On Monday she got a promotion and I surprised her with a nice night out. The next day she didnt text me at all, which I found odd, and this in when this guy visited. We had plans for Wednesday, for which she had made the plan and said she wanted to take me out as a treat. Since Tuesday she never mentioned the dinner again, until Wednesday I brought it up asking if its still on. And she cancelled because she didnt feel like it and was tired.
If your girlfriend was taking a visiting guy friend out for dinner and around town, but only told you after the fact the next day- how would you feel? Would you expect to know before?
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My wife wouldn’t do this. She would tell me long before it happened. If she didn’t I would ask her why she felt she couldn’t tell me. We don’t have any jealousy in our relationship and I trust her. It’s not an issue. She has guy friends and I have female friends
A bit suspicious
Yes, but wouldn’t have an issue with it. The fact she hid it from you till the day after is kind of a red flag. Its almost as if she was comparing you both and decided you were better so she told you she went out with him.
I would feel disrespected.
There would be trouble
Super suspicious behavior.
They smashed and now she feels guilty
I would have thought she would tell me beforehand if it was a planned thing. Just because we share a calendar.
If it was spontaneous on that day, nah. I wouldn’t expect her to tell me. That happens with me sometimes. Sometimes I have no plans on a day then end up seeing 2-3 different friends and just get caught up going from one thing to the next.
She’d have plenty of time to go to dinner with him again because she’d be on her own.
My gf left me with our baby and toddler while she went to her ex’s mom’s house to have coffee with her and catch up, which I was a little uncomfortable with, but sure. Found out a year later that she was out of town and her ex was in town watching his mom’s dogs. She didn’t tell me though, I had to be a detective. Needless to say I was furious.
We wouldnt be together anymore.
She didn’t tell you because she knew you wouldn’t like it. It just shows you that she doesn’t trust or respect you.
That’s definitely a “full disclosure before the fact” situation. If she doesn’t tell you about it beforehand, it’s quite reasonable to wonder what she’s hiding, and why.
Same rule applies in both directions. I trust my partner and expect her to trust me, but trust requires honesty. If one of us is deliberately hiding something, the other has a legitimate reason to question their trust.
Since I don’t believe that “men and women can’t be just friends” nonsense, it’d be no big deal. I’d also expect her to accept that I’m gonna keep – strictly platonically – hang out with my female friends who I love and wouldn’t be willing to ditch them if my romantic partner told me to. So it’s all about trust. Do you trust her?
That sounds pretty sus, not going to lie.
That seems pretty fishy.
Oh I’d be pissed and feel like she was hiding something. You tell about that stuff BEFORE. You don’t tell, it’s a big deal and breach of trust
Yeah i’d pretty much prepare for breakup. Her going out with a guy friend is fine but keeping it secret and flaking on plans like that giving little to no explanation… sounds sketchy, when it happened to me thays what i suspected and thats what happened as wel…
Sorry bro. Really hope i’m wrong tho.
I have 2 female friends that I regularly talk to. We always meet up in friend groups and My wife has my phone & computer passwords to verify nothing shady is happening and she always knows when a meetup will include them.
She offers me the same courtesy, but most of her guy friends became good friends with me.
Not telling each other is a red flag.
Ya, she should be your ex now.
I wouldn’t even deal with that BS.
Totally fair to feel off about that. It’s not about controlling who your partner sees – it’s about mutual respect and open communication. The fact that she didn’t mention the dinner until afterward, then canceled plans with you, understandably feels dismissive. If anything ever feels off with who someone is spending time with, it’s okay to do a little research too. Tools like Spokeo can help verify who people really are or what they’re about – just for peace of mind.
Yeah lmao she cheated on you for sure.
Sorry mate
Thats a betrayal whether anything happened or not.
Yeah I would lose trust in her, the fact that she hides stuff doesn’t put her in a good light
I think id have 1 foot out the door from then on
Not telling you is a big red flag. My gf has guy friends and she always tells me before things happen and then tells me in great detail about how the night went. Not because I need to know or am interrogating her, she just loves to tell me about her life and how everything went and I love to hear about it.
