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I would be really sad because I would do anything to hold little versions of them. I get emotional just thinking about it. HOWEVER, it’s their lives to live as they see fit, and I will support them no matter what.
My adult daughter is a definite no and my adult son seems unlikely. If they change their mind, I support them. If they don’t, I will still cherish my relationship with them and will also have more time for travel and other activities.
When my children have grandchildren I will probably be dead so DGAF. That said, I’m Irish, we mostly have all boys, and have 2 grandsons now so there’s literally no chance of that. 🙂
Not exactly a question directed at me, as I am not my parents. But, I did let them know I do not want to have kids. It’s just not my caper. I don’t feel like it’s a need.
I guess it would be interesting, maybe fun, and nice to see the continuation and the relationships, but ultimately, it is really going to be his choice. It’s a huge thing. There’s zero chance I would interfere in that decision.
No kids of my own but very close to my neices. My sister and I support their reproductive choices but we would have loved to see the next generation. When they were young it was the absolute best years of our lives and we didn’t even know it. Secondly, we would have liked the chance to see their children give them the same angst they gave us 😎!
It’s my reality. Kind of depressing but also not my decision. I’ve got a niece with kids she should never have had. That’s depressing too. Still, I’ve always believed there are too many people in the world so there’s that.
My children make their own decisions. I support their choices and understand why they don’t want to bring children into our increasingly uncertain world.
I’m a little sad, but I’ve devoted almost a whole life to reproductive choice, so it would be hypocritical for me to insist on insisting on grandchildren.
I hold out hope my daughter will be a foster mother and have a foster child who is neurospicy and pansexual, like their mom!
It’s becoming increasingly unlikely I will have any grandchildren.
My oldest daughter mentioned that she wished her mother would stop talking about grandkids because it isn’t going to happen. I told her that I very much like spending time around young children and miss it. Society doesn’t much like old men hanging around kids that they aren’t related to and her mom has similar feelings. So maybe she could just let us have our hopes that one day, maybe…
I suggested maybe my daughter could just let us have it and not instantly shoot it down every time but I’ll stop talking about it but can’t do anything about her mom.
My eldest child is a trans woman. My youngest is non-binary. Neither have any interest in procreating, and I’m overjoyed. The genetics I inherited from my parents gave me three autoimmune disorders, asthma, horrible allergies, and bone problems. My bloodline dying out will be of net benefit for the human race.
Besides, it’s not like either of them will be able to afford to raise children these days. My eldest is working on how to get out of the country to somewhere that’s safe for her to just exist.
Well, it’s likely only going to happen from my son. My daughter is gay and has no interest in children. I’m not really sure, I’m indifferent about it. If he decides to have kids, I hope he gets as much enjoyment and love as I do from him. I love that guy so much.
Only one of my three has any interest in having kids, but it still makes me a little sad the other two won’t have families.
I do genealogy as a hobby, and the saddest branches of the family tree are the ones that just…end. You tend to not find as much information on those people, and they just kind of disappear.
When I went back generation upon generation and realize how many people had to meet and have kids to get to the point where I were born, it made me feel a sense of gratitude and responsibility to their legacies and want to continue them.
I’d like to hope my kids thought that way, but I don’t think they do. People are too into instant gratification and don’t want to look to the future beyond themselves.
Not my decision to make. I want my children to live the lives they want to live. The last people who deserve to be grandparents are people who coerce their kids into being parents.
There are some people who try to suggest that you’d be alone in old age if you don’t have kids. Those are the exact people who end up alone even if they do have kids. Don’t be gross to other people, especially not your children.
From a biological standpoint, I’d be somewhat upset my genetic history/line died out, and socially I’d be disappointed my values wouldn’t continue to be transmitted.
But childbearing should always be an enthusiastic desire, one someone is certain of. I knew I wanted kids at 7. My 11 year old states they never want kids. It’s their choice. And as for values, you don’t need a genetic connection to pass them on.
