I Was an A**hole Today at Work… and I Can’t Stop Thinking About It

r/

I Took Out My Frustration on the Wrong Person… And It Hurts Now

I’m 20 years old, working at a pharmacy store. Today, I acted like a complete piece of shit, and now I’m sitting here full of regret.

A man came in to exchange a damaged medicine. It was a simple ask, but I refused. I told him to come back tomorrow and get it from the pharmacist who gave it to him. My hands were shaking, my pulse was racing I was just angry, irritated, and for no good reason.

He tried to explain, but instead of listening, I told him to calm down even though I was the one being aggressive eventually I gave him the medicine and coldly told him not to come back and to go drive his “public transport.”

And that’s when it hit me.

He was an auto driver. Just doing his job. Probably tired. Probably just wanted a smooth experience. And I was the guy who made his day worse for no reason.

Now I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel disgusted with myself. I was wrong. I regret it deeply. I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to apologize, but if I could, I would

Comments

  1. Mysterious-Bake-935 Avatar

    Have you figured out what made you so irritated & agitated?

  2. polishchickaa90 Avatar

    Sometimes, we have bad days. We are all human. What matters here is that you reflected and you realized your behavior was not okay. You may not be able to take it back, or apologize, but you can take that feeling of remorse and turn it into something positive. Remember this feeling whenever you start to feel overwhelmed and try your best to be kind to everyone. Go volunteer at a local soup kitchen or animal shelter for a day. Sometimes, doing good in the world can make you feel good, too.

  3. ACrammyHand Avatar

    The good news is that you do have a conscience.

    You cannot change what you did, so ruminating will only make you feel worse. Just use this to reshape every single interaction you have in the future.

    Especially being a pharmacy, most already are probably not feeling their best… so try and be that little bit of joy they do have in the day.

    It’s okay that you were an asshole. We all have moments. The fact that it is bothering you so much is actually a positive and you’re highly unlikely to ever have an encounter like that again. I can tell that you’re one of the good ones.

  4. Keiser_Snoophy Avatar

    Sounds like trauma response..
    Self talk

  5. suspicious-octopus88 Avatar

    If you ever see that guy again you should apologise dude

  6. Repulsive-Teach889 Avatar

    You probably won’t get the chance to apologize. If you do, then you should do it.

    We all have bad days. Moments where we act, get mad, and lose our cool. It’s how you handle your response in the moment and your actions that really cement the encounter.

    Be introspective. Think about why you responded the way you did. Have you reacted this way before? And think really hard about why this makes you feel so shitty, and what you can do so that this doesn’t happen again.

  7. PutridSpeech6987 Avatar

    I love that you reflected at such a young age, the next step is to possible journal? Or find out a way that helps you figure out the root cause of your emotions.

  8. GorgeousElsie Avatar

    Damn, the self-awareness is rare tho. Most people wouldn’t even reflect on it. You fumbled, yeah but owning it this hard? That’s growth fr.

  9. IsolationOfAwesome Avatar

    Self compassion is crucial, especially when we make mistakes

  10. island-breeze Avatar

    Everybody has bad days. The only thing you can do is to recognise it and try to be better tomorrow. If you see that guy again, apologise. Nobody is perfect. Learning to forgive yourself is part of growing up.

  11. TallTinTX Avatar

    These are the moments we carry with us for life. The good news is that if you keep this memory in mind the next time you have a similar impulse, it should keep you from responding the same way again. It’s a very mature and professional position to take, knowing you’ll apologize to the customer if you see him again. Also, tell your boss about it and include your regret. If a complaint comes in about you, you may have a chance to apologize and make things better for the customer. When older adults call people in their 20’s “kids”, it stings when we’re in our 20’s but makes sense when we get older. We’re still developing emotionally and learning. That you chose you reflect on what you did and regret it shows a lot of maturity. You’re on a good path.

  12. WellWellWellthennow Avatar

    Learn from it and become a better person. Don’t do that again. Commit yourself to going out of your way to make everyone’s day better not worse.