Both myself and my partners have always had friends of the opposite gender. It’s never been a a big deal. We generally have some level of communication about what we’re doing and with whom but I wouldn’t consider it a violation of trust if they didn’t say who they were spending time with.
Since she has absolutely no reason to not tell me, as my response would be have fun, the fact that she didn’t tell me would be the issue.
I don’t need anymore details to tell you conclusively that you got cheated on. I bet she was tired after buddy and her got it on
She def had dick in her stomach gang.
Yeah I bet she was too tired. Tired from a late night of getting her cheeks clapped.
How does she know this “visiting guy friend”? High school friend; college friend; ex? Not enough info but on the surface seems sketchy.
Had something like this happen to me. I dumped her.
Hey her stuff together and Dump her.
You got nothing either way.
Don’t let this woman treat you like shit.
Which either way she is
How long have you two been together? You live with each other?
Run away.
I would hope to be informed of it as soon as she knew it was going to happen. Hard not to feel a certain kind of way when she doesn’t tell you until after the fact. I’d feel like she either did something she didn’t want me to know about or didn’t trust me enough to trust her if she was just upfront and honest in the first place.
Very plausible that it was a platonic thing, but she should probably work on her communication skills at the very least. You know her best – however you’re probably feeling now is completely legitimate.
I would not have a gf anymore. I would ghost her and move on and start living like I am single.
She got banged like a screen door in a hurricane.
For the 🛣️🛣️🛣️
Confront her about it and she how she responds. I wouldn’t be surprised if she cheated on you.
She’s not your girlfriend.
They fucked
Yeah, that’s a date if she didn’t tell you lol
She went out with him to see if he was a better choice than you, and decided that he wasn’t. So you’re just a temporary backup option.
That’s shady as hell.
That girl would have some serious explaining to do if I was with her.
I heard about something recently which said honestly vs transparency.
I think she wasn’t transparent with you that this situation is about to happen, which is kind of a red flag for me personally. I wouldn’t have issue with her taking the friend out but I wouldn’t expect transparency ahead of time.
If your girlfriend didn’t tell you about dinner with a guy and going around town, didn’t talk to you at all and then told you after it happened, that was never your girlfriend.
If I’m doing anything that would even remotely my SO jealous or suspicious, I give her a heads up.
Trust and communication are the most important things in a relationship.
Some buddies suggest going out to a strip club for a friend’s birthday? I’m texting her the moment it’s mentioned.
If im going out drinking and may crash on a couch, I’m texting her early.
I’m going out to dinner with another woman, I’m definitely telling her.
She got drunk and smashed him, red flag, move on.
She’s shopping for options at best. She already chose him at worst. She’s for the streets, not the sheets.
You posted in the AskWomen over 30 thread, half told you to consider your trust, you posted in the AskMen, about 99% hours told you she’s cheated.
If I’m a gambling man, and I am, she absolutely cheated on you brother
Interestingly – I saw you posed the same question in ask women 30 group and the responses there are that this is normal. They don’t even address the point of “not telling”
Which is completely different reaction from
This group – so what is actually going on?
Can you clarify if you have trouble with the fact that she didn’t tell you ahead of time OR was she tired ?
I’d probably be hurt bc why can’t we all be friends and you tell me after the fact like bro I could’ve made a new friend
Definitely was not up front with you. She way taking an old friend who is in town around town, I would say fine. Hiding it shows she doesn’t trust how you would react, and telling you after the fact probably because she felt guilty there is so hope here. Talk to her about it, so she won’t do it again.
She wouldn’t be my girl anymore
Sussy Baka frfr ong
Check it while you still can she for the streets
I’d dump her. You know what happened
lol, yeah, dinner.
Not your gf.
She would no longer be my girlfriend.
I don’t really care, I trust her, sure I’d like to know if she got plans or come home late if we live together, but other than that I don’t care.
Unless ofcourse she demands to know these things from me, than equal rights for equal demands.
Cause if I get in trouble for it the same applies to you.
She is disrespecting you and is definitely cheating on you.
Ah, the relationship spiral begins here. I suggest getting off sooner rather than later.