Absolutely fine either way. I just hope they’re both happy. My 11 year old is currently really into reborn dolls and various routines but worries she won’t want children as I was a tomboy and my sister liked dolls but isn’t having any children. It makes me chuckle that she latches on so much to her anecdotal information as I doubt history would throw up any girls who liked dolls grow up to not want children. I love watching them grow up and can’t wait to see who they become as adults but if either of them want to swerve motherhood it will be fine with me.
I have one living child, a daughter who is 37. She has chosen not to have children, nor to marry her partner. I’m absolutely fine with her decisions. I never had the expectation of being a grandmother. I didn’t have a child as a means of fulfilling my dreams through another person, something I believe is especially unfair.
I’m very happily childless, but if any of my nieces and nephews decide to have kids or not, it’s no difference to me. I would be happy for them either way of course.
My daughter doesn’t want children. She has very good health-based reasons. It saddens me that she won’t experience the things I have loved so much when I became her parent, but I’m absolutely in support of her.
I wanted to slap a phlebotomist (a total lunatic) who told my daughter she would change her mind when her future husband would want kids. Fuck you lady, she’s not breeding stock for any man!
We had children later, so I doubt I would live long enough to even know if either of my kids would have grandkids. They’re also both leaning toward not having children themselves, so potentially a moot point.
I would hope they’d feel the same as us, however, should they decide to have kids. And just want their kids to choose the best lives for themselves and make their own choices.
Meh, it is their lives to live. We taught them everything that they need to survive and excel at their chosen carrers. As long as they are happy and not doing anything illegal, then we are happy.
I’m not old enough to start thinking about this (not sure why Reddit even suggested this post in my feed, it doesn’t really match my interests in any way), but here’s my 2 cents.
I wanted kids. I love my children. I’d love grandkids someday. But if my kids have kids, I won’t be the one responsible for those children on a day to day basis. I won’t be the one raising them. Why should my opinion or desire for grandkids matter at all?
As of now neither of my children want to have children. I’m fine with whatever they decide. It’s their life to live, not mine. I just want them to be happy.
I wouldn’t have cared. At all. But that was before I had any idea how much joy grandkids bring to one’s life. Now- I’m all about my grandkids. They’re about the best thing in my life.
My daughter is 29 and a few years married. She and SIL go back and forth about whether they will have children or not. I can only support whatever they ultimately decide.
It’s something that DNA testing teaches you quickly- your personal genes get quickly scattered as the generations move on, it’s only vanity that means you give a shit (and pure survival) about whoever comes next. It isn’t really that important genetically, my very own genes live on in thousands of people already.
Worse than not having grandkids would be to see my kids go through what I did- having kids with the wrong person, being a single parent, struggling.
I don’t want that for my kids. I want better. So if better means I don’t have grandkids, that’s okay.
I do have three beautiful grandkids from my step son and I love them so much. Of course, I’d also like to see what genes my bio kids pass down. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.
My kids’ choices to have kids or not are for them to make, not me. I had them, and I tried my best to be a decent mom. I did my bit. I won’t say I don’t care what they choose, but I don’t think my wishes should be a major factor in that decision.
Being a Mimi is so fucking awesome, 2 of my 3 daughters probably won’t have kids and I’m cool with it but I’d love a house full. 2 so far and it’s the greatest joy
Most of those responding are not answering the question.
I have total respect for my children’s right to their own reproductive decisions.
Grandkids are a source of positive vibes, unconditional love and an additional means to stay close and relevant to kids. I didn’t ask for them but not having them would suck.
I want whatever descendants I have to be happy and be able to live the lives they choose. If that does not involve continually producing babies to entertain me, I’ll just have to find some other entertainment.
The genes i have, which I would like to be passed on, are unlikely to be unique. Most likely the genes I have are scattered amongst plenty of other humans and will all be passed on in various combinations.
