Saw a video where someone was recording their workout and walked up to a random in the middle of their workout to give them a complement on their tattoo. The person looked disturbed and simply said “okay” before continuing with their workout. Normal interaction, get on with your day and keep it pushing right? Nope the person in the video proceeded to rescind their complement and then the comment section went ballistic hurling every insult under the sun because the person didn’t want to be bothered by a random stranger.
If you walk up to a random person and try to spark up a conversation they don’t have to talk to you. It’s not weird to not want to talk to you and randomly bothering strangers and labeling them as rude if they don’t want to engage with you is an extremely western, particularly American, concept.
The amount of people that don’t understand this is dumbfounding and the legit anger and hate that people have for someone who simply doesn’t want to be bothered by them is crazy. There were legit people claiming that you owe somebody a response if they decide to talk to you since they were “just being nice” or you owe someone a thank you if they give you a complement.
If you only do what you consider nice things for a dopamine hit, then you’re not a nice person. If you can’t handle not getting the societally scripted reaction, then don’t bother random strangers.
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agreed. dont talk to me if im out and about. chances are, im doing something and you being in my way is slowing me down. rude as frick. get out of my way and be quiet.
A compliment isn’t small talk. They were supposed to say “thank you” and then continue with the workout lol.
We’re all humans sharing this earth and living this life at this one particular moment in time, we should be able to share a few words with one another without being forceful. A nod, a smile, a wink… idk acknowledge that the other human being exists.
But if you want to be rude that’s fine, the small talker should have just walked away then.
Tattoo guy was probably annoyed by the guy recording in the gym and potentially using other gymgoers for „content“. I too might have just said „OK“, wondering how I might end up on his fitfluencer channel.
Number of people*
Both are rude imo. It’s not strange to start up random conversations with strangers but there is a time and a place. I think if someone does say something nice to you it does warrant a thank you, it doesn’t take much effort just to reply thank you instead of okay.
A compliment given with the intent that it should lead to something else is not a true compliment. If it was a true compliment it would have been enough small talk after that.
I think this is not be super controversial tho.
You are correct, you don’t owe anyone your time to small talk.
However, your reaction to this will still determine whether you are rude or not.
Agree 100%. Have my downvote.
It’s more often than not, okay to compliment someone you don’t know if done in a polite way.
It’s rarely okay to just respond with “okay” to said polite compliment. It’s standoffish, which is a bad trait.
This is all about context, though. Yeah, it is rude to just try and talk to people when they’re obviously busy, like at the gym or running errands or even if they look like they might be having a terrible day. However, if you are making small talk in the break room with a coworker, or on break from a class, I honestly see it as trying to bond with someone you will be spending a lot of time with. So again, a lot of this has to do with context. I wouldn’t be able to talk to any of my coworkers had we not gotten the small talk out of the way and tested the waters first, but we did and now we do chat.
I think it might have been the being filmed part that the person working out had a problem with. If it was a true compliment and said off screen maybe their reaction would have been different. But being used for content can obviously be annoying.
This should be a popular opinion, not unpopular.
If you’re bothered by minor conversation, there might be an inward look needed.
I think its beyond weird how people are so quick to run and post to social media when a person tries to talk to them in real life. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying to strike up a convo – learn social cues and if the other person isn’t engaging then move along. 🙄
Average Reddit user
Northeastern American here…this is an everywhere else but the Northeast thing. We generally keep to ourselves
To be fair if someone is recording it when they do it, it’s not really a normal interaction in my view, they’re likely doing it for a reaction to then make a video about it.
As with pretty much everything in life, context is the important thing – there are situations where there is an expectation of some social interaction/small talk, and refusing to engage at all would be considered rude.
There are others when going up and trying to talk to someone would be considered rude.
It’s not one or the other, it’s situation dependent. I suppose a gym is one of those places where it’s kind of borderline and different people will have different views on it.
A couple of weeks ago, a guy at the gym walked up to me and introduced himself. It was 4am and I had never talked to him before. We were the only two there. I just said “OK, im going to go back to working out now.” I didn’t say it in a nasty way, but that guy is 100% justified in thinking im a dick. I dont think he was being rude. I just don’t want to talk to anyone that early.
