As the title already says, I will die alone. I believe some people are not meant for relationships and I am one of those people. For multiple reasons that I don’t have to go into detail about here, It’s not possible for my singleness and loneliness to change anytime soon (or ever).
My question is how do I accept that and finally move on with my life? I want to be desired so badly. I want to be special to someone out there. How do I just let it go?
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Personally I find that kind of acceptance with friends. If you really want to be accepted and just don’t see yourself being accepted ever, I would say that the first problem is confidence.
Being confident that you are worth acceptance has helped me greatly. That is the hard thing to gain though but I think it might help.
That is, however, not what you were asking. How to accept that and move on? I would say turn to books and get lost in fantasy. I love escaping to a good book and learning from it. A favorite of mine is the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. That book changed my whole mindset about love and solitude and my purpose.
This is a very interesting question, and it is one that philosophers have been grappling with for at least several centuries.
Are you familiar with the existential writers and philosophers Søren Kierkegaard, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, and Simone de Beauvoir (among many others)?
I would humbly recommend you review some of their writings, there are several good discussions online.
What’s weird is I had the same thought and as soon as I accepted it or rather stopped chasing it, I found love.
Cant answer. I understand you must have a good reason but theres no information to draw a conclusion with that would lead someone to a decent answer to give you. I could only give a half baked uninformed shot in the dark answer like,”hang in there! There’s someone for everyone.
Finding love is all about loving yourself first. Whatever makes you think that you’re unlovable, you need to learn to accept it about yourself first.
For me, I’ve struggled with hirsutism since I was a teenager. I also have severe abandonment issues and struggle with seeing myself as lovable or attractive because of my hirsutism. I’m a woman and have never had a relationship because of those issues.
For the longest time, I thought I’d never deserve love. What helped me to see myself differently is thinking like this: If I truly fell in love with someone, would I ever care if they had hirsutism or self worth issues? No, not one single bit. Your appearance or medical conditions (whether they’re mental or physical) don’t define your worthiness of love. You deserve to be loved.
Before you even think about being in a relationship, you first need to heal the relationship you have with yourself. Consider going to therapy if you can. Read books about self worth. It’s a journey that will take time, but in the end you’ll realise that the best kind of love is the one you can give yourself.
Once you stop chasing love from others, you’ll know what true happiness is. You’ll carry yourself with confidence because you know your worth and won’t settle for less than you deserve.
I know you can do it, OP. If you need someone to talk, you can DM me. Don’t give up.
Pay me $50 a month for coaching and I’ll help you through this.
I’m alone. I’ll die alone. It’s a hard one. But really, I’m ok with it
Acknowledge that everyone dies alone, even if you’re surrounded by family and friends, it is a uniquely solo experience unless someone tops themself along with you (which no one should want).
Get a dog or a cat or something else that will adore you unconditionally. Better than nothing if you’re lonely and want to feel special. Being the absolute centre of an animal’s universe can feel pretty special.
Don’t get too angry at well meaning people who try and tell you to love yourself so you can find love, try therapy, stop seeking and you will find, whatever. When you’re in a relationship and have people who you love and who love you it can be hard to imagine that life just isn’t like that for others. It’s hard to see outside your own bubble sometimes and accept that being alone in the world is actually quite common.
Find lots of things that bring you fulfilment and joy outside of love and relationships. Hobbies, games, activities, whatever will make you feel good.
Volunteer with the elderly. They have the best stories and are often lonely too, you might find some peace in yourself by just sharing a small slice of life with them. You might make your greatest friend. Who knows.
Learn to love and accept yourself. Learn to be happy with who you are in your own skin. You might not be perfect, but I can guarantee you mean so much to someone in your life and they wouldn’t be the same without you. It could be a friend, or a family member or members, but you do matter.
Take that thought and know your worth. When you stop wanting and just move forward, that’s when you’ll find whoever or whatever you’re meant to be.