I’m 17 M. I still need a night light to sleep, and if it gets too late, I’m.sceard of leaving my room even if I need to go to the toilet or need to brush my teeth. I don’t know why I’m just scared I’ll encounter a monster or killer. i don’t think about what would happen after that. I only think about encountering it. If I consume scary media, it’s 1000 times worse. i think about not sleeping at all or falling asleep while on my phone. I feel so embarrassed and hate myself because I didn’t grow out of it. It’s only when I’m alone. if I’d with someone, there would be no problem. Also, if I play something in the background, usually podcasts, it’s better, but it still bothers me.
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How did your parents address your fears when you were little?
It’s nervous system dysregulation. I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. There is a safe place, and it’s on the other side of nervous system regulation. Long long exhalations, vagus nerve activating breathing. Check out YT for different breathing techniques to get your system under your own control. We want you starting to trust that YOU can keep you safe and that you don’t need the outside world to never scare you for you not be scared. Then the nervous system will get into parasympathetic response instead of always-on sympathetic (fight, flight, freeze, fawn). You can do this!
Everyone kinda is because humans are just built with that fear in order to survive
Killers exist, and we hear about them all the time. A monster is just a dangerous animal that your imagination has enhanced for whatever reason. You are afraid of real things, which is not at all unreasonable. The issue is that you have difficulty recognizing when you’re safe.
I don’t have much advice, but I do wonder if you do a lot of “doomscrolling.” Keeping the world’s various dangers on your mind can make it difficult to relax. Bad things happen to people, but you hear about murders and animal attacks in the news because they’re not very common. Most people go their whole lives without a break-in, a dangerous animal encounter, or even a physical fight.
Do you check all possible entrances to your home before you go to bed? And have you tried just turning the lights off and diving right into this fear? As much as it sucks, exposure is the best way to overcome a specific fear.