  13. eli--12 Avatar

    Having worked at a pharmacy for 3 years…..I get it. I felt angry all the time. But you should definitely apologize to him if you get the chance.

  14. Beergogglecontacts Avatar

    I would say make it right by using this as a learning experience and grow to become a better person. Make it a mission or a goal to be the opposite of the person you were today; to everyone, everyday. It’s going to be work at first, but you’ll find as time goes on that it will become second nature as you start getting positivity back in return from others. Start with a goal of doing something positive 2 or 3 times per day. And one day down the road, when you run in to that man you’ll be able to apologize and let him know that it was that interaction that changed you and butterfly effected into countless positive interactions and energy put into the world. He’ll forgive you.

  15. WiseGenZ Avatar

    You were an asshole, we all can be at times.
    Jesus still loves you and still forgives you, you must love yourself and forgive yourself to reciprocate that love back and go forward and be better, life is one big growing experience ❤️

  16. mk160man Avatar

    You’re 20. You’re still learning how to adult. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I can think of many things I did in my early 20s that 52 yo me would cringe at.

    That you recognize your actions and the impact they might have had on the customer? Mad props to you. Take this lesson to your deathbed. You’ll be fine.

    If you do recognize this customer in the near future, please do try to talk to them. I know I’d appreciate someone owning their bad day.

    Be well!

  17. Champagne82 Avatar

    That’s awful. He needed medication and you let your emotions that has nothing to do with him prevent him from getting them. What if it’s something more serious coming in? You work with the public, you have to learn to separate the two and put your emotions aside. You work with people who need medications for their own health and mental health issues. When they go to you they should be able to feel safe and heard not rejected because someone who is suppose to be trained in this situation wants to act up for no reason. If you have personal issues get some help, if you need a mental health day then take it, but when you work and people need you you have to step up to the plate. Don’t assume someone can just come back tomorrow when you don’t know what they’re going through.

  18. Jwopd Avatar

    I woke up and chose violence yesterday and took it out on my boss first thing. Last night, I sent him an apology for the day and we laughed about it together. Shit happens. Sounds like you’ve got a conscience and the ability to recognize when you’re in the wrong. Being self aware is a mature trait of being an adult.

  19. notsomuchNC Avatar

    Reach out ….you have the number.

  20. RubyTx Avatar

    We all are assholes sometimes. That is not meant to excuse your behavior-you already know it was shitty.

    Here’s the good news. You don’t have to stay stuck in the shittiness.

    A couple of practical suggestions:

    1. What triggered your anger and frustration?
    2. Consider what it is that YOU can control about the triggers, and what you cannot.
    3. Establish some kind of non-harmful coping behavior for when you are feeling that frustration and want to lash out.
    4. Of the things you CAN control-make a plan for how to do that. What you can do to make things better for yourself.
    5. Remember, you are worth the work.

    You can change if you want to change. You are worth the work. You are worth the effort.

    You know that old saying-most people are fighting a battle under the surface we have NO clue about.

    Default to kindness when you can. It takes practice, but your life and those of others in your sphere will be improved.

  21. Time_outime Avatar

    I don’t know how you guys work in a pharmacy. Seams like a very stressful job. Big props!

  22. Imhere1269 Avatar

    I love the fact that you as a 20 year old realized that your actions ruined both your day. Take this as a learning opportunity and you’ll be able to calm down. It’s all good we all have bad days.

  23. WTIII Avatar

    Good on you for the self reflection! Id just try to learn from this so it doesn’t happen again! 😊

  24. HoraceRadish Avatar

    How would you feel if that customer was hospitalized or died because of your actions? You have to make it right. You should speak to the pharmacist and tell them what you did. You handle medicine not hamburgers.

  25. mrgonuts Avatar

    But you relived you were wrong so that’s a good thing now just try to be nice to people you reap what you sow

  26. Limp_Service_6886 Avatar

    It’s probably because your writing skills are so poor.

