I want to have sex with my boyfriend in the middle of a field at night while looking at the stars

I’m pretty much asexual , but recently I’ve had this urge that never goes away. I want to have sex with my partner in the middle of a field of wild flowers and look up at the stars while we consumate our love. I want to be consumed wholly by him, while he tells me it’s okay. I have really bad previous trauma but I trust him to take me apart and put me back together. Last time we had sex, it was really good and I remember him moaning into my ear and telling me how perfect my pu**y is and I got really wet and turned on. I feel ashamed having sex but I want to do it more with him…