If you flirted by messages with other people and never told your SO would you consider that cheating? If not than why and if yes than also why?
If you flirted by messages with other people and never told your SO would you consider that cheating? If not than why and if yes than also why?
r/AskWomen
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Yes. Any behavior you feel you need to hide from your SO is problematic as long as they are a normal person and aren’t crazy jealous, possessive or manipulative. Also, imo flirting is cheating.
Yes, doing something you wouldn’t do in front of your partner because you know it’s not okay = cheating. That’s crossing a basic relationship boundary. Flirting = infidelity unless your partner has said to you it’s acceptable.
Yes that’s cheating. You literally specified flirting on text that’s cheating. If you are hiding it on purpose then deep down you know it’s cheating too
Yes, it is cheating and you are being dishonest.
Yes.
Maybe not “cheating” but a major betrayal of trust nonetheless
Yes. Hiding flirtatious behavior from a partner would be crossing our agreed upon boundaries, so that would be cheating in my relationship. Being dishonest and hiding something like that from a partner would also be a deal breaker to me automatically.
I’d say yes because you’re still opening up the idea that you’re considering cheating. And your SO would be hurt if they knew what you were doing.
If I have to hide it, it’s probably cheating. Flirting isn’t always physical, but the secrecy says a lot.
Flirting is cheating. I don’t care if it happens in text, call, face to face or in his dreams.
I feel like there’s some room for nuance. Like there’s friendly/fun flirting which I would consider just a big ol nothingburger and then there’s flirting with some danger behind it which I would consider cheating. I also think there is a difference between just not telling a SO about something and hiding something from them.
Yes. It’s cheating. If you won’t show something to your SO I think it’s cheating.
My friend is a therapist and he’s convinced cell phones and social media is a threat to society because of how easy it makes it to cheat.
If you have to hide you behaviour from your partner, and it doesn’t benefit your partner to do it (like a surprise party), then it is probably not something you should be doing.
Yes. Flirting is either because you want to be romantic w someone, or you want their attention in a romantic way. Both aren’t okay if you’re in a relationship
I think it’s definitely a form of emotional cheating imo. I get that a lot of people like to be a little flirty. For me, that’s fine depending on the circumstance. But to seek it out, invite it, or allow it to continue in some way is a break of that boundary. It’s disrespectful to the relationship. Generally, if it’s something you would hide from your partner, it’s wrong.
You shouldn’t hide things from your partner (unless they are controlling, jealous, abusive etc.), I would consider it cheating.
No, because I’m not monogamous and he knows.
Yeah…that’s going to depend.
Am I having flirty banter with a long-established friend? Then no, that’s simply the way I talk to people I’m comfortable with.
Am I flirting using a ton of innuendo with somebody I just met? Then yes, I would say it’s problematic. I personally would not engage in that type of chatter when I was in a relationship
You’re not going to get many “no’s” here.
Btw….yes
I think it would depend on the boundaries of your specific relationship, and how hardcore flirty the messages were, but in general anything you feel the need to hide from your partner should always lead to a serious discussion. If you’re worried that your partner will find out something, then that’s a pretty good indicator you’re aware you probably shouldn’t have done it and your partner wouldn’t be happy about it.
However, it could also be the case you’re unsure how your partner would react and are afraid of said reaction will be negative. Communication and honesty is crucial here.
Different relationships have different boundaries (some are fine with straight-up fucking other people), but in my monogamous relationship, this would never be okay. Not the same as having sex with someone, but still on the cheating spectrum, in my opinion.
Yes. Why?
Doing it and hiding it from your SO implies you know they woudn’t be ok with that, therefore breaking their trust.
Being faithful is a choice you make. It is a choice you do to let the door open or to barricade it. And when you choose to leave the door open, by flirting, you are not making the choice to be faithfull. So… you’re cheating.
When you are faithfull, you normally want to build and make sure you’ll never loose the trust of your SO. This require to avoid situations that are ambiguous and be straight foward to your partner when you can’t avoid it. By flirting, on purpose AND hiding it, you are putting yourself up for cheating.
Hope this helps 😉
Yes! Flirting while in a relationship is cheating!
YES. That is cheating. Unless you have some prior agreement.
No… Cus I know my SO wouldn’t consider it cheating nor have an issue with it. He knows how I am and communicate, he’s completely OK with me flirting with people in person too – to the point he’d probably like if I allowed it more.
I also know I have no romantic intention when I’m being flirty (and I should note maybe it can be said I’m not flirting since there isn’t romantic intention/sexual connotation or implications/titillation)… Like, it’s quite clear even if I say flirtatious things, that nothing is going to happen. I’m not leading anyone on. I also have my own boundaries as to what I say/communicate with others even if/when being flirty. Again, my SO knows this… So me flirting just wouldn’t fall under our definition/understanding of cheating and inappropriate/unacceptable behaviours.
No on cheating, still a big ass dealbreaker. If you’re intentionally hiding something from your spouse it’s breaking trust. Once I don’t trust you- what’s the point?
I’m in sales. Some of my customers flirt. My husband knows this. We laugh at them together. That isn’t cheating. It also isn’t breaking trust because I’m insanely transparent about it.
Anything that I am doing that feels shady enough to hide from my partner, I’d consider cheating or atleast lying. And that’s not something I’ll do or accept in a relationship
yes cheating and dishonesty.
put it this way: if i would be uncomfortable showing the messages to my husband, it’s inappropriate
(specifically in regards to flirting, not like every message i send or anything)
Mmm, I don’t think so. Sometimes it’s just about having a little fun!
No, my partner and I only consider cheating to be penetration. Anything else is fine
If you are being sneaky about something and purposefully keeping it a secret from your SO then it is cheating. Flirting is cheating regardless.
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