I would hope that my father – racist-ass nazi motherfucker con man convicted pedophile that he was – would look up from hell and feel like shit, knowing that still alive, and I’m a reasonably well-adjusted adult: doing my best to fight the kind of influence he had on the world.
I’d like to think I’m similarly disciplined and caring when anonymous as I am in real life. I once saw a relative’s reddit history by complete accident and it was just her cheering people up and congratulating people in a very charming, low-tech way, it really made me happy. Since then, I always try to make sure I devote time here to do the same.
Don’t think it’d matter. Forget Reddit, my mum could barely get her head around my wife telling me that a cat had got in the house and sending me a picture of a Bagpuss toy as an April Fools joke. Thought the house is full of pink strays.
Nothing Ive posted or commented would surprise anyone in my life. I’m always very open and forthcoming with my opinions and interests, both online and offline
My parents would discover that I am an agnostic atheist in a non-monogamous marriage and more liberal than they ever imagined possible. I keep all of that secret because I don’t want to fight with them and they rarely bring up religion or politics. It’s been 10 years now and, while they may suspect, they’ve never said a word so clearly it works.
My mom would think “oh shit I think I left my keys at the supermarket, I was there to get more equal packets… I don’t use equal anymore since your Dad passed but I like to keep it in case anyone comes over and wants it…. but I don’t really need the keys today, I can just go get them next week when I go to the city to see my friend…I have these shrimp I’m going to take her… they were out on the counter for a few days but I couldn’t smell them so I put them back in the freezer so I think they’ll be OK… she’s going to give me an old knife set she was going to throw out, I told her my knives were pretty old so Ill just take hers so that when these break, I have some…..”
/my mom is kind of a quasi-senile hoarder with a diminished understanding of food spoilage
They’d be shocked by the fact that they are actually NOT great parents and that in the future I don’t want anything to do with them (my father not so much, but my mother, definitely yes)
Well my mother’s dead so she doesn’t get to have an opinion.
My father would be like “what’s a red-it”? If he saw my posts with this username he’d not think much odd about it. My alt though, let’s just say I’d not like him to see that.
I think they’d be largely unsurprised, aside from the realization that I do talk a lot of shit about them in mental health discussions. Don’t think they’d appreciate that tbh, they sure haven’t taken attempts to talk about the past well irl.
Dad: “you really think anyone gives a fuck what you think with all this shit? (As he scrolls through post history without reading with an annoyed scowl).”.
Mom: I saw the one where you were being mean to that man…that’s not the boy I raised…(while busying her hands looking down at her task as she talks).”.
My parents taught me to think and speak for myself and be unconcerned about what others thought and said about me. If they were still alive, I’m fairly certain they wouldn’t care about my posts on this or any other social media platform. As for my own children, they’re adults, they can do whatever they like.
They would not be even remotely surprised. My entire reddit history is just bobs burgers, bunnies, hamsters, clothing, and random posts. Aligns directly with my public personality hahaha
My dad,.I’ve already told him he’s a piece of crap but I’m sure he’s glossed it over in his head and would be shocked. He never takes any accountability.
Oh they’d hate it. Most of it is comments on random things but I also give my opinions about politics and I comment and post on r/homeschoolrecovery about how they basically ruined my life which they wouldn’t appreciate very much
My Dad wouldn’t even read it because he hit his quota for paying attention to me when I was 14 or 15 or so.
Mom (if she were alive) would madly flip through to find the first compromising thing she could, then post it everywhere as evidence of how I am mentally ill, sociopathic, misogynistic, antisocial yadda yadda buzzwords yadda yadda and that’s why she was justified in anything I might have said was bad about my upbringing so there.
Then she would get mad at me and scream about how I abused her by forcing her to have to take all that time and effort to construct her thoughtful feedback because I clearly can’t take care of myself. Then probably disown me a third time. Or fourth, I’ve lost count.
Then she would demand my login to any other websites I frequent so she can ‘check and make sure I’m not backsliding.’ Or she would just hire a Private Investigator to do it. Again.
Well, my dad passed years ago, so he’s probably beyond caring.
