I’m tired of being an adult, tired of responsibilities and expectations.
I have a great job that I hate because the concept of work itself is repulsive to me, I would prefer to just lie in my bed and do nothing instead. Having some form of ADHD that makes me procrastinate everything my entire life does not help at all.
I have regular arguments with my wife, which in vast majority of cases is 95% of her telling me what’s wrong with me and 5% of me saying sorry and promising to get better. I listen how I should be more responsible, come out with initiative more for ideas for spending time together, act better when we meet with friends (I’m not good into communication with people and I always had trouble keeping friendships), clean the house more often, spend less time with coding and gaming. The thing is, when we have those quarrels, my thinking is that she’s 100% right but I have no internal self-discipline and drive to meet her expectations. She’s a fine a woman and I don’t deserve her, she should be with someone better. And it’s going to be 5x worse because we will have our first kid born soon which will propably triple the responsibilities and expectations.
I don’t drink and don’t smoke at all, but I had time in my life where I did both and had no work and no wife and this was great. Currently my only dream is to make a clone of myself, tell that clone to care for my family so they don’t cry after me, teleport to some alternate dimension where nobody wants anything from me, and then drink alcohol and smoke weed for couple months up to a year while playing League of Legends and making my open source web applications and then just die. I am aware that average person reading this will think that I am a shitty person, I would love to be better man but I am not.
32 y.o. male
Comments
I understand how you feel. I also have ADHD and a lot of trouble with motivation and responsibilities. There are days when i never wanna leave my bed and just want to nap and doomscroll and pass away after a few weeks. In my case that feeling is connected to my depression. ADHDers tends to have depression, it can be a side effect as far as i know. I went to a mental health clinic for a few weeks and realized that i was stuck in a severe depression. I‘m better now but i really see myself in the way you’re describing your situation. Maybe you might want to look into depression and therapy? Can’t hurt to try, especially with a baby on the way
34m i related to parts of this.
especially
>I have a great job that I hate because the concept of work itself is repulsive to me
and
>Having some form of ADHD that makes me procrastinate everything my entire life does not help at all.
Adderall really helps me when it comes to initiative, and not procrastinating
As for her, is she always like this? my wife would never talk to me like that, even while she was pregnant, even if my raging adhd would annoy her.
But I also keep up with chores around the house and dont play video games when there is other stuff going on. Maybe start with those.
Come on man
Same. But sooner.