I’m a 28 year old woman now working on a mechanical engineering PhD. Why did my mother scream at me a decade ago after finding out that I was going to study engineering?

r/

She screamed at me, went on about “why would anyone want to do that?” over and over again, and tried multiple times trying to convince me to change my major. Even when I only had a year left in my BS program and was on track to graduate with honors, she still tried to convince me to switch out of engineering.

She took a physics class once, hated it, and projected her dislike of physics on me. If she didn’t like physics, then she assumed that I also didn’t like physics for some reason.

She isn’t a curious person. Her hobbies are getting plastic surgeries, obsessively dieting to stay skinny, and buying designer shit to show off to other housewives in her neighborhood. She also tried to wh*re out her kids by putting them in child beauty pageants. Curiosity and learning were not values that she ever tried to instill in us growing up. She raised us to value our self worth based on our beauty.

Comments

  1. Snoo-11861 Avatar

    Your guys’ values are just different. She’s status driven. She might also insecure about you being wicked smart. 

  2. Sense-Affectionate Avatar

    Don’t hold it against her. She had a different life and you don’t know what damage was done. Conditioned that beauty is everything probably. My Mom was all about the looks. Took years for us to find common ground and then she became my best friend. Good to see you were true to yourself.

  3. ACoconutInLondon Avatar

    My initial thought was that she thought it would make it harder for you to find a husband.

    I believe that even more so after you described her values.

    Though I’m kind of surprised she just didn’t tell you her reasons? Or more like screamed them at you.

  4. margery-meanwell Avatar

    Sounds like she finds self-worth in different things than you do. Find your own way and do what works for you.

  5. SilverConversation19 Avatar

    I am a disappointment to my mother because we got my aptitudes tested at some fancy place in Boston and I was told I could be a good lawyer. I didn’t go to law school. I have a PhD in information science. The test also said I’d be a good college professor, but it isn’t a ✨✨✨lawyer✨✨✨ I say all this to say moms are weird and will do weird shit sometimes. Kick ass in your PhD! I’m sorry this is such a hard time to be in school.

  6. mochi_chan Avatar

    While my mom is not as shallow as yours, I still remember her disappointment in me one day when I was in my early 20s and she told me “So, you are a nerd” she was not happy at all that I did not turn out to be the beauty and brand obsessed girl who wanted nothing more than a rich husband.

    Good luck on your mechanical engineering PhD. My sibling (AFAB) studied Mechanical Engineering for their BA and it seemed somewhat difficult but fun.

  7. TricksyGoose Avatar

    I’m sorry your mom wasn’t supportive, that sucks. But that’s awesome that you’re kicking ass at engineering! Hell yeah girl!

  8. Upvotespoodles Avatar

    It might be difficult for her to see you excel in a subject that she failed.

  9. committedlikethepig Avatar

    >She isn’t a curious person. Her hobbies are getting plastic surgeries, obsessively dieting to stay skinny, and buying designer shit to show off to other housewives in her neighborhood. She also tried to wh*re out her kids by putting them in child beauty pageants. Curiosity and learning were not values that she ever tried to instill in us growing up. She raised us to value our self worth based on our beauty.

    And you honestly wonder why she yelled at you?? It’s all right there in that paragraph.

  10. TheFunInDisfunction Avatar

    I don’t have kids, but I would be so proud to have a daughter with an engineering doctorate.

  11. amok_amok_amok Avatar