I 29F would love to know about my partner’s( 32M) past, how he was with his ex-lovers, his first kiss, first relationship every single relationship he ever had, and why each and every relationship ended. But we never ever discussed our past, we are currently engaged, and it is looked down upon or seen as taboo to have a relationship before marriage in our culture. Still, it is common for youngsters to have a relationship without informing their family. How can I ask him? Also, I would not like to discuss my past with him, ( I know this is weird, please don’t judge) this is the sole reason I haven’t asked him yet, but I won’t be jealous, I love this man, and I would love to know about this important aspect of his life
TL;DR: I would love to know about my partner’s past but don’t want to ask him, or have the guts to ask him
Comments
Best approach is to ask him questions.
But if you won’t share your’s then why would you expect him to?
Well it’s not fair to ask him and then not answer the same question in return. You can either not ask, or you can ask and be prepared to give the same honesty you are expecting.
Don’t ask what you wouldn’t be prepared to answer yourself.
Consider he may not be interested in sharing that with you.
My problem is the opposite. I was told and asked way more than I would have liked to have. Especially the told part. I will never know the actual stuff I would want to know.
Also some of the stuff he got out of me by asking, he uses against me in arguments that have nothing to do with our current situations or the person I am today.
Leave the past in the past. Build a future together. If everything is going great, leave it that way. No reason to try and figure out who he was in the past, he is who he is today because of his past and he will be who he is with you in the future because of you and your current life. You will learn who he is through your life together.
>I won’t be jealous
Uh, I’m not sure you can credibly commit to this.