Uh this is my first ever post and I just feel like I need to get this off my chest. I will not be mentioning how old I am or any personal details about me as ik my family members use Reddit a lot to read AITA or the confessions. I was first touched at the age of 3 or 4 by my dad, It made me a very sexual child. Id fantasies about being an adult with a curvy body and I’d masturbate quite a bit. Back then I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong because yes I would get caught. I would get in so much trouble but for some reason I couldn’t help myself. I would wait until I was alone or when everyone was asleep. Well I vividly remember one night I was trying to sleep and I couldn’t so I decided to touch myself. And as I was I saw my dad walk down the hallway, so I tried to pretend I was asleep so he wouldn’t yell at me to go to sleep, well he ended up coming into my room and rubbing my body and my butt while. I asked him what he was doing (bare in mind I was like 3-5) he told me to shut up and then asked what I was doing, and why was I still awake. I told him I don’t know and that’s when he rubed inbetween my legs. I squirmed and then he left. I went to sleep maybe an hour later just to wake up again in a different bed with my pants down later in the night. He would leave and then come back to touch me. I remember crying almost every night knowing he was touching me there and I was too scared to tell anyone because he was also very mean to me. He would tell at me constantly. He would hit me. He would bully me all the time and then at night would touch me while I was asleep while my mother slept in the room next door. One day my mother said that we were moving and me and my siblings where all excited. I thought finally maybe I can get away from him and be okay. But when we moved it happened more. And two other family members on his side touched me as well. My older cousin made me lay on top of him while he grinded against my private parts while my younger cousin slept right next to us. And my uncle put his hand down my pants and touched me while sitting right next to my aunty (his wife, my dads sister). At this point I knew it wasn’t right. But it wasn’t until sex ed in grade 6-7 where I learnt what SA was. That’s when I knew it was wrong. What they were doing was molestering me from a young age, yet still I was afraid to say anything so I kept quiet. I would smile and be happy while silently crying on the inside. this continued for years, my dad touching me more often my cousin and uncle only did it once from what I remember. But my dad continued to touch me for years after. It didn’t stop till I was 14 or 15. I was in my room trying to sleep and that’s when he came in and tried to bribe me with my phone (mune and my siblings phones got taken off of us) saying “I will give this back to you if you do me a favour. It will only take five minutes” I knew what he wanted but I tried to play it off saying back “what is it? A job? Like cleaning?” He wouldn’t tell me what if was and just kept saying that it would be quick and only take five minutes. He then tried to get on my bed and touch me but I jumped off and said “no I know what you want and I don’t want to. Stop” and I walked into the lounge, all the lights were still on and my sister was watching tv on the couch. I pretended that everything was fine and sat next to her. He got very mad with me the look in his eyes where as if I had stabbed him almost like a “how dare you” and he took it out on me the next day making me do loads of chores and yelling at me. My mother yelled at me a lot that day too.
Very sorry this is long. There is so many more incidents that I could definitely talk about but I feel this is so long already. I’m very sorry again and I understand if no one reads this I just really needed to get it off my chest.
Edit: I only posted this a few minutes ago and already so many have given some kind words and advice. Thank you sm I will respond as much as I can. Also forgive me on the grammar. And spelling mistakes english isn’t my first language I translated most of it through chat gpt and google.
Comments
This is a horrible story of child abuse. RUN! And make sure when you have kids they will never ever have to deal with such pain.
Get therapy
If you don’t share your ASL details, still your family members can understand by the details of the acts they have perpetrated.
I’m so sorry that you went through that. None of it was your fault; you were barely able to understand what was going on. I hope you get the chance to get professional help and heal from this.
I hope you’re not living with them anymore. Can you get some therapy?
I’m sick that you had to experience a childhood like that. I hope you’re as ok as you can be right now. 💛
please tell someone. maybe start with therapy, but please work up to telling your siblings and mother. if no one supports you then your family is the problem and you cut them out. if you are an adult, i would put everyone in a group chat and say what happened, including the ones in your dad’s side, then leave the group chat and wait yo see who will reach out to you. this isn’t great. one day you have kids, and you would never want them around your family, even the ones who don’t support you. please think of yourself and begin recovery. your dad is evil.
Oh wow…..I am blown away…..I am terrified for you. I love you
stay strong girl.. a friend of mine has a very similar story, she’s doing her graduation right now and her only option is to get a job and leave that house, i don’t know bout your situation but seriously, study hard and get out of there asap, and try telling your mother or close cousin about it.
you don’t have to stay silent and endure it so much please!
Such ppl dont even deserve to live! 🤬🤬🤬
Hope u recover from this. ! God bless
This is horrifying. I’m so sorry you’ve been abused throughout your life. Just awful, I hope you’re able to heal from this.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are incredibly brave and I hope it feels good to get this off your chest. I was also abused and didn’t understand until I was older. People might say “how can you not know?” but they don’t understand.
