I don’t know where to start, but I need to write this down. Maybe seeing it in words will help me make sense of everything.
Looking back, I realize how young I really was when my partner and I first connected. I was just a child(11) maybe younger.i can’t remember, and he was much older(28 ) I think . I didn’t understand what was happening at the time (he was my stepdad) . I didn’t even know I was in a relationship until he started accusing me of things I didn’t even understand—telling me I was being unfaithful when I was simply existing. That’s when I realized that, in his eyes, we were already something serious.
When we made our relationship public around the time I turned 19, it still didn’t feel real. It felt like I was hiding, not just from the world, but from myself. Hiding my feelings, my thoughts, my entire sense of self. Over the years, I’ve tried to find comfort where I could. I love feeling appreciated, being told I’m beautiful—it made me feel seen in a way I wasn’t used to. But to him, that was betrayal.
For the past seven years, I’ve searched for that comfort outside of him. I’ve made choices I regret, but at the same time, I wonder—why did I have to look elsewhere in the first place? Why wasn’t I getting what I needed from the person who was supposed to love me? Now, he tells me this is my last chance. But love shouldn’t come with conditions. He wants me to prove myself, to show my loyalty in ways that make me uncomfortable. And in return? Marriage. The promise of something more. But is that really love?
I just want to feel loved the way I’ve always dreamed. The kind of love you read about in books—the kind where your partner surprises you, holds you close just because they want to, tells you how much they cherish you without being asked. I want affection, spontaneous moments, real connection. A love that makes me feel safe and valued, not like I have to earn it.
He can be that way sometimes, but most of the time, he’s distant. Cold. I feel like a roommate, not a partner. Sometimes, I feel more like a burden than someone he treasures. He talks down to me, makes me feel small. Like my wants and needs don’t matter.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe to see it all clearly. Maybe to remind myself that what I feel is real.
But now that it’s all laid out in front of me, I have to ask myself—what do I do with this truth?
Maybe I’m overreacting like always…I don’t know
Comments
Let’s call it what it is: YOU WERE GROOMED BY YOUR STEP-DAD. You’ve never had actual love because you experienced child grooming from someone who was supposed to protect you as their step child! You’re an adult now and you see what you really want from a relationship and this ‘relationship’ ain’t it. Honey, RUN away from this man. Change your job, address, number, socials and even your name if you have to- but GET AWAY from him. Go heal from this nightmare, start living your best life and go find the love you deserve.
Sounds like Stockholm syndrome. You’re attracted to your abuser. That’s not love, he wants control over you and this last test before marriage is to make sure you won’t break in the future
You’re not overreacting – you were groomed and abused by someone who should have protected you. This was never a real relationship – it was exploitation by your stepfather starting when you were a child. You deserve actual love, not this manipulation.
Please reach out to RAINN or a similar organization – they can help you process this and find support. You’re not alone, and none of this was your fault. What he did was criminal.
Don’t let him convince you to stay. You deserve so much better than someone who abused their position of trust. There are people who can help you get out safely.
Your step-dad turned boyfriend is essentially twice your age (+17 years).
Just on age alone I’d tell you to move on, the separation will only grow.
But, because you were once his step daughter, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. That is disgusting of him. The imbalances you feel are multiplied by the age and previous power dynamic of this relationship, which is why him doing so is so perverted.
Op I can’t imagine a path where this works out with him, but if you choose that, all I can do is wish you luck.
HES A PERVERT
Hes your groomer and you always his victim. I urge you to LEAVE NOW PLEASE
We’re all here for you OP and hope you get away from thay creep
You are not overreacting.. I am so, deeply, unbelievably sorry this has all happened to you. You were groomed and abused by someone you were dependent on – you were a child, and they were supposed to protect you, but instead they continue to hurt and demoralize and demean and traumatize you, and have given you an inaccurate, warped perception of the world, and more importantly, your self worth.
I know it’s incredibly hard, but please try to get some professional help to talk through and process this trauma, and get away from this man if you can. I’m sure you feel bonded to him, but PLEASE try to understand, and I mean this as literally as possible: he is an emotional and psychological cancer, and he will take you down with him if he can get away with it.
Just one more thing – you are beautiful, you deserve love, and you deserve dignity and respect. Good luck, I know you will get through this and find everything you could ever want, because as difficult as it is to see buried under the weight of your situation, what you dream of having, how you dream of being treated, it’s not a fantasy.
This is fake rage bait
Leave him ASAP. He took advantage of you and things will not get better. Run, girl.
Honey you were GROOMED!! You need to get away from him NOW!!!!!!! He’s a predator and should be in jail for assaulting you!!! Please go and get some help and get away from him. HES NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!!!!!! Love shouldn’t hurt. And he’s wrong for being romantic with a CHILD!!!!!!!!! PLEASE GET ASSISTANCE!! NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!
Where was mom in all of this? Did she see signs of this man preying on you? Did she finally just decide you could have him? You are young enough that with help you can learn to live healthy. You must get your mind right after all of this. Please seek real help. Have a plan. Get out. Do NOT speak to him again, you don’t owe him any chances. You’ve got to amputate him from your life completely. Or you’ll be suckered into going back.
You are in an abusive relationship. Get out!
You might not like this but it’s obvious from the outside: you are just being abused by a psychopath and a pedophile. No love, no care, no empathy, no nothing. Just run, rebuild your life and regain your sense of self worth. An adult that grooms a child is irredeemable and worthless.
Hope you’re alright!!
Oh my goodness, that feeling when you realize you’re caught in a situation where you’re constantly seeking validation and feeling like you have to earn love, and it’s just… well, it makes you want to hide under a blanket and never come out, and, I mean, I get wanting to just curl up and eat a whole pizza, because sometimes life just feels like too much.
You were groomed by a disgusting human being that was supposed to be a father figure and instead he preyed upon you. Please understand that this is not love. He wants to control you. Do you have any family or friends that can help you get out? Please look into talking to someone. This is not normal no matter how normal he tries to convince you it is, or that he loves you or any of the above. If he did this to you, imagine what he has done to others. I am soooooo sorry. But it sounds like you also know deep down that this isn’t right. You are a victim. Please get away from him ASAP.
B+ on the Composition assignment.
Seems contrived.
AI
Oh no
WTF is wrong with you