As the title says, I’m nearing 30 and I’m still single. I’ve had two long-term relationships, one in my late teens/early 20’s, and one in my mid-twenties that ended a little over a year and a half ago. They both didn’t work out for various reasons/incompatibilities.
I feel like I’m running out of time. I’m really not sure. I have some hope in knowing that trends have shifted a little bit and more people are finding LTR’s a bit later in life. I also personally know a few people that got married in mid 30’s and beyond and started families. Plus, I know a lot of people that are my age or older that are still single, both men and women.
I can’t tell if it’s getting too late for me. If it is too late for me, what do I do with my life? I don’t really see what the point of existence would be at that point.
My only backup plan is to take care of dogs until I’m too old. I’ve always loved dogs. If I don’t find a partner, at least I could make my life have some meaning beyond myself and take care of a dog.
I don’t know. I’m trying not to dwell on it too much. I’m trying to focus on career, fitness, self-development, hobbies, etc.
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Hey I just turned 29 and became single recently! I know it’s easier said than done but life has no specific time line! In my opinion I feel like I’m just starting my life honestly and excited for what the future brings. I too am focusing on myself. If you feel like it’s right timing, try dating casually and see if something sparks from that. Don’t force anything and really just do things you want to do and enjoy your own company in the mean time ! Good luck out there, you got this. You will make a great partner one day. We are still young!
Why not just give up on your dreams to marry and have kids? I have pretty much given up on this dream of mine after my ex-bf of many years had dumped me mercilessly without looking back. And then every men whom I had encountered ever since had only wanted me for sex but not for anything serious. I don’t think I need any man in my life now. I just want all of them to get lost from my life.
Bro, nobody’s timing your life except you. Marriage and kids aren’t the only scoreboard. Keep investing in yourself, career, hobbies, fitness and the rest can come or not. Dogs are legit backup, unconditional love with zero drama. If you find a partner, great. If not, you’ll still have a solid life. Chill on the “running out of time” narrative, it’s a trap.
Flip your thought. There is an equal amount of people who focused on finding someone to build a life with and had it blow up in their face. What if you found someone, got married, had kids and it didn’t work out. The divorce was messy. Custody battles. And that would still impact you and your kids who have no control over any of it.
Focus on yourself. Think about yourself and what you want. Think about your goals. Keep true to it and you’ll find someone. If not…well what’s better? Living your life to your standards and how you want or settling for someone who makes you miserable and then your kids suffering as a byproduct?
Patience is key. And even if you dont find a suitable partner and have kids….well atleast you didn’t bring life into the world and subject em to a fracture home and competing parental interests
lift weights and work more hours on your job or on a project
If it’s marriage and family you want, just have a think practically how you can go about meeting people.
This may not be for you, but my over analysing self did reflect on how dating usually goes in the world and what I’d do differently.
Personally I would approach it very differently now. The way I figured I would approach it, if I decided to get back out there is to just socialise and spend time with different people to get to know them. No exclusivity until it looked like I had found someone I was heading towards serious commitment/engagement with. And I would not make that decision until I knew what their character was like under pressure, met their family and was confident I could share the same life mission with them. Then I would be exclusive and engage to that person where I’d let more of the warm and fuzzy feelings blossom and plan a marriage.
Just my two cents. I definitely understand the innate desire to be married and have a family. All the best of luck to you. I hope you find your person soon.
Working on loving yourself. I don’t say to ignore everyone else but as men our self esteem should diligently protected. As you know already the world doesn’t care about our wellbeing so we have to care for ourselves. You don’t want to shop in the dating market while desperate.After all, women want a man who loves himself.
Would it be fair to say that in some ways you’ve put your life on hold waiting to find the right person so life can begin? If so, it sounds like you should spend some time thinking about what brings you fulfillment. Becoming deeply involved in your community, developing immersive hobbies, becoming a lifelong learner, establishing a goal of financial freedom to travel or volunteer full time, becoming connected to a faith community, etc. One or more or all could become part of the story of who you are and how you find meaning. The hard work is figuring out what’s authentically meaningful for you. Along the way you might meet someone but your life and finding meaning shouldn’t rely on another person showing up.
You are still young and entering the best years of your life! In no way are you too old to find a relationship. Keep doing what you’re doing with your career, hobbies etc. and look forward to what’s to come!