M(18), I kind of see myself as a loner. I don’t have many friends, and I often feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to. People don’t usually approach me or invite me to hang out, so when someone does talk to me, I tend to get very attached.
I constantly check if they messaged me, and I talk to them a lot—sometimes to the point where I feel like I’m being annoying or clingy. I want to change that. I don’t want to be overly dependent on anyone, but it’s hard because when I don’t talk to someone, I feel really alone.
I truly want to build strong, long-lasting friendships without overwhelming people. I’m also a freshman in a big city, and not having friends here feels really isolating.
How can I create real friendships and maintain them, without being clingy or too dependent? I’d really appreciate any advice or experience you can share.
Comments
You get a life.
When you fill your life with things you enjoy (seeing, being, doing), you don’t have time to get sucked into obsession with others.
In fact, you won’t even want to because you’ll be ‘busy’ enjoying your existence.
Do you have any interests in this new city?? You don’t mention anything you DO with your time, besides school.
Also, never wait on others. You make the first move and ask people you think are cool to hang out. “but what if they say no?” you won’t die from a little rejection.
Why are you letting others’ actions dictate your social life? If you put yourself out there, you won’t have this idea that [friendship/company] is a scarce resource, therefore you won’t be clingy.
How can it be that everyone is lonely, but everyone is anti-social?
You’d be surprised how many people are ‘waiting for the invite’ [to enjoy their own existence].
In this metaphor — you can throw the party. 🎉