It’s amazing how Americans are usually targeted and labeled negatively whenever someone has a critical opinion about something like a mundane human interaction at the gym, an interaction that is entirely human, probably happens in all human societies, and not particular to the USA.
If you give a compliment expecting to hear “Thank you” then you are the rude person expecting a specific response and your compliment is not true, it is just bait to force interaction. That is not organic or real, and if you have to “take back” your compliment out of pettiness then keep your fake compliments to yourself.
It’s not about ego, it is about not owing anyone your time while on a task to give care to your own self. Anyone feeling you have to stop what you are doing to “reward them” is a self absorbed person who puts their time and “rights” over yours and I personally laugh when their selfish bubbles get popped. Twisting it to look victimized is ridiculous.
as an introvert, this isn’t unpopular. Mods, please remove.
If you’re going up to someone while recording you’re not complimenting them or making small talk, you’re using them for content.
Most people are not going to want to interact while being recorded.
Even without recording, all the response anyone should expect from unsolicited small talk or compliments is basic civility, not conversation.
It isn’t rude to not want small talk. It is rude to act like an alien just tried to abduct you because somebody gave you a compliment. It’s two separate issues.
I hate small talk with strangers. Even though I hate it, I’d still say “hey thanks!” And then move on
I dont want to be recorded by some pathetic influencer, so I probably wouldn’t have been that nice. If they want a show, I will give them one, but they wont like it.
Yeah, that’s what makes me anxious about approaching new people randomly. I can do it just fine but there’s always a twinge of fear at first because you’ll never know the response and I won’t try again if I receive no answer. Everyone gets one chance.
What gets me is, everyone these days ask questions. Constantly. About everything. And if you don’t want to answer someone’s questions, you’re the bad guy basically.
I work retail cashier, I small talk all day but if you come to my counter and don’t say a peep, same here! I understand you probably just need to buy this item, maybe you’re overstimulated, tired, too much on your mind, I’m not here to be your friend! I’m here to check you out and make sure I get the correct change back. I don’t act rude I do my ” hey how are you?” Nothing so I stop too, then I say the total, won’t ask cash or card I just watch your hands, press what I need to and say here’s the receipt, have a good day with a genuine smile. I hope you find the energy to be more talkative if that’s what you are wanting, I hope whatever was so full in your mind can settle. It ain’t about me at work, besides making my money and don’t make my coworkers lives harder by not doing my job! As someone who was shy growing up, I hate when people get upset you’re not as loud as them, like I promise you you don’t want everyone as talkative as you 🙄
This happens all the time working in a coffee shop. I’ll be off the floor, off the clock, reading and with headphones in and I’ll still have multiple random customers come over to me to try to talk to me. I feel like headphones in is the universal signal to please not bother someone.
Downvoted for popular
FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO THINKS THIS OTHER THAN MEEEEE!!!!!!
My gods I wish random people would stop trying to talk to me about random shit I don’t care to talk about. Living in a city is a nightmare, and I live in probably the most introverted city (other than Seattle) in the entire country. I’ve been rejected from strangers when I try and talk to them, but like…..I don’t get mad about it, I don’t leave in a huff, I don’t cry over it, I don’t care THAT much to feel any sort of way about it other than “OK, maybe the next person I talk to will be cool with me talking to them”. Most people though that I reject will outright get pissed about it, they will clap back with name calling, they will start mumbling under their breath, they’ll leave in a huff, or they won’t get the hint at all and still try to invade my space……ESPECIALLY if it’s a man.
And if I try and reject people in front of other people who know me already, the people who know me get offended that I didn’t give my time and attention to said stranger, they get horrified, start thinking in absolutes/hypotheticals and start saying things like “what if that had been you or me instead of them?, what if they are extremely lonely? What if everyone did that?, “nobody is an island, socializing is healthy!”. I don’t lie when asked those questions/respond to those kinds of statements. The only people that know me are my co-workers and my roommates and I don’t actually care what they think about me outside of being able to get along well enough to keep my job/keep a roof over my head.