  27. Smug_Dick Avatar

    Don’t worry about it, I’m always an asshole at work!

  28. roofitor Avatar

    Hey OP, take it easy. You’ve convicted yourself. Now yah gotta forgive yourself. If this is a pattern, go seek therapy, your heart is in the right place.

    It could be stress, it could be physiological (something like hyperthyroidism, or low blood sugar for instance), it could be psychological.

    You’re attacking the flaws you find in yourself directly. Purely out of concern for the way in which you’ve affected someone (who you don’t even know). That is very commendable, and if all humans cared so much, this world would be a very different place.

    Best of luck!

  29. PhamousEra Avatar

    This really sucks.

    I’m sorry you’re feeling the guilt, but it’s a good sign that you aren’t an asshole and have a conscious. Yes you were caught in a bad time but that’s no excuse. Introspection is key here.

    I still remember being a dick for no reason to a coworker for no reason (in retail at that). I was “lil boring” him for no reason and he quit a into the job. We were just selling chocolate so it isn’t even a big deal. To this day I still think about it and cringe because I’m not normally like that back then either. And I never had a chance to apologize.

    Also… Road rage gets the better of me too back in the day. Then one time I switched lanes to pass (a little too close too) a car that was going under the speed limit. As I passed, I did the glare and head shake and realized it was an old woman who looked like she could’ve been my grandma. Then I thought what if someone road raged on my grandma? I still get frustrated sometimes from other drivers but I’ve stopped abusing the horn and just eye roll it away.

  30. Gyrmz Avatar

    I find that if I overcaffeinate it can make me act that way. Do you drink a lot of coffee or energy drinks before work? A lot of people are saying learn from it, it’s good that you recognize it, but there’s nothing you can really do about it at this point. No need to dwell. Life goes on, man. Every day is a new chance to do better.

  31. RipClassic119 Avatar

    As long as you realise it don’t worry anymore, if you see him again, talk nicely and have small talk. Get over your pride, thats all. May god bless you and him.

  32. Klutzy-Amount3737 Avatar

    We can all be a-holes.

    The difference is you have some self awareness of what occured and want to rectify it / not get there again.
    Most people don’t have that self awareness or just don’t care to do anything about it.

    So don’t be too hard on yourself.

  33. TheBascoFiasco Avatar

    You’re young and WILL grow from this. Recognizing it is a huge step. See if you have records and remember his name. Maybe you can call and apologize. But either way, take it as a lesson, be better moving forward slowly, and don’t be so hard on yourself or others. We’re all in this shit hole together.

  34. Pumpkin_Pie Avatar

    Use it as a learning experience

  35. Prestigious_Gain_175 Avatar

    Channel those emotions into positive actions. Go do a kind deed for someone. Phone an old friend. Visit an elder care facility. Ask if there is someone who never gets friends or family visits. Chat with them for just five minutes. Read poetry to them or just listen to them talk about the good old days. What’s done is past. Go do something about your future learning from this.

  36. Peas_Carrots121722 Avatar

    This happened to me today as well. I lashed out at another nurse over something completely stupid. Even the charge nurse was telling me, “Mrs. Nurse, let’s don’t do this in the hallway.” I apologized to the person, and she just said “mm hmm.” I wasn’t sincere in the apology, and she wasn’t sincere in accepting it. I was alone in the med room, and I did say a prayer to God to help me with my attitude and my temper. As I’m sitting here thinking about the reason why I lashed out – not making enough money, getting behind on bills – I realized something, she may be going through the same things. I should probably just chalk it up to a moment of weakness and move on. I’m actually glad to have seen your post. Carry on and have a good day, dear. 🙂

  37. Chile_Chowdah Avatar

    You should feel bad, you were a dick.

  38. Old_Version_8689 Avatar

    What a fucking asshole. Jesus christ.

  39. daytonavol Avatar

    Chalk it up to a learning lesson and do better…. I promise it’s happened to most of us at one time or another…. instead of beating yourself up, pat yourself on the back for recognizing it and move forward