My mom would probably be surprised at how liberal I am. She knows I’m a bit left anyway, but I don’t talk to her much about politics, let alone my younger brothers, because things get tense. Other than that, I’m more or less the same person offline as on… maybe a hair more prone to cursing online, but otherwise…
Plus I’m a whole-ass adult over here. I’m 45 years old with kids and a mortgage. I’m not super worried about any potential pearl-clutching.
I am already a huge disappoint to my Mother every day I exist and she wishes I was never born so tbh idgaf what she thinks. My Dad would be entertained because he is a cool dude.
Comments
A good speller.
They’d be impressed by use of proper grammar.
That the devil has possessed me
My dad would be bummed out. Lol. My mom would call me a slut.
They already know I discuss politics and sports.
That I am the same person on or off reddit.
not much as they don’t speak english and have no idea what nerdy crap I’m writing about
Sometimes you write oppositional things on the internet, be careful
They already know I’m an idiot…
That I’m fucked!!
They’re already disappointed so they wouldn’t be surprised.
Psych eval
Slutty
I would hope that my father – racist-ass nazi motherfucker con man convicted pedophile that he was – would look up from hell and feel like shit, knowing that still alive, and I’m a reasonably well-adjusted adult: doing my best to fight the kind of influence he had on the world.
Despite his efforts.
Why did you make a post about rating your cock
attaboy
Politics and porn is an odd combination but OK I guess.
I play a game for points on the internet… Honestly, what else is everyone doing here?
It’s a brand new account so there’s literally nothing to look at.
Let’s not imagine that please
“Damn no wonder I don’t have grandkids”
Probably why the hell I have so many comments, way too much free time.
I’d like to think I’m similarly disciplined and caring when anonymous as I am in real life. I once saw a relative’s reddit history by complete accident and it was just her cheering people up and congratulating people in a very charming, low-tech way, it really made me happy. Since then, I always try to make sure I devote time here to do the same.
Across all accounts? They’d probably cry. My throwaways are my most authentic and honest me.
id be max cooked
They’re not really thinkers
They probably wouldn’t think anything unusual. Then again, I post under my actual name.
Zev
Not any less of me than they do now!
They would say “yep, just what I expected” And think exactly what they already think.
What do you even do during work?
“loveydove05 watches too much reality tv….”
“Yeah. That tracks.”
Nothing
It would confirm their belief that I am very unserious
They would lose interest because they only seem truly interested in what I think or say if it directly impacts them
“Eh, he’s a bit edgier and more ‘talkative’ than we thought but it still makes sense”.
They may double-take at some stuff and the volume of history, as comparatively little as it is, but it’s still me.
Unhinged, hyperfixated and in desperate need of more friends or a partner…
They’ll think the same as I am no different in person than here.
Don’t think it’d matter. Forget Reddit, my mum could barely get her head around my wife telling me that a cat had got in the house and sending me a picture of a Bagpuss toy as an April Fools joke. Thought the house is full of pink strays.
They would wonder how they were brought back to life and be confused as to what the hell Reddit is.
They’d have a few questions, but they probably wouldn’t be concerned. I’m pretty friendly on here
Terrible,terrible things.
That I’m much much nerdier than I let on.
They would be surprised.
Since theyre both dead.
Nothing Ive posted or commented would surprise anyone in my life. I’m always very open and forthcoming with my opinions and interests, both online and offline
An accident
they’d be disappointed and angry
They are trash so who cares
“I mean, we know he loved tv, so this tracks. He really doesn’t have a filter between his brain and mouth….”
I don’t think they would mind much.
“Yep. Sounds about right”
Idk
My mom would be a lot more concerned about my mental health.
Schizophrenic degenerate.
nothing bad honestly
That I’m just me, and it’s pretty wholesome. I love dogs, metal, weed, working out. I cheer people on. And SOMETIMES I’m funny.
Probably the same as they do anyway. I don’t put on any kind of persona for the internet or say anything I wouldn’t say in front of people I know.
My parents would discover that I am an agnostic atheist in a non-monogamous marriage and more liberal than they ever imagined possible. I keep all of that secret because I don’t want to fight with them and they rarely bring up religion or politics. It’s been 10 years now and, while they may suspect, they’ve never said a word so clearly it works.
