My dad verbally and physically abused me as a child. He would scream inches from my face at the top of his lungs, spank/ slap / lie on me so I couldn’t breath. I got involved with men online as a minor who sexually groomed me in bdsm. I was a sub since I was 15 and trained how to do all of these sexual things online. I dated a lot of different men but have always been drawn to manipulative/ verbally abusive/ abusive men/ sadistic. The dom sub thing comes up a lot too and I find myself going back to that. I feel like this is so deep in me and i have been obsessed with sex since I was very young. I have an amazing bf but I have this pull to abusive men it’s horrible not sure how to get over this ðŸ˜
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I am sorry to hear that you faced such horrible abuse as a child. Unfortunately those are such formative years and it’s difficult to control our subconscious mind to not be drawn to things like this. I speak from experience here as well. If this is really troublesome to you and causing you lots of stress, you should look into finding a therapist and/or other resources that would be available to you online.
Therapy and lots of it!
We are naturally attracted to what’s comfortable.
Bad men are very comfortable for you because you know exactly how it goes.
You’ll have to do an uncomfortable relationship until you adjust.
Be super smart about choosing.