I had an elective induction after my baby was a week past his due date. That was somewhat lucky for me, because it turns out when I got to the hospital I was diagnosed with preeclampsia.
Apparently, (in the US) this means you get an IV attached to you and you can’t leave the hospital bed at all, while you also aren’t allowed to eat or drink anything except things like Gatorade and popsicles.
The medicine they give you for preeclampsia makes you feel like absolute crap, just heavy and disoriented. I was feeling like that, strapped to the bed, with basically no calories for 42 hours of labor and never got close to being fully dilated.
I had an epidural and it not only failed, it caused extreme back pain to the point I was constantly begging to sit up and get out of the bed and they wouldn’t let me. (I have arthritis in my back, I’m used to back pain, this was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. The labor cramps were nothing compared to the back pain). The pain was so bad my memory from around hour 23-42 is completely hazy and fades in and out.
Around the 36 hour mark I started asking about a C-section because I was genuinely worried I was getting too weak to go through labor and concerned my baby would go into distress after so many hours and it would become an emergency situation. I was brushed off by the doctor, who had seen me a grand total of five minutes, who said she didn’t have time because she was too busy with other patients and my baby was fine.
Around the 38 hour mark my parents started begging the doctor for a C-section for me, and my partner started arguing with the staff. They started worrying I was going to have serious complications or die. At that point I just couldn’t talk. At one point my blood pressure completely dropped and I needed meds before it skyrocketed again. No amount of pain meds did a damn thing. The doctor again resisted, this time because it was near the end of her shift and she was “still too busy.” She insisted I needed to “keep trying.” In one of my clearest memories from that day I remember thinking “holy crap I might actually not make it out of this hospital.”
Finally, after shift change a new doctor came and at hour 42 I got my C-section and I hemorrhaged during it. I was so weak and drugged up I could barely open my eyes and couldn’t hold my baby.
It’s been five weeks since then and my baby is perfect. But I think about the labor all the time. I still have no feeling in my feet (I’m guessing from the messed up epidural). I have to use formula because I’m so anemic from the blood loss. It really felt like my suffering and trauma didn’t matter at all that day as long as my baby’s heart rate looked normal on the screen. And that’s it I guess. I’m grateful my baby is perfectly healthy, I just wish it hadn’t happened that way.
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I am so, so sorry you went through this, and so glad your baby is ok. Your experience and feelings matter. Therapy really helped me… highly recommend finding a counselor who specializes in birth trauma. I still have moments 4 years later where I have to sit down and process a bit, but things are much better overall. What country are you in? This doctor should be reported.
My sister always uses a doula even when giving birth in hospital.
Preeclampsia as well. No food for three days. Slept through everything exhausted and ended up with a c section as well. In the hospital for a week. Maybe the meds knock you out? I tried watching one movie- couldn’t even keep one eye open. My epidural worked though. My goal before all the interventions was natural. Literally zero decisions were made by me.
I’m so so sorry OP, this was definitely a traumatic birth and I’m so sorry you had to go through it. I’m glad you made it through and have your healthy baby. You’ve got to report that doctor, and maybe the staff too, they should not have been leaving you in that position and not listening to you.
I was induced and it took 3 days, and they wouldn’t allow me to eat. They induced me on Friday at 8am and I had my daughter at noon on Sunday. I had thought I just couldn’t eat after the epidural, but as soon as I was admitted they said, no you can’t eat even though they didn’t get me a room until 6 hours later, I feel like they should be much clearer on that. I saw a doctor twice, but he wasn’t there when I gave birth, but I wasn’t a big fan so that wasn’t a problem for me. Most of my nurses were wonderful.
I’m shocked they didn’t catch your pre eclampsia earlier (if you are in the us) and didn’t take it way more seriously. That in and of itself is a bad sign.
I had numbness in my limbs in the 8 weeks up to birth and for about two weeks after, but 5 weeks is a long time after.
I’m so sorry you had a horrible experience and I’m glad you had family with you to advocate for you.
Edit: wanted to add: They could have messed up your femoral nerve when doing your c section. If that’s the case then it can take a long time to be normal and can leave you with weakness in y ok r legs for life. Please bring this up at your check up next week. Also call and complain to your hospital. I did. There was a horrid woman from the billing department that waited outside my bathroom and stood there while I was naked after my first shower because she needed to verify my credit card. I called and complained and they adjusted my bill and apologized. Like I’d suddenly run off while my baby was in nicu and I had just finished giving birth a couple hours before. Call and complain, without a doubt.
i’m so sorry about this. my sister had a traumatic birth as well and it was horrible. i was there for all of it and i still get flashbacks and cry thinking of what she went through. there are not enough resources out there and the system truly is, as cliche as it sounds, fucked up. time will help the feelings subside. but i want to validate you and know that was not fair for you.
I didn’t get therapy for the traumatic birth of my first child until she was 16. I’d even had a second child and that birth was a walk in the park but I still couldn’t let go of the first one.
It helped. You should talk to someone about it professionally.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I really feel like medical care in the United States is basically collapsing.
US doctors not letting women in labour eat and drink is just ridiculous.
I’m really sorry op, this is awful. I’m glad you made it out and I hope you call and complain about your treatment.
I’ve never heard of labouring mothers not being allowed to eat when being induced! I gave birth to both my children in the uk, and I’m so thankful I did.
Op I’m so sorry! Honestly can you report that doctor? That’s refusal for medical care and if they did it to you they likely are doing this to others as well. You deserve a voice and to be taken seriously. I’m so sorry you went through this and relieved your on the other side and mending.
That is bizarre. I was induced and they let me move and walk around as much as I wanted until I had my epidural.
You had a traumatic birth and I would call your hospital to schedule an appointment with them and/or your doctor why so much happened went wrong.
This is horrific. Have you tried contacting the hospital’s patient advocate department for how the staff treated you? Not much may come of it unfortunately but this was beyond inappropriate and could have easily caused you and/or your baby to die. Someone needs to look into the doctor’s attitude towards you. This was so inappropriate and shouldn’t have happened.
The USA has some of the highest maternal mortality rates in the civilized world. It’s even worse for POC and especially for those who have cesareans. When Serena Williams had her first baby she almost died from medical neglect. I am so sorry this happened to you.
OP- I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. Doing what I could to take my power back helped me. I had another baby 6 years later and it was a healing experience. I hope you can find some healing too! My PTSD will never go away, but now I have the two kids I wanted and two dramatically different ‘birth’day stories.
I’d be suing the hospital if I were you, as well as filing a complaint with the college of physicians against the original doctor, being busy with other parents is not an excuse to neglect a potential emergency
I’d recommend finding a lawyer that specialises in medical negligence. Where I worked ( Not US) it was routine for any complicated birth to have a debrief a couple of days later to answer questions. We also have Ryan’s Rule Whereby if you are not happy with the care that you or your family are receiving, you can request and get an immediate review by someone more senior ( which doesn’t help you , I know). you also need an anaesthetic review. and seeing an experienced therapist
I’m so sorry this happened.
I had a semi emergency c section, it was scheduled but I went into labor early. Due to being a TTM, I was RUSHED into surgery. Anyways, you mothers who tried a natural birth then are given a C section are superheroes. Seriously! Everything your bodies went through then you go through major surgery! Idk how you guys do it. Amazing. Absolutely freakin amazing.
I’m sorry you were not heard. I swear us mothers don’t matter JUST AS LONG AS BABY LOOKS GOOD!!!! 😊 🥰🥰🥰