I (19F) used to be bi but now identify as lesbian and I definitely love girls. A few days ago I started dating this really sweet girl I met online. We’ve only been together for a few days, but she’s already talking about marriage and a future together. She asked me to send me a picture of what ring I want for when we get married. She’s so kind, loving, and honestly deserves someone who’s 100% into her.
The problem is… I don’t know if I’m fully attracted to her. Some days I feel it, and some days I don’t. I keep going back and forth, and it makes me feel guilty. The idea of breaking up with her breaks my heart because I know it would crush her.
At the same time, I think I might actually have feelings for one of my guy friends. Which really confuses me, because I’ve always thought of myself as a lesbian. But the attraction I feel toward him feels real, and I feel chemistry between us.
So now I’m torn: do I keep trying with my girlfriend and hope my feelings get stronger, or do I end things before it goes further and risks hurting her even more? And what does this mean for how I identify?
Any advice from people who’ve been through something similar would mean a lot.
Comments
Unsure if this is a troll or not but it doesn’t sound like you ever stopped being bi. And you should not be with a partner you’re not 100% sure about
You’ve only been dating “a few days.” You should not be making life decisions or feeling stuck. Spend some time with your male friend, and see how you feel about him.
It’s only been a few days with this woman. If you’re not feeling it you should end things with her. Then you’re free to explore your feelings for your male friend. Also just to say you don’t have to put a sexuality label on yourself, we’re all different!
Never hope your feelings will get stronger. They won’t. Then you’ll resent her and ruin your life. And you’ll have to start from scratch, wasting your years.
*I’m a bisexual with a girlfriend but I think I like my guy friend
There, fixed it for you.