I’m 26 and physically disabled. Four years ago, I met a girl (25F) online while we were both planning to study abroad. We talked every day, and I helped her through her application process. I eventually got admitted to a U.S. university, and before I left, we met in person for the first time and went on a short trip. That was when she saw that I was handicapped, though I never talk about it openly — I hate pity and sympathy.
We had a great time — amusement parks, hiking, games — we truly enjoyed those two days together. After I moved to the U.S., we still talked daily, and even with the time difference, I made time to call her. Over time, I fell in love with her. I imagined a future with her, but I never told her how I felt until I returned home after a year and visited her.
At a temple, I confessed my feelings. She gently said she wasn’t interested in love and wanted to stay friends. I respected that, but deep inside, I was heartbroken. After that, our communication slowly reduced. I once asked her, “Can I wait for you?” and she replied, “If you want, you can wait.” That gave me hope — maybe false hope.
One month later, she moved to the UK for her higher studies. When I called her casually, she suddenly asked me a question I didn’t understand at first. When I asked why she was asking, she said, “Would you accept me even if I had a relationship before you?” I told her yes, because I still loved her.
After that, I asked why she brought it up. She then told me she had gotten into a relationship with another guy, but it didn’t work out. She also said she’s not interested in love anymore and wants to focus on her studies.
We haven’t spoken since. She eventually blocked me and unfollowed me on social media.
Now I’m left with this question:
Should I still wait for her? Or should I try to move on?
I don’t know how to move on. She was my emotional anchor for years. I can’t forget her.
That day, after the conversation ended, I kept thinking… “Was I just an option all along?”
I gave her my time, energy, and emotions – even when I was across the world. I waited, I hoped, I dreamed. But now, I feel like I was always just a backup, not a real priority.
TLDR: Maybe I misunderstood her kindness as something more. Or maybe she just didn’t know how to say no clearly.
Either way, I’m still stuck in the same place – loving someone who doesn’t feel the same.
Any tips or thoughts on how to move forward would mean a lot to me.