i can tell that people with low sex drives or asexual people find me disgusting.
it must be so nice being able to forgo the disgusting act that is sex, i hate that because of biological programming im forced to satisfy any sexual thoughts or desires. i hate it i hate it i hate it.
the only reason sex is around is for humanity to procreate. other than that it has brought me nothing but shame and misery.
if someone that my stupid male brain finds attractive walks past me, sometimes i cant help but picture them in a sexual or risque scenario, i know, i am a degenerate. i would blame it on being male but that excuse has been used to justify so much violence and abuse against women i cant in good faith blame it on having xy chromosomes.
im jealous that a womans attraction is primarly influenced by gestures or emotional connection. it destroys me inside knowing that all male sterotypes can be applied to me, im no better than the average porn addict or a man that objectifies those who the deem attractive.
this isnt a hate piece on women; throughout history they have been persecuted, abused, objectified, and they are justified in feeling what they do about men. im just jealous that i as a man truly do have sexual desires.
i really do wish i was asexual. i know thats ignorant to actual asexuals who struggle with connection and libido but ideally i would be free from the shackles that is sex. i would be able to see the world through the lens of someone who isnt a creep.
all its ever done is brought me shame and hate.
Comments
Aww. I know of a very asexual girl who hangs out with the coomers on 4chan and has normal friendships and chats with them over shared fandom interests. Not all aces hate regular peeps. Good luck accepting yourself in the future.
you’re carrying a lot of shame over something that’s just a natural part of being human. having sexual thoughts doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s what you do with them that matters. maybe some of this is coming from deeper feelings about self-worth or how you see yourself in relation to others, and it could help to talk it through with someone you trust (or even a therapist if that’s an option). you’re not alone in this, and you’re not broken.
If you are feeling a lot of shame related to these thoughts, is it possible that you are experiencing some type of OCD (im not a professional so cant diagnose)? As long as you are kind to women around you and understand that we live in a patriarchal society that persecutes women — you’re already better than many of the stereotypical men that objectify women without feeling any remorse.
If you treat everyone normally and aren’t saying perverted things and they’re just thoughts, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It could be because of societal conditioning and you don’t actually find every single woman sexually attractive, you may just be having intrusive thoughts. Your emotions and stress surrounding this sound very similar to OCD or a result of some sort of trauma and it is important to understand the root. I hope you consider speaking to a professional about this to alleviate your shame
Having self awareness is atleast a respectable effort. It’s okay hun. 🌻🧡