker for me, especially since cavities are contagious to a certain extent. Once you break up with him get a check up at the dentist maybe
NTA. You don’t need to date someone who smells or has bad hygeine. Just break up and move on.
Has he mentioned it to his doctor? Might be tonsil stones if his breath still stinks immediately after brushing his teeth. Unless he just doesn’t use toothpaste.
Deal. Breaker.
I’m gonna say this again, as I always say it. You don’t have to justify why you want to break up with someone. Yea, sometimes there’s a reason sometimes it just doesn’t work, there is no chemistry or whatever. You are never TA for wanting to break up with someone
For a second I read the title and thought you were trolling talking about your dog.
NTA
NTA. I LOVE my fiancés smell. Like he’s a garbage man, and I love how he smells, always. Even when it’s bad it’s good! So definitely NTA! You can break up with someone for ANY reason- you’re only the AH if you stay with someone you don’t want to be with, bc that’s not fair to you OR them.
Side story: I was an AH and dated a guy for 8 years who I later found out didn’t wash his butt. Like I knew it smelled but it didn’t smell so much that I noticed it often- I just assumed it was normal, that butts aren’t supposed to smell good (this was my first bf- all one night stands before him, so really it was the first butt I was around often). But then I noticed the sheets smelled like it after he had been sitting in the bed a while. I thought that was weird and kinda gross so I chalked it up to he has a smelly butt. But then , then I found out he doesn’t wash his butt! Ever! He said, “you don’t clean up unless you’re expecting company, and I’m not expecting any company back there”- so he was nasty AND homophobic/insecure in his masculinity! No thank you!
Thank god I stopped being an AH and finally ended it- it allowed me to find the love of my life, and if that’s what you want, I hope you find it too!
NTA. And ill 🤢 it won’t get better. Just leave.
You’re considering his feelings but he seems aware of the situation and is not considering your discomfort with the unpleasant smell. He should be smelling like mouthwash everytime you see him, at least showing he makes some effort not to smell bad. Why would you feel guilty about avoiding that? It’s not like you’re leaving him helpless or something.
Hygiene matters — if he’s that way now, imagine how many more nasty things you’ll discover about him later on down the line. I started to write a long rant about my encounters with this, but decided to save it for another time. Don’t feel bad and don’t subject yourself to it anymore. I was gagging reading your post…yuck.
🤮
NTA. He needs to work on his hygiene and you can tell him that in a kind way, then end the relationship.
Gross. I had a guy kiss me after a date like a dog licking an ice cream cone, I kid you not. All around the mouth/chin. He had just gotten out of a four year relationship. Which meant SHE LET HIM KISS HER LIKE THAT FOR FOUR YEARS.
We never went on another date.
NTA – it is rank mate, coming from someone who had ADHD and two single parents who gave 0 fucks about hygiene. I hate that I used to smell bad and get bullied for it (out of my control, family smoked weed all the time) but now I smell good, feel good, take proper care of my hygiene and dealing with the insecurity of my rotting teeth, (mainly bottom set).
I couldn’t imagine not caring about that stuff, why wouldn’t you want to feel, look and smell your best.
Did you get with my ex?