My mom would think “oh shit I think I left my keys at the supermarket, I was there to get more equal packets… I don’t use equal anymore since your Dad passed but I like to keep it in case anyone comes over and wants it…. but I don’t really need the keys today, I can just go get them next week when I go to the city to see my friend…I have these shrimp I’m going to take her… they were out on the counter for a few days but I couldn’t smell them so I put them back in the freezer so I think they’ll be OK… she’s going to give me an old knife set she was going to throw out, I told her my knives were pretty old so Ill just take hers so that when these break, I have some…..”
/my mom is kind of a quasi-senile hoarder with a diminished understanding of food spoilage
They’d be shocked by the fact that they are actually NOT great parents and that in the future I don’t want anything to do with them (my father not so much, but my mother, definitely yes)
They’d be too busy shouting “I’m alive! After being dead for 40 years I’m alive again!” to worry about my lame-ass posts.
Well my mother’s dead so she doesn’t get to have an opinion.
My father would be like “what’s a red-it”? If he saw my posts with this username he’d not think much odd about it. My alt though, let’s just say I’d not like him to see that.
Call me a “fucking nerd” then ask to play a round of 40K.
“…yeah, that seems about right. “
That I’m a person of my convictions and stand by my values. Also, that DOdGE and the fat orange man can eat a dick.
I showed my father, he felt burned.
(He’s cremated)
“Wow, he really takes his job seriously. And his humor sucks. Definitely needs a bible.”
Not much, neither of them speaks English, and that is most of my post/comment history.
Depends on which account they found 😉
gosh, our son sure likes playing with this “after effects” thing
As lil B said, Based God.
Exactly the same as they do now, I’m vocal & honest, so they wouldn’t be surprised.
I think they’d be largely unsurprised, aside from the realization that I do talk a lot of shit about them in mental health discussions. Don’t think they’d appreciate that tbh, they sure haven’t taken attempts to talk about the past well irl.
They would wish to god they didn’t know this side of me
That I am in fact a closet conservative.
Idgaf. I’m too old to care.
a perv LOL
Meh
Probably – Hmm such a depressing soul…
They can’t be more disappointed than they already are . So I guss they’ll be fine lol
They would just be yep thats flathexagon alright. I don’t hide who I am and what I believe.
would not be even a little tiny bit surprised. my coworkers on the other hand might realize they don’t know me very well.
Nothing would happen lol, we share the same political views
My parents probably would not let me use Reddit in the first place XD
Brick by brick
They might flinch a little at the language but overall be happy I was still being forthright
I am the parent, the grandparent and the great-grandparent.
They’d probably frame my top comment like it’s a diploma.
I wouldn’t know. I’d be halfway to mexico after faking my death
Let’s be honest here. My main is fine, My alt account was stuff when I was 13 or 14 which I am ashamed of a bit.
That is long dead.
Even your parents probably went through it in you AREA. Culture is a thing… so are hormones.
Be real.
Thank the lord he isn’t a liberal
Mostly fine, but then very shocked.
I’m even more of an anxious wreck than they thought
I’m not surprised, although the feet thing is new info.
My parents already think I’m a radical psychopath. I doubt my Reddit would surprise them.
Mom would be proud
“I can’t tell if you love or hate baseball.”
“Seems about right”
Dad: “you really think anyone gives a fuck what you think with all this shit? (As he scrolls through post history without reading with an annoyed scowl).”.
Mom: I saw the one where you were being mean to that man…that’s not the boy I raised…(while busying her hands looking down at her task as she talks).”.
I’d really not like to think about it.
I don’t have a family anymore. So yeah…
My parents taught me to think and speak for myself and be unconcerned about what others thought and said about me. If they were still alive, I’m fairly certain they wouldn’t care about my posts on this or any other social media platform. As for my own children, they’re adults, they can do whatever they like.
shame
I think they would be a little traumatized since I get into the gory details of my relationships and sex life.
My mom at least knows I’m non-monogamous.
My father almost lost it and then pretended nothing happened when I told him I was bi.
But they are not ready to know I go to kinky sex parties
“Possessed by the DEVIL! Been brain washed by living with the YANKS! Witchcraft, Gar-GYLES, BUDDAH FLAGS~!!”
