So for context, ive (19F) lived in the philippines my whole life and moved to the US for college. Ive been here for about a year now, and I still havent made any close friendships with anyone, but thankfully i still keep in touch with my friends back home pretty often so I dont feel that lonely all the time. I know how to speak english well, but my problem is i dont know how to socialize with other americans.
I feel like i come off as awkward and most of the time im analayzing social interactions to try to pick up some small talk/slangs/humor used but it doesnt feel natural at all. Every conversation ive had feels very surface level and i havent made any close friends. When i was back home it seems very easy to meet new people I can connect with because of traits i have in common with them. Here however, i feel like its harder to find stuff in common because its a different country with different culture. Does that make sense?
I do go out to try to meet new people like in work, school, and occasionally some yoga/dance classes too, but i cant seem to make any meaningful relationships. Most people ive met are friendly but not necessarily close. I also tried using online friend apps but it wasnt really for me. does anyone have any advice what I can do?
Comments
I’d like to imagine it’s easier in the US then in a third or second world country. But I guess not, when everyone’s the same race as you, and there’s a natural cohesion among mono-race countries.
You should join international student events, where international students from all around the world connect.
You’re trying too hard. Americans bond over time not deep talks on day one. Just show up chill and let the connection grow naturally.
Does your college have a Filipino student organization or club? Or maybe an Asian & Pacific Islander club? Most major universities have something like that where you might be able to make some friends based on a shared culture. From there, those friends may introduce you to other friends etc
You are not awkward you are just learning a whole new way to connect. Keep showing up ask questions and let time build the closeness you are craving.