I (20F) feel like I have no future and I’m destined to be alone forever, I feel like I’m just deadweight to all the people around me and always too much. I tried to do it before and I regret failing so much because now I’m coward and because one of my classmates recently took his own life I see how it affects people, and I don’t want for the people that maybe love me to suffer for such a piece of shit that can’t even clean her room and put her life and emotions together. I still remember the cries from the funeral and they haunt me.
(edit: i got my own age wrong)
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train wreck
Life can and will be hard, but not forever. It will get better as time goes by. Get the help you need ,with a dr you trust. It will help, I have been where you are It makes a difference.
Honestly, you’d be surprised how many people feel this way. Don’t do it tho. It just isn’t worth it….you’re allegedly “20”….between now and 40, you’re views will change so much, just like u laugh at you’re 8yr old self….when u make 40, trust me, shit you did at 20 looks CRRRRRRAAAAAAAZY 🤣. That’s facts. Go ask a random, you’ll see. Nah, suicide tho….it ain’t right. Peace.
People choose to end their life but they won’t fight with their vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
Please talk to someone.
You need to talk to someone.
Often people try to kill themselves and don’t succeed and are still alive but have a lot of health issues because of their attempt. That’s just going to make you feel worse.
Talk to someone and try to come up with ways to make your life more meaningful.
I’m 36 and “alone,” but I don’t feel that way. I have animals that keep me company and busy (1 dog, 2 cats, 1 horse).
Trust me when I say that as you grow older, you will find that the silence will turn into peace, and the loneliness will turn into comfortable solitude. Yes, you’ll still have moments, but they will be far and in between. You’ll also hold your self-worth a lot higher and not deal with the trauma and drama of the wrong guy.
Most importantly, you’re young, it’s okay to feel this way, I’ve felt this way, multiple times through my 20s, it’s pushed me to make changes.
It’s your life, kid. You’ve got hold of the reins. Now you just need to learn how to steer the horse called Life. And yeah, she’ll buck you off once in a while.
Same. I think a lot more people would end it if it had no consequences. Yet people would be sad and blame themselves for not helping you beforehand.
The 20s are rough. I wasn’t happy until I hit around 35. It doesn’t feel like it, but it will get better. In the meantime, try volunteer work at an animal shelter or something? Helping others helps you
Keep being scared of the aftermath, it’ll keep you alive. Also how about this: what if you die and the afterlife is more of this? What are you gonna do then? What if you have work in data entry for eternity? Or stock shelves or something you hate?
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Fear is an emotion we developed to stay safe, listen to it.
>deadweight
DMC5 Nero reference
My friend just killed himself 5 days ago can say do not do it. it hurts everyone around you. life can feel like it’s not worth living well mostly isn’t if you feel like not living. live for the people who you consider friends and family that’s how i get by don’t become a people pleaser but try to make someone happy everyday. Sometimes it doesn’y work like with my friend but i keep thinking to myself if i made their day better i might help them go on for another day but in the end he fell in with alcohol. Just a spur of the moment decision and he is gone he was 17 had so much life ahead of him but i ignored the warning signs and wasn’t there at the critical moment. I blame myself for not being there that is my point. Do not do it there are always people who care about you
It’s alright to feel like that, and you are also right about the aftermath. I heard that the best way to build relationships and trust is to ask for help. Let the people in your life know you love them by asking for help. Only you can prove that you aren’t alone.
Staying for the people you love is a valid reason, but it won’t be a long-term one. Find the life you long for. Look for more reasons to stay. There is a song in my native tongue that says if all life becomes is suffering, reach out to help someone else with less than you. Maybe you can finding meaning by changing someone else’s life? Even just for a little while. Go look for light and if you can find it, be it.
Good luck dear OP. I hope you choose to stay every day
If life is cruel, why do you think the afterlife would be different if there is one.
I’ll honestly say I have been and currently am suicidal. I’m 28, my organs are slowly failing and I can’t eat food or leave the house anymore. I’m malnourished and look like I’m on deaths door.
At 20 (like you) I had some shit go down. I lost some people I grew up with to suicide and accidents. A few years later I became disabled. There’s not a day went by when I didn’t think of ending it. If I knew I would get so sick shortly after, I would have pulled the trigger. BUT you never know what tomorrow brings. Once you make that decision, there’s no going back, and if you fail, you risk being kept alive, completely brain dead trapped in a body you can’t control.
Please, remember this. You matter, I’m a stranger on the other side of the wood and I even care about you. Just see what tomorrow brings. Every day you feel like this, tell yourself “what’s another day right?”
While I am suicidal due to my organs failing, if I put that aside and necked myself at 20, I would have never met my brothers first child, my cat was the same age as me so I stayed for her too (I didn’t want her thinking I abandoned her). Anything can happen. You’re so young, just keep pushing and doing your best. And hey, if In 10 years time nothing has changed, then sure do things your way.
Sorry if that just sounds like a ramble.
This might sound like a weird thing to say, but suicide is socially contagious. It’s a real psychological phenomenon, one person dies by suicide, and it increases the chances that others in the same school/community attempt as well. You can talk to someone about this.
The vast majority of survivors regret their decision the moment it’s made, you’re only 20, I promise you the permanent solution is not the one you want.