Don’t apologize for things that aren’t bad or aren’t your fault. You typed “sorry this was long” but if someone doesn’t want to read they don’t have to. Never apologize for unnecessary things. You are brave for sharing your story, even braver for surviving and standing up to grown man.
You’re not alone. And it’ll only get better from here
So sorry that you had to go through this. You got abused and the worst part by your dad and close family members. I hope you love yourself enough to treat yourself on therapy and to give this a place in your mind that you can close. Hopefully you will be able to move on from this. I also hope you are not in touch with your dad and your other family members that did you wrong as these are very bad, satanic people that are no good.
i am so sorry about that op, you don’t deserve that. I hope maka recover ka sa mga nangyari na yan sa’yo. Time will come na kakarmahin din yang mga yan *Virtual hugs with consent*
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I can only hope you can one day be free of this. I went through similar shit but with my brother and dad. It’s so fucking confusing horrifying and gross. It makes me feel so digusting and my body is still so confused and I’m quite a bit more grown now. It’s hard but the intrusive thoughts come and go. It won’t be forever. You can do this. A lot of people won’t believe you unfortunately but there is those out there who will believe you and care for you. I hope you find those people soon.
Sorry sweety, vent it out as much you can you can use microphone help you type faster
You can still come out of this horrible situation and continue with a life that’s better than what you’ve experienced in the past. Get help and find someone you can 100% trust!
send him to prison
First, I’m so sorry your childhood had to be tainted by your dad and his family’s actions. You didn’t deserve that, no one does. But, at least it sounds like they’re all still alive, for better or worse. My advice: find a way to gather any sort of evidence to prove that any of the acts that have been done had in fact taken place, in case you have to convince a jury, and then go straight to law enforcement. Or, maybe even just go straight to law enforcement first and get their advice on how to bring these people to justice.
Whatever you do, be very careful because if they catch on to your interest in pursuing legal action men like that can feel trapped and resort to drastic measures. I wish you the best and hope you can one day recover from the trauma and live a normal, happy life. ✌🏻
I am so sorry OP, you have to talk about this. Do you have a member in your family who you can tell and who could protect you? A friend? A therapist? A school counselor? You shouldn’t be scared to talk about it, because to do the right thing always feels wrong but you HAVE to talk about this, you have to report this
Reading the part, “How dare you” look
Gave me chills. I know exactly what you mean and that is more terrifying because they have this secret hold on you. You don’t deserve to suffer in silence when they lived their life abusing you. You only live once and you deserve to be heard. Don’t let them have that hold over your life anymore.
Hey. First of all, totally understandable that you don’t want to say your age, I am just hoping you’re an adult by now and can run fast from your family. I don’t know you, but this is horrible assault and no one deserves this. Please run fast from there and make sure no man in your life does that yo you or will do that to your kids if you have them. Please be careful. ❤️
If therapy is not accessible to you right now, I recommend speaking to a school counselor, school social worker, or school psychologist!
My heart is with you ❤️
r/CPTSD ❤️🩹
I went through a similar situation when I was a kid. Was touched by my cousin and back then couldn’t understand if this is okay or not. But now we pretend nothing ever happened. I have not told anyone about this and it sucks.
I’m so sorry you went through this. I will pray for you and I hope you can find happiness. Sending blessings your way. ❤️
Awww babygirl/babyyyy boy I’m so sorry that happened to u. I’m so sorry.
You’ll be 18 soon and you’ll be free. Write some goals till then.
I am so sorry you had to go through this, I follow Perry Power on Insta who has written books on this matter. Good luck in getting away from this horrendous childhood.
I was molested by my step-dad when I was 8, and I didn’t tell anyone until I was 16.
My biggest regret is not reporting this to the police because he’s still alive and molesting children.
I hope you have more courage than I did and report these animals so no more children are traumatized.
Also, i’m unable to report him now because it’s been over 20 years.
I’m devastated by what you are sharing. I can’t even read all of it. There are no words I can say to make this better because it’s so heartbreaking and horrible. You must be strong to share your story publicly. I give you a lot of credit for that. Please take care of yourself. You are more valuable and important to the world than you ever can imagine.
been through something like this too, n I know how much it messes with u,ure really brave for sharing and its not easy, and u are not alone,take care of yourself dear 🤍
Ian shocked and sorry that you had to go through this
You should do something and report them because your sister your cousin or another female born into your family we be SA because you stayed silent
This is terrible but you are a survivor. Definitely seek counseling to truly heal and break off contact with all
of these abusers. Don’t allow what’s been normalized on his side of the family to become even remotely normal to you.
Bullshit
I have no doubt many many are abused having vivid memories of what happens at 3 and 4 do not happen especially if as a adult no other family members or friends involved