I(18F) feel that i dont deserve being treated this way by him(18M)

I think in a relationship,valuing each others opinions and expectations is imp,but in my relationship of 3 yrs,iam the only one completing his infinite number of expectations,i have no other choice,i have changed completely as a person i was 3 yrs ago…he keeps on expecting me to be like how he wants me to be, but when i expect the most basic things like stop smoking,drinking,inform me while going somewhere or not to give me silent treatment for small things,he cant even complete a single thing of tht…but at the same time if i even repeat a thing he told he doesnt like once upon a time,he gives me silent treatment(idk if i have a issue but i cant control my anxiety when he behaves tht way and it affects me badly)i have told him numerous times to tell me simply and i will not repeat again but he just cant…and while fighting he uses rude language but never apologises,i also use rude language sometime but i take the blame myself and keep apologising till he forgives me….whereas he shifts the blame on me saying,i did this thing so i said tht thing…whenever i tell him tht iam hurt cause of this thing did by uh,he remind me of past when i hurted him by not listening to his expectations(expectations of not wearing short clothes,sleevless,crops,jeans,tshirts,3 4ths,not growing my nails even a bit,not going outside house without his permission,if i do smthg he doesnt like…eg i coloured my hair,he forced me to remove it by any way possible and kept fighting and hurting me till it was gone…even when gone,he dint trust me enough,not even allowed to cut 1 inch of my hair by my choice,not allowed to go on tours with my parents without his permission…even if i go by fighting with him,he wont talk properly and give silent treatment for a month etc and wont let me even enjoy the tour happily…this hppns for even small distance trips within the city)

TLDR: In my relation,i have no right of expecting anythinf from him but he has all the control over me.