If/when you felt like you were lost/aimless/unsure of your direction in life (work, where to live, relationships), how did you find clarity in what you actually wanted? How did it work out for you?
If/when you felt like you were lost/aimless/unsure of your direction in life (work, where to live, relationships), how did you find clarity in what you actually wanted? How did it work out for you?
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In my mid-20s, I felt stuck–living at home, unsure about my career, and constantly second-guessing myself. What pushed me was realizing that comfort was starting to feel like a trap. I didn’t have it all figured out, but I saved what I could, found a small place, and moved out. Gaining that independence forced me to take responsibility for my life, and that gave me clarity. It wasn’t some dramatic transformation, just a slow build of confidence from making decisions on my own. Things are still evolving, but that move was a turning point.
I saw an amazing therapist, she got my head clear while going through my divorce!
I talk to my husband and close friends. I journal about it as writing things out helps me think. Eventually, I’ll talk to my therapis about it. I’ve also learned to live in a space where I don’t always know my direction in life and that is okay.
22-25 i was pretty lost and depressed. Honestly meeting my partner when I was twenty five changed everything and we are pretty close to opening our own business.
Clarity came for me when my younger brother died. Tragedy has a way of shaking you wide awake. All of my excuses for not pursuing what I really want in life became pitiful. When you can lose your life so suddenly like that, why not live it exactly how you want it? When I’m on my deathbed I want to look back on my life fondly and not regret too much. It hasn’t been a year yet that he’s gone, but I’m back on my feet and pursuing my dream of being an author so I can dedicate my first publish to him.
I would just breathe and listen, pay attention to events around me and every time I’d find a door would open for me. I’d follow that path and pay attention to what seemed to be happening right for me. It takes courage to trust, I’d have to be brave to take that big step to change, but it was always right. Usually it was job opportunities, sometimes it was something that surprised me, something I wanted to try but didn’t think I’d ever have the chance. I only have a couple of regrets and it was the roads not taken.
Honestly, I changed my whole mindset. I’m a stay at home mom, going on 8 years. I hated it for the longest time and still question where my life is going. It’s fulfilling enough, but I want more. It’s working now that I’ve made it a whole job, something that takes me from when I wake up, to when I fall asleep. It’s ALL THE TIME.
Following because this is exactly where I am in life right now.
I didn’t.
I found that trying the find the right thing to do through introspection quite paralysing.
What is helpful for me is rejecting the idea that there is “right” choice.
There are choices, they send you down different paths, all have good bits and bad bits.
The important thing is to do SOMETHING rather than procrastinate.
I sit down every two week to think and write about the 4 following questions:
Doing this regularly helps me find patterns and reconsider if what I’ve set out at the beginning of the year still feels important to me. It helps me see who are the people, activities, goals, that have brought me pride, joy, love. It helps me see that some questions come and go and don’t really plague me that much eventually, whilst others are recurrent and I should take the time to look into them.
Alternatives of that from a few friends of mine:
Hope this helps!
I’ve best found clarity by figuring out what I DIDN’T want, moved away from those things and it led me closer to figuring out what I did want.
Sometimes that meant I had to sit with something I didn’t want for a while (bad job, bad friendships, bad relationships) before I found that clarity and moved away from it.
Reminding myself to be grateful and understanding that, even though things are not what I want them to be, everything is still okay… that has calmed the anxiety enough to be able to see the situation from a different perspective.
Just watched “Stutz” the documentary and it helped too. It might feel a bit dense but I needed some reminders like, for example: there are three inevitable aspects of reality: 1. Pain never goes away, 2. uncertainty never goes away and 3. You can’t run from the necessity of doing constant work. Everyone lives like this, no matter what.
There’s other wisdom nuggets like being in a grateful flow, radically accepting yourself and your reality… It really is a must watch if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Hope this helps.
Meditation practice. It worked out so that I always came out on top of any difficult situation or hurdle. I found that I know better what to do, what I want, and the risk level of things when my mind is quiet.
I schedule thinking times, and sit as a separate watcher/guide of my thoughts, and use meditation skills learned over the years to quiet my mind if it starts thinking when I cannot be free to keep separated from thoughts and be a witness to them.
When I was first learning I read a lot of Buddhist articles and books to help me keep the willpower to keep practicing.
After my divorce my life was flipped upside down. I was really struggling with what to do next. A great friend told me to start at the last place I was happy. Not necessarily a physical place but put yourself in that mindset then move from there.
For me I realized I didn’t enjoy living in a large city, I was happier in a smaller town. I looked at a few places that were affordable to me. I ended up in a mid size city with a manageable cost of living.
I decided dating apps and dating in general was not for me so I stopped looking for a relationship, one ended up happening but it formed from casual conversations not from pursuing a relationship.
I made some other decisions about my job, my relationships with family, and religion as well. I just looked at each aspect and thought about the last time I felt good about that thing. Either successful, or hopefull, or excited basically something positive. I didn’t end up going back to the exact situations at all but just built a life that intentionally had what made me happy in it.
I eat a bunch of mushrooms, have a good cry, and let life take its course. It’s always worked out for me.
Do the best you can. Just the next “right” thing for you.