I was out with my grandma and mom and this older man started up a conversation with us. He instantly gave me the creeps but I brushed it off as me being paranoid. He tried to get my mom and grandmother to go dance to the music being played, to me it seemed like it was so he could be alone with me, but luckily my mom stayed. Then he started telling me how beautiful I am and kept touching me and kissed me on the cheek twice, which is not common in our culture but still nothing too outrageous. Then as we were leaving he gave my mom a hug and I watched his hand grab her breast and give it a big squeeze shamelessly. Neither of them did anything to indicate that they were interested in one another, we had a totally normal short conversation, although even if my mom showed interest it still wouldn’t be an okay thing for him to do. The sad part is that my mom sees nothing wrong with this, when talking to the rest of my family she kept mentioning what a nice guy he was. When I tried to tell her that he wasn’t actually a nice guy she said us women have to tolerate things like this. It makes me sad that she has been conditioned to think it’s okay for strangers to objectify her that way. This is not the first time men have been creepy towards her or my and my siblings and she has just let it slide.
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Touching you and kissing you isn’t outrageous? Yeah the conditioning is generational.
That whole interaction sounds out-fucking-rageous. Sorry you had to witness the last generation’s tolerance of disgusting behavior. Do your best to stop that tolerance with you.
I have a friend i hang out with,but not so much lately. We usually meet at the local bar and barhop. One night i go up and she’s there with another regular who’s eating fries. I politely declined his offer to share. After a bit I was texting a friend and he says “here” shoving a fry at my mouth. I loudly said “I told you no!” And he actually tried to shove it in my mouth when I was talking. I pushed his hand away,got up and told her I’m leaving with or without her. She laughed it off and we left after i used the bathroom.
In the truck she said it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was mad,calling me a ‘stick in the mud’. I told her I don’t like anything forced on me. She said “he just wanted to see something in your mouth” and laughed like it was a normal thing.
Mind you I’m 49,she’s 54 and the guy is 60-65ish. At times i hate being around older men. I can hang out with 30-40 yr olds and they respect boundaries.
I think my Reddit is acting up, it says nine comments but I can only see two
Oh man, I’m so mad reading this. That dude was really out of line… and your mom not seeing it? Ugh, I get that it’s scary to confront it, but we need to stand up for ourselves. Ever thought about starting with something like “You know what’s not okay?” before explaining why?
I think screaming is an appropriate response when seeing this in person. But I wasn’t there.
At these moments it would be awesome if a giant fist came out of nowhere and grabbed these thugs by their balls and gave a nice long very tight squeeze.
Where are you from? Because this is insane.
Um….HELL, no, we don’t have to tolerate things like this if I was in your mother‘s place, he would’ve got a drink splashed on him at the very least or slapped at most. It is never OK for a man to touch a woman without her consent and by allowing this man to do that your mother is not part of the solution, but part of the problem. Please, for every other woman out there start standing up for yourself to stop this kind of behavior.
You can see how bad the treatment of women was by how much older generations minimize things like this.
I remember the Clarence Thomas hearings around 1991. My grandma said “sometimes it’s just a little pat on the bottom”, like what’s the issue?
Nasty. Don’t put up with it. Do not.
This is when he needs to learn the phrase, “How can she slap?!”. Teach your mom and grandma to stand up for themselves since they weren’t allowed to learn it young.