My son has already told me that he and his fiancée are not going to have children. I’m fine with that. I think they need to live their lives in the way that’s best for them. If they are happy, so am I. I’ve never felt the need to be a grandparent like a lot of my friends have.
I’m more curious to know about Grandparents that get no choice in becoming Grandparents.
We automatically assume that they want to be but do they really?
Most of the Grans and Gramps I know are pretty hands off. They don’t even holiday with the kids. They are not present at all really in these kids lives.
I was really, truly hoping my son and his horrid wife would never have children. This is a horrible world I wouldn’t wish on anybody, and I would not wish my in-laws or anybody like them (my DIL and her entire family) on an innocent child.
Maybe one day, she will be old enough to start asking questions about her paternal grandparents and when she’s old enough to make her own choices, she will seek us out.
30 years ago I’d have predicted feeling like my Disney fairytale dreams of happily ever after and grandchildren would be dashed. It’s much more complicated in the reality of grown children and actual grandchildren.
One of my kids had two still-little kids with two moms, with another 4 kids with another 3 dads in the picture. The first mom hung herself when she went off her meds a few years ago. The parents are all addicts with mental health problems and criminal records. Sad situation for the kids including my grandkids, neither of whom will ever have a stable home. This year they are play-acting being daddy overdosed with his head hanging off the couch and being an EMT trying to revive him.
Another isn’t sure she wants kids in her mid-30’s. What makes her happy makes me happy. I figure I get more quality grownup time with her the way things are, i.e. no grandkids. And another hasn’t talked to me much since her mom and I divorced 20 years ago, so unless having kids magically makes her want to reconnect, I just wish her and her husband the best with or without kids in their future.
My Son turns 40 next month and he and his wife decided not to have kids. His Dad just passed and it’s the 1st time him not having kids gave me a twinge. He’s the last one to carry on the their last name. I have a 31 yr old Son (different father) who does have an 8 yr old daughter. She’s my everything and I’m fine with just 1. But if neither wanted kids I might feel a little sad. But then again I’m not sure because I had no idea I’d love being a Grandma this much.
My younger son wants to have a family. I’m hoping that happens for him, he would be an amazing father. His college friends are getting married and he’s grown tired of the dating scene. Time is still well on his side from my perspective but not necessarily his.
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I would be devastated!
That’s fine with me.
Fine…no problem .
Upset, lm looking forward to being the best grandpa there is, l had the best and I miss him everyday
My only child an adult female is childless by choice. I don’t feel one way or the other, as an adult she makes her own reproductive choices.
I would be really sad because I would do anything to hold little versions of them. I get emotional just thinking about it. HOWEVER, it’s their lives to live as they see fit, and I will support them no matter what.
I really don’t care either way.
My adult daughter is a definite no and my adult son seems unlikely. If they change their mind, I support them. If they don’t, I will still cherish my relationship with them and will also have more time for travel and other activities.
Their lives, their choice. I want them to be happy with their life choices.
well, id support her…but inside id be sad….
do you mean if my children never have children? honestly it does not bother me ..neither of my sons want children.
my husband and I had children because we wanted them….there is zero expectation for our children to have their own.
Happy they have common sense.
Whatever
When my children have grandchildren I will probably be dead so DGAF. That said, I’m Irish, we mostly have all boys, and have 2 grandsons now so there’s literally no chance of that. 🙂
I would be beyond disappointed.
Not exactly a question directed at me, as I am not my parents. But, I did let them know I do not want to have kids. It’s just not my caper. I don’t feel like it’s a need.
Do you mean if my child never has a child?
I guess it would be interesting, maybe fun, and nice to see the continuation and the relationships, but ultimately, it is really going to be his choice. It’s a huge thing. There’s zero chance I would interfere in that decision.
No kids of my own but very close to my neices. My sister and I support their reproductive choices but we would have loved to see the next generation. When they were young it was the absolute best years of our lives and we didn’t even know it. Secondly, we would have liked the chance to see their children give them the same angst they gave us 😎!
