Im 26, ND and have ongoing issues with depression and PMDD. right now I am working as my gmas full time caregiver. I just feel so deoressed. I have actually been looking into enrolling in my local community college for an associate degree radiology tech program. I felt like things were actually looking up..
I got my highschool transcript just to see what my gpa is because I didnt remember exactly what it was. (Been out of school for 8 years)
I was shocked to see my gpa was a 2.8. I feel like I remember being a good hardworking student? Ive always considered myself pretty intelligent. But I have always struggled with my mental health and that affects my productivity, I guess more than I realized.. I know I always tried my best and I thought I got good grades..but I guess I was wrong about myself.. Really thinking back on it, Im pretty sure I disassociated most of my highschool years. I have zero memories that come up. I dont remember any of the classes I took. I think I was just floating through and I didnt even realize it..
I was living with my extremely abusive parents and I was also trapped in a cult and that was horrific..that made it very hard to give my all academically.. idk it’s a very weird feeling. I feel like I thought I did good, I remember doing good. But I guess they were false memories.. I fooled myself into thinking I had intelligence. but really I am a failure. And now I doubt the community college will even take me. I dont even feel like Im smart enough for college anymore.I would probably just fail..I dont know how to fix my life. I wish I could just crawl in a hole and die and I dont know what to do.
No I cant afford therapy.
Comments
You don’t know if you don’t try. You should try. The worst that they can say is no thank you. But probably they will say sure and be happy to take your money.
It sounds like this could be a new start for you.
It sounds like you have made a lot of progress on your mental health but also it sounds like you are still struggling a lot. I understand that you cannot afford therapy right now. What if you found a job that had insurance so that you can do therapy while you have the insurance? I think that this should be your long-term goal. Then when you do not need the therapy anymore you can drop the insurance to save money.
Aside from that, you can visit your local library and see what mental health books they have. Just take a look and pick up whatever speaks to you.
You’re not a failure, that’s just the abusive programs talking. Don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself grace and love. Be a friend to yourself
Get better sleep.
What if you consider that your worth doesn’t depend on any of these things? Try looking up successful or famous people who failed high school. I haven’t looked it up yet but I’m sure there are many well known people who got horrible grades and they made it big in life. Don’t let a gpa define you. You don’t have to have good grades to find fulfillment in life or be successful.
i was in the same predicament, grandmothers caregiver, MDD, enrolling for rad tech. I had a 4.0 and made the deans list my first college semester so i feel way worse that i’ve declined so much I’m 23 now and feel like a complete waste of space and failure but I’ve been telling myself to shut the fuck up and stop being such a self pitying pussy and be the mf who deserves the better life because i worked for it and not just complained and made excuses for myself. It’s working so far i guess idk how long it’ll last hopefully forever, then again idk might write a suicide note in 4 hours that’s just how life be. Try getting out of the house, being a caregiver you don’t realize how much of the unfortunate and uncontrollable negativity you’re sulking in 24/7. Get outside, get some sun, replenish the vitamins your body is lacking
Enroll at the college. I felt the same way about high school re: my grades. I always thought I did well, but my gpa was low. After attending college, my gpa was very close to 4.0; I was so proud!! So what if I was in my 40’s at the time. I loved going back to school. Go for it!!
You are not a failure. The depression is making you feel that way. I had a 2.4 GPA and I managed to do great through college. It takes time but you’ll regret it even more if you dont try it. Im 28 and I just finishing my associates. 1 class at a time no rush as long as you get where you want to
College will do one thing for your future: put you into debt. Finances are my main source of depression – how about you?
You’re not a failure.
We all get handed a different hand of cards , and you’ve been delt a hard one.
You will not know if you don’t try, so please try. It’s never too late for anything. 26 is still young.
Your past doesn’t define you, your courage to start college shows strength and growth.
Wait until you’re 28
You should try of course, but take it from me. I’m 38 and still work in retail with a family and three kids. You get out of life what you take from it. College isn’t a measure of your failure or success. Honestly the majority of “successful” people are more miserable than you can imagine. Just don’t give up on yourself and never stop trying. You’ll land on your feet every time as long as you give it your best.
I had it tough. I found myself homeless in a foreign country at 26. But, that bottom added something to my character, added depth. I’ve had some luck since. Do your best not to listen to the nagging voice of self hate. Abuse tires to steal the good moments, victories. Keep going. Many of us like an underdog. Good luck my struggling comrade.
You’re not a failure. At all. Never say this.
Look into apprenticeships. Plenty that will take someone with a 2.8 GPA. I regret doing a degree, and apprenticeships are more hands on, less studying for exams. You’re not a failure at all, I know people who didn’t even graduate high school who got into apprenticeships, now being paid and going to get a degree out of it. You’re so young, well done for making it to 26 too!