Several years ago I was, for lack of a better word, “forced” to dig up my family’s dead dog, a Saint Bernard. He had been wrapped in a blanket and had not yet decomposed to the point where you could disassociate his body from him. It was a deeply troubling experience… one that I still remember vividly.
It’s been an isolating experience. It’s not a common one where other people can really relate to it. I have no equivalent victimhood to compare it to, so I don’t really know how to take it, or how others would take it if I were to share it with them.
Can someone just give their honest reaction and feedback? I just don’t know how to feel about any of it. Thanks.
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Why did you have to dig him up? The variety of reasons would inform the level of trauma. If you did it simply because they wanted a gazebo there? That sucks. If you did it because they are moving and don’t want to leave him behind? Well, that’s a sweet reason even if the chore was hard. Maybe look at it this way. Your pup deserved tender hands for such a difficult task.
Nah this sounds like a horrific thing to have to do. Especially if it was a family pet and as big as St Bernard’s can grow to.
I mean firstly you were pressured into it so clearly did not want to have to do it. And secondly you saw what you saw. My only experience with death firsthand has been seeing a parent pass away in front of me and that to this day still pops up when I close my eyes.
Imo, however you feel is valid. It’s a unique situation to have been in.
my father was a farmer growing up so I was raised with literally hundreds of animals. if you think that is disturbing… I had to break the legs of my dead dog with a shovel to get it into its grave since the ground was very dense with iron and gravel and I no longer had the strength to keep digging. I also had to snap chickens heads off at my grandmothers house by slapping them over my shoulder so she could pluck them and we would eat them. I have buried and dealt with hundreds of animal corpses that I loved. Eventually you get immune to all this since we are humans and we do need to eat and we come from hunters and gatherers. Eventually it all just seems pretty funny tbh. I do understand that the internet generation would have more trouble with these dark real moments. Its easy to get lost in the fantasy that life is all jellybeans. Yeah life has its dark sh$t, but it sure the hell ain’t as dark as the dark ages, you’ll be fine.
watch the first 3 minutes of this https://youtu.be/HmQoce0_YdQ?si=N1ngpjlE7pJxZ32y it should help in a laughably nihilistic way. Embrace the neitzche in your heart and laugh next time you have to do such horrible things.
don’t watch more or you might end up subgenius….. be warned…
-Rev Dr Mamagropes Doodlecrab
I’d be a bit curious of why you have to dig them back up but other than that’s not that big of a deal. It’s like when I had that human pelvis to my contacts they called him Elvis since it was just a pelvis.
Seeing something you loved in that state is very traumatic, I don’t know why you were forced to dig him up, but if you’re still having trouble processing it I recommend seeing a therapist to help you if you’re able to do that.
They say that time heals all wounds, but some of them tend to linger if they’re not addressed properly.
Why did your family force you to do that?
I’m so sorry.. that’s absolutely awful..
I’d imagine that if you were to bring this up with someone, they’d be inclined to ask why or more in-depth questions surrounding what to place.
I would think that this is not a common experience, but you never know.
My family had a dog that was old & not doing well. They decided that calling the vet for at home euthanasia was too traumatic from our last two dogs.. (i didn’t see those as traumatic, I saw those as Humane but overall shitty too have to make that call regardless..)
They wanted to put him down themselves.. via helium…
I absolutely told them that I didn’t think it was a good idea, that they should call the vet.. but I’d support & be there for them whatever they thought was best…
It worked… but there was a moment where it looked to be that it wouldn’t… i don’t like talking about it personally..I’m literally crying writing this… I cannot believe they wanted that route.. it haunts me & one of my biggest regrets..
I just can’t handle animals suffering.. it makes me sick..
My sympathies to you for having to go through digging up a loved one like that..
It honestly would help to talk to a therapist.
Wishing you the best.
Could you please explain the circumstances?
When I was 15, my dad had a business trip. He was raising 3 kids on his own and asked my mom to come to our house to watch us. We had a dog, and he was old. Her first day there, she decided we would be putting him down. She didn’t ask nor tell my dad. We were kids, so we didn’t speak up.
He died in her car, wrapped in one of her blankets. She stood there smoking cigarettes while we dug his grave in our yard. I didn’t register the trauma of this until I was much older. I think about it often even though it’s been almost 20 years.
I don’t know how to process something like this. I think your situation is worse than mine, although on similar planes. Therapy? All I can say is, if you do what I’ve done and cut off ties, never talk about it to the person’s face nor anyone else, if you never tell whoever made you do that how disgusting they are and how this will deeply affect you for the rest of your life, then it’ll just trickle down into all of your thoughts and relationships and existence. You may not be able to confidentially trace the reason why you have disturbing or upsetting outlooks on things or yourself back to the moment you saw your dog, but you can assume it’s played a part.
I’m really sorry.