To preface this, this is a long distance relationship. We started as friends of friends, but started getting closer earlier this year (~5 months ago) as she was going through a lot of stress with school and family. It continued to the point where it became sexual, and I realized around then that I was getting interested in her as more than friends. It’s been a while since that realization, I have told her about my feelings, and I’ve asked her how she felt about me, and she said she’s just not sure.
According to her she’s always had trouble telling when she’s into someone. I’ve already told her before that she’s not really in a place to have a relationship, so that wasn’t my goal, I just wanted to get an idea for the future. I was also hesitant about pressuring her into something, and the gap in age and earnings. I don’t want this to be something she does because she feels like she has to.
The thing is, we do so much together. We play games together, stay up late talking, have sleep calls, hell we even stay together during work and chores. And on top of that she’s asked me to move in with her as well, and she talks all the time about getting a house together one day, or moving to Spain to live together. She says she wants my attention every day. And when I did draw a line at more intimate acts, she was upset about it, despite agreeing.
I just feel a bit lost. It doesn’t feel platonic, but there isn’t a defined term for it. I mean I guess thats what a situationship is. Should I just move on? Or should I stay for a bit longer and hope she figures her shit out? If I do move on, how do I deescalate from whatever we have to something strictly platonic?
Tl;Dr I’m in a situationship that I don’t want to be a situationship anymore.
Comments
Give her the ultimatum
You are obviously interested in her and she gives mixed signals. Since you already had that talk before, you should just tell her that you need to define what’s going on or you’ll just assume it’s platonic and move on.