It’s my reality. Kind of depressing but also not my decision. I’ve got a niece with kids she should never have had. That’s depressing too. Still, I’ve always believed there are too many people in the world so there’s that.
My children make their own decisions. I support their choices and understand why they don’t want to bring children into our increasingly uncertain world.
I’m a little sad, but I’ve devoted almost a whole life to reproductive choice, so it would be hypocritical for me to insist on insisting on grandchildren.
I hold out hope my daughter will be a foster mother and have a foster child who is neurospicy and pansexual, like their mom!
It’s becoming increasingly unlikely I will have any grandchildren.
My oldest daughter mentioned that she wished her mother would stop talking about grandkids because it isn’t going to happen. I told her that I very much like spending time around young children and miss it. Society doesn’t much like old men hanging around kids that they aren’t related to and her mom has similar feelings. So maybe she could just let us have our hopes that one day, maybe…
I suggested maybe my daughter could just let us have it and not instantly shoot it down every time but I’ll stop talking about it but can’t do anything about her mom.
I would freak the fuck out.
I don’t have children!! Who are these people threatening to keep me from being meemawpoopoogeegaw????
What children?
Only sad for them because I know they wanted children.
My eldest child is a trans woman. My youngest is non-binary. Neither have any interest in procreating, and I’m overjoyed. The genetics I inherited from my parents gave me three autoimmune disorders, asthma, horrible allergies, and bone problems. My bloodline dying out will be of net benefit for the human race.
Besides, it’s not like either of them will be able to afford to raise children these days. My eldest is working on how to get out of the country to somewhere that’s safe for her to just exist.
I don’t care at all. I’m not waiting or hoping for grandchildren. I hope my kids grow up to live fulfilling lives whatever that looks like for them.
Well, it’s likely only going to happen from my son. My daughter is gay and has no interest in children. I’m not really sure, I’m indifferent about it. If he decides to have kids, I hope he gets as much enjoyment and love as I do from him. I love that guy so much.
Only one of my three has any interest in having kids, but it still makes me a little sad the other two won’t have families.
I do genealogy as a hobby, and the saddest branches of the family tree are the ones that just…end. You tend to not find as much information on those people, and they just kind of disappear.
When I went back generation upon generation and realize how many people had to meet and have kids to get to the point where I were born, it made me feel a sense of gratitude and responsibility to their legacies and want to continue them.
I’d like to hope my kids thought that way, but I don’t think they do. People are too into instant gratification and don’t want to look to the future beyond themselves.
Not my decision to make. I want my children to live the lives they want to live. The last people who deserve to be grandparents are people who coerce their kids into being parents.
There are some people who try to suggest that you’d be alone in old age if you don’t have kids. Those are the exact people who end up alone even if they do have kids. Don’t be gross to other people, especially not your children.
From a biological standpoint, I’d be somewhat upset my genetic history/line died out, and socially I’d be disappointed my values wouldn’t continue to be transmitted.
But childbearing should always be an enthusiastic desire, one someone is certain of. I knew I wanted kids at 7. My 11 year old states they never want kids. It’s their choice. And as for values, you don’t need a genetic connection to pass them on.
Yeah, privately sad but I’d deal/get over it.
Absolutely fine either way. I just hope they’re both happy. My 11 year old is currently really into reborn dolls and various routines but worries she won’t want children as I was a tomboy and my sister liked dolls but isn’t having any children. It makes me chuckle that she latches on so much to her anecdotal information as I doubt history would throw up any girls who liked dolls grow up to not want children. I love watching them grow up and can’t wait to see who they become as adults but if either of them want to swerve motherhood it will be fine with me.
I have one living child, a daughter who is 37. She has chosen not to have children, nor to marry her partner. I’m absolutely fine with her decisions. I never had the expectation of being a grandmother. I didn’t have a child as a means of fulfilling my dreams through another person, something I believe is especially unfair.