They would not be even remotely surprised. My entire reddit history is just bobs burgers, bunnies, hamsters, clothing, and random posts. Aligns directly with my public personality hahaha
Wouldn’t see a difference.
Same as what they do now, a brainwashed fool who has strayed from the true path with an added helping of trump derangement syndrome
I try to comment and post in social media the way I wouldn’t die from embarrassment if somebody would recognize me so no worries
The same they do now. They don’t care and wouldn’t take time to read it.
I’d be cooked
Damn, I was hoping they wouldn’t be screwed up like me… oh well…
They’d be horrified that I’ve become a grumpy old lady who has trouble keeping her big mouth shut.
I don’t care, we don’t speak. They’d probably just be upset about the trans subreddit’s and quit going through my history after that.
Differently…
My mom is dead.
My dad,.I’ve already told him he’s a piece of crap but I’m sure he’s glossed it over in his head and would be shocked. He never takes any accountability.
My mom would be upset, my dad would be disappointed, but both of them, being the sweet and caring people that they are, would be disgusted.
They would sit in wonder that the current administration hasn’t disappeared me yet for scorching them on the regular.
They raised me. They know me. It’s…me.
Definitely a psychopath
Wow, he hates a lot of things… oh wait, no, he likes some stuff…. nope, hates more…
Oh they’d hate it. Most of it is comments on random things but I also give my opinions about politics and I comment and post on r/homeschoolrecovery about how they basically ruined my life which they wouldn’t appreciate very much
They’ve heard worse out of my mouth.
My parents don’t care enough to want to read my Reddit history.
They won’t…
This kids likes melvor
My mom would be like “Yup. That tracks”
They’d call me a woke liberal zombie
Hello? Um yes I’d like to have my son sectioned into the psychward
My mom would roll her eyes and sigh. Dad would laugh at some posts and shake his head at others. They wouldn’t be surprised or censorious.
One born in 1920 and one in 1923 – so many of the topics would just not interest them.
Nothing much different. I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam
That I’m a degenerate and a liberal.
My Dad wouldn’t even read it because he hit his quota for paying attention to me when I was 14 or 15 or so.
Mom (if she were alive) would madly flip through to find the first compromising thing she could, then post it everywhere as evidence of how I am mentally ill, sociopathic, misogynistic, antisocial yadda yadda buzzwords yadda yadda and that’s why she was justified in anything I might have said was bad about my upbringing so there.
Then she would get mad at me and scream about how I abused her by forcing her to have to take all that time and effort to construct her thoughtful feedback because I clearly can’t take care of myself. Then probably disown me a third time. Or fourth, I’ve lost count.
Then she would demand my login to any other websites I frequent so she can ‘check and make sure I’m not backsliding.’ Or she would just hire a Private Investigator to do it. Again.
“Yup, that’s our girl”
Ok you got time to be on reddit but cant pick up the phone and call me-
Not much cuz they’ve been dead for over a decade.
That, at 76, I’m still listening to music that makes them want to shout, “turn that noise down.”
So… I hope no one ever sees my Reddit history
Lmao. They would probably not helpful surprised at all. Just see a wall of watches and move on.
Probably less.
weirdo and depressed lol
Who cares? I’m all growed up. Besides what other people think of me is none of my business.
Well, my dad passed years ago, so he’s probably beyond caring.
My mom would probably be surprised at how liberal I am. She knows I’m a bit left anyway, but I don’t talk to her much about politics, let alone my younger brothers, because things get tense. Other than that, I’m more or less the same person offline as on… maybe a hair more prone to cursing online, but otherwise…
Plus I’m a whole-ass adult over here. I’m 45 years old with kids and a mortgage. I’m not super worried about any potential pearl-clutching.
I’m alive and well.
They know
I am already a huge disappoint to my Mother every day I exist and she wishes I was never born so tbh idgaf what she thinks. My Dad would be entertained because he is a cool dude.
Nothing more nor less tbh.
That I’m boring 🙁
They wouldn’t understand anything I was talking about. Same as real life.
They’d be somewhat surprised yet not surprised.