That sounds awful to most people, even I feel a little guilty, but I also know for a fact that being around most people makes me miserable to the point that it causes me severe mental health issues, I know that almost everyone that has come into my life has abused me in some way and I would rather not let anyone have the opportunity to do that to me ever again and I also know myself well enough to know that I have been a very avid people pleaser in my past (thanks childhood abandonment issues!) and it has invited all sorts of trauma and chaos in my life as a result. By my calculations, I should try to keep my social interactions very surface level and do them sparingly and so far I am a hell of a lot happier now than I was when I was trying to be a social butterfly. I literally have had 0 friends for the past 3 years, I have been single 8 out of the past 9 years, I have no regrets about that whatsoever. I have my 2 cats, I’m good with that lol.
I’m not ruling out being social all together, I like being social to an extent, but the small talk, random talk about things that I have no interest in, and all the past chaos/trauma I have experienced makes me extremely picky in my interactions these days.
I’ve never agreed with anyone more than I do right now. Take my humble upvote, sir or madam.
I can only speak for my part of Canada but I feel like this is one of those things where the cultural contrast between us and the neighbours is stark. The only people Ive ever had do a cold approach (outside of venues where it’s welcome and expected) are either medically bonkers and on a rant or lonely neurodivergent guys, and I think even most of the latter knows better than to do so to someone they haven’t clocked as one of them.
You`re right here. And sadly I am usually the one, who doesn`t like small talk.
Being polite is just SUCH a struggle!! Imagine… HUMAN INTERACTION!!! 🤮
There’s definitely a difference between interpersonal rudeness, and aversion to published interactions.
People need to realize that, when someone is busy, at work, or concentrating on something, that is NOT the time to make small talk. It’s rude to interrupt. Even if you have a valid opening for conversation, the other person is allowed not to be in the mood. If the small-talker gets huffy about not receiving attention, they’re the rude one, no question.
Feels like you’re kinda missing the major problem with this. The “small talk” is not the problem here.
Nah, it’s more nuanced than that. It depends on the persons approach and delivery. Most people are in first person mode and never take into consideration if someone: looks approachable, is receptive to your advances, and reciprocates. They’re too myopic to understand that because their needs is all that matters.
couple weeks ago some guy at work wanted to talk the whole time, then got snippy and tried to give “advice” about being friendly because I wasn’t interested in talking.
If someone came up to me recording for content to comment on my body or tats I’d tell them they were about to get hit if they didn’t turn it off, walk away, and do so politely, exactly once.
Meanwhle you can walk up to me whenever you want not recording or with a camera and I’ll sit down if I can and talk to you about anything you want. People need to learn not everyone wants to be content.
Eh, even Americans hate it. Usually, it’s people who think they’re rhebcenter of attention that get aggressive like that. They do tend to thrive in America because people are too nervous to hit them like they should (metaphorically only physically if they’re getting too much)
I was walking down the street yesterday, had my headphones on and was in a hurry to get somewhere. A guy in his car passing me buy slows down and is visibly trying to get my attention – waving at me, smiling. I just looked at him, turned away and then proceeded to mind my business. I really didn’t feel like pausing my music and taking off my headphones to hear some cliche pickup line… On the traffic light he was turning right and he mouthed “fuck you bitch” passing me by…. Not exactly the same, but along the same line of people not getting the hint when others are just not interested in engaging with them… I was somehow the bitch in this story, by simply not wanting to be bothered by a rando in a car, shouting at me in the middle of the street…
Ok, so the person he complimented does seem a little rude and stand-offish. I’ll say that much.
But at the same time… they’re working out. They probably don’t want some random jackass walking up, filming them and chatting with them while they’re just trying to go a sweat going.
I’m sorry, but this weird thing where people these days treat everyone else like props for their videos is out of hand. It’s really fucking creepy. And it’s even creepier how many terminally-online people bend over backwards to try and justify it. And it’s just creating new fears and phobias for a lot of people with disabilities and anxiety disorders.
As for the small-talk issue. I don’t think it’s rude to not want to engage in small-talk. But unless you have some sort-of psychiatric disorder or severe social anxiety, you need to be able to communicate that in a constructive way or else you are rude.
Just say “Hey, sorry… I’m trying to focus” or “Hey, I don’t want to be rude, but I’ve had a long day and just wanna listen to music and focus on [Task].” Most reasonable people will understand that. And if they don’t, they’re the rude ones.
I’m on the spectrum and I have to do that a lot, especially at the end of the night, or after work when I wind down.