I don’t even have cildren. No concern about grandchildren.
I’m very happily childless, but if any of my nieces and nephews decide to have kids or not, it’s no difference to me. I would be happy for them either way of course.
My daughter doesn’t want children. She has very good health-based reasons. It saddens me that she won’t experience the things I have loved so much when I became her parent, but I’m absolutely in support of her.
I wanted to slap a phlebotomist (a total lunatic) who told my daughter she would change her mind when her future husband would want kids. Fuck you lady, she’s not breeding stock for any man!
We had children later, so I doubt I would live long enough to even know if either of my kids would have grandkids. They’re also both leaning toward not having children themselves, so potentially a moot point.
I would hope they’d feel the same as us, however, should they decide to have kids. And just want their kids to choose the best lives for themselves and make their own choices.
My two girls didn’t. It didn’t bother me.
Honestly don’t care either way.
Free
It’s fine. It’s whatever they want.
Meh, it is their lives to live. We taught them everything that they need to survive and excel at their chosen carrers. As long as they are happy and not doing anything illegal, then we are happy.
I would love to have a grandchild and would love that experience. However, that’s not my decision to make.
I’m not old enough to start thinking about this (not sure why Reddit even suggested this post in my feed, it doesn’t really match my interests in any way), but here’s my 2 cents.
I wanted kids. I love my children. I’d love grandkids someday. But if my kids have kids, I won’t be the one responsible for those children on a day to day basis. I won’t be the one raising them. Why should my opinion or desire for grandkids matter at all?
I would be okay with it.
I don’t care, no matter how many all-caps words you add to your question.
As of now neither of my children want to have children. I’m fine with whatever they decide. It’s their life to live, not mine. I just want them to be happy.
I don’t have kids, so I’m delighted to have less rugrats in my world.
I wouldn’t have cared. At all. But that was before I had any idea how much joy grandkids bring to one’s life. Now- I’m all about my grandkids. They’re about the best thing in my life.
Me and my husband are exhausted atm with a SEN child under 10 and a toddler who won’t sleep and is bleeding us dry in nursery fee’s.
Our eldest has recently been telling us he doesn’t want children. We might finally get a rest.
My children died ages 7 and 9 years old to a drunk driver. There are worse things than not having grandchildren.
my story:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11DgYOavHlM
Relieved. The world is shit.
Dunno. I never had kids myself.
My only son will not marry and have children. I think I will die more easily not having to worry about my grandchildren.
My daughter is 29 and a few years married. She and SIL go back and forth about whether they will have children or not. I can only support whatever they ultimately decide.
It’s not my life.
I thought that would be my case. My daughter reached 37 with no kids.
It only really bothered me because she had said she wanted kids, but she had other pursuits and a happy adult life.
Suddenly she’s pregnant and has no doubts about wanting the baby. I’m ecstatic.
But it was always her choice to make.
I don’t have kids. So…
It’s up to my grandkids what they want to do.
It’s something that DNA testing teaches you quickly- your personal genes get quickly scattered as the generations move on, it’s only vanity that means you give a shit (and pure survival) about whoever comes next. It isn’t really that important genetically, my very own genes live on in thousands of people already.
I want grandchildren, but only on their terms.
Worse than not having grandkids would be to see my kids go through what I did- having kids with the wrong person, being a single parent, struggling.
I don’t want that for my kids. I want better. So if better means I don’t have grandkids, that’s okay.
I do have three beautiful grandkids from my step son and I love them so much. Of course, I’d also like to see what genes my bio kids pass down. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.
My kids’ choices to have kids or not are for them to make, not me. I had them, and I tried my best to be a decent mom. I did my bit. I won’t say I don’t care what they choose, but I don’t think my wishes should be a major factor in that decision.
