So, a little over a year ago, I(m24) lost my best friend(m25)(1-2years ago). After he passed, I stayed in contact with his ex(f27). We were both grieving, and over time, we got close like, really close. What started as shared pain kind of grew into a solid friendship.
Fast forward to now, we’ve been close friends for a while(1-2years). We hang out a lot. We’ve gone out to lunch, chilled and watched shows, done errands, talked for hours about everything from life to space to dumb trivia. I help her out with stuff around the house, she’s cooked for me, we’ve spent full days together. She’s even had me sleep over on the couch a few times. Nothing’s ever happened, and I’ve always kept it respectful.
But I caught feelings. I didn’t mean to, I honestly tried to ignore it for a while. But she’s amazing, smart, funny, weird in the best way, and just easy to be around. It went from friendship to something deeper on my end, and I’ve been sitting with it for a while now.
She recently got out of another relationship and has been talking about dating again. Shows me people on apps, mentions who she thinks is cute. And yeah… that kinda sucks to hear when you have feelings you’re trying to keep quiet.
There have been moments where I thought she might feel something too, like little things, like how close we sit, random inside jokes, her saying “our” when talking about stuff at her place, or asking me to put on her necklace while she’s dressed up. But maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see.
Last night, I finally texted her and told her that I’ve really enjoyed spending time with her lately and that I’d like to take her out on a real date. I told her there’s no pressure, I just didn’t want to keep pretending I didn’t feel that way.
It’s been several hours and… no response.
I’m not mad, and I don’t regret being honest. But now I’m sitting here wondering if I ruined a good friendship, or if this was something that needed to happen no matter what.
I’m not looking to take anything from her. I don’t want anything she hasn’t freely offered. I just care about her genuinely care and wanted a chance at something real, if she ever felt the same.
I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve kept it to myself. Maybe not. Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this?
Comments
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This is definitely one of those things that for you specifically wouldn’t want to look back and wonder what if, I think if I was in your shoes I do the same thing because I wouldn’t want to later in life look back. If she cares as music has you mention etc I would think she is thinking about it and would eventually want to talk to you and decide what she feels is best for her and you nothing and that maybe give it a shot and see what happens or let you know she would want to continue the friendship. I would if say if she want to just continue the friendship for you to expect things to change a bit but I if in your shoes can live with that because at least I was able to speak my peace and not have to wonder what if.