So recently at my company there were two promotion oppurtunities in different roles and several people applied for each one. A good friend of mine got one but the other position, the one I applied for, got taken down and there’s no information as to why. I was very happy for my friend but obviously disappointed that not only did I not get promoted but the position was removed and nobody can tell me why. That doesn’t feel transparent or upright at all.
I understand that what happened is out of my control but I’m experiencing a lot of emotions. I’m embarassed that I look like a failure, I’m angry at the company for doing this and I feel like a fool for buying into the whole thing. Even though I’m happy for them and their success, I can’t help but feel like a little jealous/resentful of my friend. I called them to say congratulations and we had a nice chat but it already felt different. A few days ago we were encouraging each other and now that they’ve moved up it feels like they’re distancing themselves.
So with all that in mind how do I move forward in a healthy, productive and dignified way? How do I avoid falling into the trap of becoming embittered?
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wait til you learn about nepotism and how promotions REALLY work…
I was passed over for a promotion three times at one of my other jobs. I was last pick when I finally got chosen. They we’re wrong to choose me last, I kicked ass at the position. Just be patient, your time will come.
Start looking for another job. Until you find something promising, keep your head down, keep working hard.
If you must, go and talk to one of your bosses and ask why the position you tried for got taken down as you felt you were well suited for it. This will let them know clear you really wanted a shot at the promotion and they should not be too shocked if you start looking elsewhere.
(But of course keep this 100% private so that only you and noone else knows you are looking around.)
Find another job.
Career and promotions are a marathon not a sprint. Sorry to hear you didnt get it but your friend did, but your time will come. My suggestions are maintaining that positive attitude being happy for your friend (despite how much it sucks) and who knows later down the road they can vouch for you. Another one is simply asking what happened to that role? Id say from how you processed your feelings and thoughts, youre a great communicator and im sure another one will come later. In the meantime, sorry to hear but keep at it đź’Ş
I say as long as my paycheck doesn’t get any smaller, I’m fine. In the grand scheme of things none of this shit matters. We’re all specks of dust flying through space. You’ve accomplished so much already, in time you will accomplish more. Just not right now. Go fishing. It’s more fun outside of work.
Does being angry at the company or a bit jealous of your friend get you what you want? No. Does it position you well for when future promotion opportunities come up? No. Does it put food on your table or a roof over your head? No. Don’t self-sabotage. Focus on continuing to do your current job well and accept the promotion disappointment with grace. Other opportunities will come up. Focus on that goal.
Stay but look for something.
Anywhere I have ever been where someone was passed for a promotion didn’t end well for that persons sanity.
Employers post and unpost for various reasons. Don’t read into it. Your time will come.
If you want to follow up, talk to your boss and ask how you can get prepared for the next time they post. Show your interest. Font use it as an opportunity to complain. Work for the future.
Each time I haven’t gotten the promotion I wanted I ended up in a better position within a year. If I got those promotions, then I wouldn’t have applied to the better gigs (with outside employers).
The lesson I’ve took from 16 years of this is I need to be patient. Seek what I want, but don’t be bitter
Calm down. Just because there was a promotion and you didn’t get it, doesn’t mean the end of the world. Keep grinding.
Tbh I’d rather increased comp and benefits than a promotion.
I want a good balance of money and personal time to enjoy life. Also politics suck