takes a long drag of my metaphorical cigarette
Ending my life is the calmest thought to me. I’m not in distress. I’m not frantic. I’m cool. I’m calm. I’m at peace. It’s only when I keep trying to thug it out is when I become angry and acting out intending to end my life
So today, I told myself to stfu and make a choice. Splatter myself in front of a moving train or do something different.
It’s my home environment which fuels my desire to end my life. Also fuels my self hurting. I hate it. I’m grateful but I cannot grow here any longer. It’s a poverty ridden area and the poor sanitation and drug addicts are overwhelming me. I want to try hard stuff sometimes. Anyways
Choosing to be homeless. Yes, with my dogs. It’s selfish. It’s cowardly. They’re mine and have been loyal at my lowest. I am making this move to become a better dog mom. I can’t keep hurting myself. Therapy does not replace the independent work and risks needed to be done, so let’s do this
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Here’s the deal; Your dogs will love you wherever they/you sleep. Trust yourself, Love. Make choices to keep you & your pets safe & alive for right now. That’s all. And you’re worth fighting for.
So from what I hear it’s maybe the option you like? That having an alternate choice gives you peace.
Do you need to become homeless or can you find a different home whatever that is for you and your dogs.