Being a Mimi is so fucking awesome, 2 of my 3 daughters probably won’t have kids and I’m cool with it but I’d love a house full. 2 so far and it’s the greatest joy
Not my life. It’s completely up to them whether or not they have children.
I would feel pretty weird since I’m not planning on having children of my own
Most of those responding are not answering the question.
I have total respect for my children’s right to their own reproductive decisions.
Grandkids are a source of positive vibes, unconditional love and an additional means to stay close and relevant to kids. I didn’t ask for them but not having them would suck.
That’s likely, in my case.
I want whatever descendants I have to be happy and be able to live the lives they choose. If that does not involve continually producing babies to entertain me, I’ll just have to find some other entertainment.
The genes i have, which I would like to be passed on, are unlikely to be unique. Most likely the genes I have are scattered amongst plenty of other humans and will all be passed on in various combinations.
My son has already told me that he and his fiancée are not going to have children. I’m fine with that. I think they need to live their lives in the way that’s best for them. If they are happy, so am I. I’ve never felt the need to be a grandparent like a lot of my friends have.
Disappointed.
Having children is a great experience that helps you grow too.
It’s their life, if they choose not to have kids, so be it.
But I hope for their sake they do have kids.
I don’t expect to be around long enough to know whether they have grandchildren, so I don’t have any feelings about it.
I’m more curious to know about Grandparents that get no choice in becoming Grandparents.
We automatically assume that they want to be but do they really?
Most of the Grans and Gramps I know are pretty hands off. They don’t even holiday with the kids. They are not present at all really in these kids lives.
I was really, truly hoping my son and his horrid wife would never have children. This is a horrible world I wouldn’t wish on anybody, and I would not wish my in-laws or anybody like them (my DIL and her entire family) on an innocent child.
Maybe one day, she will be old enough to start asking questions about her paternal grandparents and when she’s old enough to make her own choices, she will seek us out.
Meantime, I am a grandmother in DNA only.
I won’t be getting grandchildren and I’m quite thrilled about it.
30 years ago I’d have predicted feeling like my Disney fairytale dreams of happily ever after and grandchildren would be dashed. It’s much more complicated in the reality of grown children and actual grandchildren.
One of my kids had two still-little kids with two moms, with another 4 kids with another 3 dads in the picture. The first mom hung herself when she went off her meds a few years ago. The parents are all addicts with mental health problems and criminal records. Sad situation for the kids including my grandkids, neither of whom will ever have a stable home. This year they are play-acting being daddy overdosed with his head hanging off the couch and being an EMT trying to revive him.
Another isn’t sure she wants kids in her mid-30’s. What makes her happy makes me happy. I figure I get more quality grownup time with her the way things are, i.e. no grandkids. And another hasn’t talked to me much since her mom and I divorced 20 years ago, so unless having kids magically makes her want to reconnect, I just wish her and her husband the best with or without kids in their future.
That is REALLY TRULY how I feel. HONESTLY.
At the rate our climate, country and world are going, I’m OK with it.
My Son turns 40 next month and he and his wife decided not to have kids. His Dad just passed and it’s the 1st time him not having kids gave me a twinge. He’s the last one to carry on the their last name. I have a 31 yr old Son (different father) who does have an 8 yr old daughter. She’s my everything and I’m fine with just 1. But if neither wanted kids I might feel a little sad. But then again I’m not sure because I had no idea I’d love being a Grandma this much.
My younger son wants to have a family. I’m hoping that happens for him, he would be an amazing father. His college friends are getting married and he’s grown tired of the dating scene. Time is still well on his side from my perspective but not necessarily his.
It is none of my business. I will be happy if I have any, but it really is none of my business.
Any decisions about whether to have children or not is theirs to make, they’re adults. Frankly, it’s rather silly to ask us, don’t you think?
I don’t have any children let alone grandchildren. How do you think I feel about that?
I’m happy my children don’t want children. It’s a hard job, and expensive.