If your partner came with you to your doctor appointment (not primary care), what would you like them to do during the appointment? Just stay around you for moral support? Let you speak and only talk when necessary? Start conversations for your issues and lead them? Hold your hand? Something else?
If your partner came with you to your doctor appointment (not primary care), what would you like them to do during the appointment? Just stay around you for moral support? Let you speak and only talk when necessary? Start conversations for your issues and lead them? Hold your hand? Something else?
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Presumably wait in the lobby unless I was nervous about something and needed a hand to hold. Honestly I prefer doing doctors visits solo
I go alone because a) I’ve luckily never had a serious enough issue to want moral support and b) it would mean him taking unpaid time off work while I get so much appointment time.
If I ever did require him to come with me, I would just want a silent hand to hold. But generally, we don’t go to appointments together.
My husband and I go to each other’s doctor’s appointments so that we have a second set of ears. He tends to not listen very well during his appointments, and I tend to unnecessarily catastrophize test results.
This is such a personal thing and would depend so much on why I’m there to begin with, I really think the best path is to ask your partner straight up what they’d like!
Sometimes I want my partner to validate my symptoms / backup what I’m saying, as they are well informed (due to the fact we live together) and unfortunately I find it sometimes helps make doctors take me more seriously.
Other times, I really need a hand to hold & I don’t want somebody else speaking for me. I’ll make it clear what kind of support I need, because it’s not possible for a partner to be a mind reader 100% of the time.
Your best bet is always an open and upfront conversation.
It depends on the appointment. Sometimes I just need him to sit beside me and hold my hand. Other times, I’d appreciate him speaking up when I get overwhelmed or forget things
The only way I would want my husband to come to a medical appointment with me is if I can’t drive myself there or can’t drive myself home. This doesn’t apply if I was to be diagnosed with something serious, like cancer that required chemo, treatments, etc., I can imagine how that might be different. But on the regular, I prefer to go solo, for everything. Even if there might be something serious going on.
I want my husband to just sit there in the room and hold my hand for any procedures. He wants me to do most of the talking and answer questions. I’d say to just ask your partner what they need or feel the vibe.
I am 70 and I’ve never had somebody go with me to a doctor appointment.
I prefer to go solo but if my partner insisted on coming, they better sit back and listen and not interrupt me or the doctor. I would have no problem with them asking questions or for clarification but only after I was done listening and asking my questions.
Ideally my partner would be there to better understand my health concerns, and ask the doctor questions that I may not think to ask.
My husband has been to quite a few of my appointments, since I’ve had some surgeries and needed a driver for my post op appointments.
His MO is to sit back and listen…unless I’m in pain and ask for pain meds and the doctor denies me. In that case, he’ll raise a (restrained, polite, but persistent) stink.
I do the same for him if he encounters a racist provider (as there are still providers who think that black people feel less pain than white people).
My twin brother was with me during my cancer diagnosis and treatment plan appointment. He asked questions (he’s a physician too, and had questions I hadn’t thought of) and took notes.
Sometimes I ask him to come with if I have an appointment with a military doctor. I do most of the talking and when I look at him he just reiterates or confirms what I’ve said. Unfortunately that’s necessary to be taken seriously. At my all women’s dermatology office I go alone and they take great care of me.
Depends on what the issue is. Normally I’m just fine going to the doctor alone, but the dentist is another story. I have always been terrified of the dentist. I had to go recently for an abscessed tooth to get extracted & my husband definitely had to go & hold my hand the whole time.
If it’s not a dire appointment, then he can stay home or sit in the car or lobby. Some people need more support than others. I’m fine doing things on my own, even more stressful ones.
My ex asked me to go gynecologist appts with her…..I figured sit in lobby for support only. But in fact she wanted me to speak with nurse and Dr. it ended up being both support and someone else to listen.
I would really have to say it’s different for every woman as there maybe something’s your concerned about bc age or genuinely worried about. Sometimes this is the best way to get someone involved.
Most women are great with body language and can tell partner to be quiet with just a look.
Strong believer this is 100% the woman’s decision
My partner and I do doctor appointments together to help each other remember everything we wanted to discuss, and also it’s helpful for the doctor to hear someone else’s perspective on their patients actions because significant others notice things that they don’t and can provide valuable input.
If I’ve asked them to be there, I’ll also tell them what type of support i would like to have from them for that specific appointment. The support I want will depend on the appt.
Depends on the appointment, but I would probably want them to pay close attention so they knew what I was talking about when we debriefed in the car on the way home
My partner comes with me to my gyno-related appointments, and we’re starting to sit in on each other’s primary appointments. For gyno, he’s mostly there for comfort. I had a terrible experience with an attempt at getting an IUD in and now i need comfort every time I have any doctor do stuff down there. So he holds my hand, tries to distract me, etc. Once, he also explained to the gyno why I was crying so hard I couldn’t speak after a pap smear
Listen and then ask any questions he has. Certainly not talk over me. There has never really been a discussion but when he has gone I think I ask questions first and then he might? It’s only been for specific things like obstetrician when pregnant, or when I froze my eggs. So they also involved him in some way.
I don’t want my partner accompanying me to any medical appointments in the first place. I’d find that infantilizing, personally.
We go to each others appointments when we need support. I’m more medically knowledgeable, but he knows all my genetic issues and ensures the doctors absolutely follow my genetic issues to a T – ie: NO prescription I have allergies to (over 200 classes), NO contrast in any scans (allergic), and he asks doctors a ton of questions about side effects of new prescriptions I would t have asked. He is super thorough. When I go to his, I can guide his doctors due to previous injuries/illnesses, ask more medically sound questions as well as get details about all available options he doesn’t think to ask. We are often not always able to cover everything so we do our best to cover for each other. He absolutely will not allow me to go to a new doctor alone because they often dismiss my genetic issues when I do. He also gives me my daily injections twice a day because I struggle to give them to myself, and he’s more careful than I am. If we go to ER – we are in the ER with each other the entire time – regardless of what it is. I’ve assisted with his lung punctured by his broken ribs, kept him calm when his lung collapsed. the doctor needed emergency help and there was no one available so I assisted with the procedure – I have ER training so it was no biggie to me – he still thanks me for that to this day. I think it’s all in what you are most comfortable with. I think a partner must respect your boundaries but also be a supportive advocate for your highest most optimal outcomes possible.
It’s very helpful when my adult son lists his concerns/observations (that we have previously discussed together) to the doctor. I get medically gaslit a lot.
I’m an adult
I don’t want anyone with me
My partner came with me when I got surgery and it was a huge help having him there. I get pretty severe hospital anxiety and sometimes can’t think straight, so he’ll gently remind me of questions I forgot to ask, or help me answer if I can’t remember everything. He doesn’t speak for me, but he holds my hand and distracts me and tries to make me laugh. And he holds all my stuff so I don’t worry about leaving it in the hospital lockers. He’s also my medical proxy. It’s just nice to have someone on your team when you’re in a scary place.
Second set of ears, take notes, be supportive if the patient is anxious. I try to remember to ask my husband first if he wants me to be in the exam room with him. I don’t just assume. We pretty much only do this for non-routine appointments or if one of us is having any kind of procedure. We are in our 50’s.
Nothing. Be a chauffeur.
My boyfriend has medical training, but I don’t know if I want him to go to the doctor with me. He does want to go with to my Botox appointment with my neurologist next month, he says it sounds interesting. I’ve never had someone that wanted to go, or cared enough to even care to go, so this could be nice
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