If you’re bothered then you’re the fragile one.
You can call it “rude”. I call it “true”.
People are often bothered by the truth. Most would rather smash the mirror then look into it.
You can all shove your cameras where the sun don’t shine
I have funny experiences with this. I come from an annoying family. To get away from them as a child, I learned how to read and often read during family gatherings. As an adult, I have a taste for reading in very public (and often very loud) places. Often I’ll post up at the bar of the restaurant I work at with a book or notebook. And a significant portion of the time, people take this as an invitation to make conversation. And a significant portion of those inquiries I blow off and come off as a little rude.
I am very much this way, I do not like small talk in general.
Hate it when people try to do it to you in a line like for the grocery store or when you’re buying something and you can tell the clerk is forced to talk to you.
I generally respond with small not rude answers like yes and no and no thank you And to be fair many of them get the hint and leave me alone, some don’t.
Was just grocery shopping yesterday and the clerk was trying to sell a bakery item.
She was very friendly and talkative and I responded with short but courteous responses and told her no thank you.
I asked her to make sure I got the seniors discount which is given out on the first Wednesday of the month and she smiled and said sure no problem, what she said next I could not believe, “since you saved so much money you can afford to get this bakery item that’s on special!” she stopped and looked at me expectedly, I seriously could not believe it!
I looked at her, looked down at the bakery item for the first time and simply responded a little more blunt and firm than I may have liked, “again no thank you I detest pineapple upside down cake” she gave me a confused smile and said okay and handed me my receipt.
By the time I get to the car I was a bit grumpy but quickly got over it.
If you think me avoiding small talk and a empty compliment given while there’s a camera in my face is rude, Ill happily show you what rude is.
I don’t think this is unpopular. I am often polite, but prefer silence to small talk. I don’t engage fully but will politely respond with answers or a smile if someone begins the small talk, however, this is usually at a gas pump/grocery line or something with limited interaction for a small amount of time. At a gym, I may be polite, but I wouldn’t fully engage. I’m not there to chat.
It’s not small talk if cameras are on, with the intention of posting it online. That’s a trap.
Yea but that isn’t small talk. That is a compliment which I completely agree people aren’t required to give a big long thank you to
Yeah, people are too entitled sometimes to respect basic boundaries.
Totally disagree, the world where a person can’t be bothered to simply say “thanks, have a nice day” before moving on is a shitty place.
I’ve been told I’m rude because I don’t want to make small talk.
Yeah people are weird. Just be quiet sometimes, you know?
It’s not an unpopular opinion – the only reason people agreed with that poster was because it was probably their followers on their feed
If something like that was posted in a neutral place like here on Reddit, I’m sure the influencer would be the one getting pilloried
I can’t wait to visit California where every one pretends like I don’t exist and I can do the same.
Some people really lack social awareness.
A compliment like that should be a drive-by. It’s not a conversation starter.
“Yo, sick tattoo” and keep it moving.
The furthest I’ve personally taken a statement like that was to ask “did you get it done around here/who’s your artist?” That can sometimes lead to a short-lived conversation, but the scenario here definitely sounds like the dude used a compliment as currency to pay for her time.
Why the fuck are we recording in a gym lol. Always the first problem and why I block any and every account doing that
I absolutely agree. As somebody who feels very awkward and can’t socialize properly, small talk is my worst enemy.
As always context matters. I don’t think disturbing people to start a conversation while they’re working out is the right move. Most people don’t want to be bothered during their workout.
However if you’re at a social event and being dismissive of people who approach you for small talk then yes you’re being rude. I’m aware that people aren’t entitled to speak to you, but I have to question what is the point in going to these type of events if you’re not going to interact with people.
Not being able to take a compliment makes you an a hole
Is this small talk? I consider small talk to be conversation where we are going to be occupying the same space with either nothing else to do (ex long lines) or we will be occupying the same space in the near future and need it to not be weird next time (ex coworkers). Forcing a person into an inane conversation when they are obviously doing something is just rude. And I say this as someone who will strike up conversations in a grocery line.
How is this opinion unpopular!
I can’t believe how many up votes you have
Just another byproduct of a toxic freedumb culture. In most of the “west” filming people and presenting them in a bad light online is illegal