I went on a date with him knowing I’d be roofied.

I need to get this off my chest. Didn’t think I’d ever use my Reddit account my friends urged me to make but… It’s been eating me alive for too long, and I can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen. I’m not looking for pity or judgment since I know how stupid I was here but—just a place to finally let this out. This is about me, a guy I thought I knew, and the worst mistake I’ve ever made.

Back in high school, I (let’s call me Sushi, 18F now) had this tight friend group. We’d spend hours gaming—Mario Kart marathons, late-night Discord calls screaming over Fortnite and Minecraft, all that. One guy, I’ll call him Jake, was the heart of it. He was charming, quick-witted, and always knew how to make me laugh. We’d been close since elementary school, sharing secrets, passing notes, the whole deal. I had the biggest crush on him, but I never said anything. He was just… Jake. My Jake. I thought he’d always be safe.

Fast forward to freshman year of college. We’d all scattered to different schools, but Jake and I stayed in touch. I’d see his posts on Insta, hear his voice in my head when I’d replay old gaming clips. But then, I got a message in our high school girls’ group chat that flipped my world upside down. One of the girls, Sarah, told us Jake had assaulted her. She’d gone out with him, had a drink, and woke up in his dorm with no memory of the night. She found out he’d spiked her drink. She was broken, and reading her words felt like a punch to the gut. This was Jake. Our Jake. The guy who’d pause a game to let me catch up, who’d sneak me extra snacks at lunch. It didn’t compute.

The group chat blew up. Some girls believed Sarah, others didn’t. I just sat there, staring at my phone, feeling like I was betraying her for even questioning it. But I couldn’t shake this need to know for myself. I had to see him, to look in his eyes and figure out if the boy I’d loved for years was really that monster. Worse, there was this ugly part of me—jealous, stupid—that hated he’d picked Sarah over me. I know how awful that sounds. I hate myself for it. But it’s the truth.

So, I texted him. Acted like I hadn’t heard anything, like it was just old friends catching up. I asked him to hang out, suggested a club near campus. My heart was racing when I sent that message, half hoping he’d say no. He didn’t. He sounded excited, and for a second, I let myself believe it’d be fine. Maybe Sarah was wrong. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. God, I was so naive and stupid

The night came, and I dressed up—cute short skirt, black crop top, trying to feel confident. We met at the club, and it was like no time had passed. He was all smiles, cracking jokes, buying me a drink. I remember watching his hands as he handed me the glass, searching for… I don’t know, a sign? A villain’s smirk? But he was just Jake. I took a sip, then another, telling myself I was being paranoid. We danced, laughed, and for a moment, I forgot everything.

Then it hit. My head started spinning, way worse than any buzz I’d ever felt. The lights blurred, his voice sounded far away. I tried to say something, but my tongue felt heavy. I don’t remember leaving the club. I don’t remember the walk to his place. I woke up in his bed, clothes gone, body aching in ways it shouldn’t. He was asleep next to me, snoring like nothing was wrong. I lay there, frozen, piecing it together. The drink. The haze. The truth.
I didn’t scream or cry. I just grabbed my stuff and left, barefoot, clutching my phone like a lifeline. I didn’t report it. I didn’t tell anyone. I was too ashamed—ashamed I’d ignored Sarah’s warning, ashamed I’d wanted him to prove me wrong, ashamed I’d let myself be so stupid. I blocked him, deleted our chats, and tried to erase that night from my brain. But it’s still there, every detail burned in. The sticky club floor. The taste of that drink. The sound of his snores.

Sarah moved on, or at least she seems to have, from what I see online. I haven’t talked to her since. I don’t know if she knows what happened to me, but I can’t face her. I feel like I betrayed her, like I walked into his trap knowing it was there. I don’t know why I’m writing this now. Maybe I just need someone to hear me, to know I’m not okay but I’m trying to be. I see Jake’s posts sometimes, living his life like nothing happened, and it makes me sick. But I’m done letting him haunt me.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been through something like this, I’m so sorry. I don’t have answers. I just have this story, and I needed to let it out. Thanks for listening