(19M here)
This is basically the source of my debilitating depression. I have always been a shy, awkward introverted guy with no friends. Basically wasted my teen years away on my own in my room. I was depressed massively because of it.
When I entered college, that was still the case. However, in the past few months, I’ve changed massively, and have become much more like the person I’ve always wanted to be. I changed my style, started taking more risks, became 1000x more outgoing and my hobbies automatically changed accordingly.
However, people still look at me as the weak shy pathetic guy. I share more interests with the “cool guys” at uni, and yet cant break into their circle because to them Im still the person I was when uni started. The same goes for everyone. For this reason, I still have no friends. I’m so anxious to go to uni because I don’t get along with my old acquaintances at all but cant make any new friends. I have nothing against my initial uni “friends” but they remind me of my past self and I feel miserable when Im hanging out with them.
I’m honestly just tired of my life.
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Don’t worry about making friends. Just keep improving yourself, being happy and people will gravitate towards you. Something I wish I could tell my 19 year old self is to not take things so seriously. Good things happen when you work hard and just relax about the outcome.
There are plenty of other people at uni you can be friends with, anyway. So don’t be wanting their approval.