I’m 23 now but I dropped out of high school due to mental health issues. I eventually did get a job that I had for a few years but eventually quit. Then covid happened and staying at home didn’t eventually help.
I started to get my GED and I didn’t really work on it so I eventually stopped and put all my time onto work.
Things didn’t work out and I moved back in with my parents. During that time I was looking for new jobs but didn’t get a call back or anything and that didn’t help my self-esteem.
I did go back to work on my GED and I was going pretty good at it but stopped after I had a mental breakdown. A few weeks ago they asked if I was coming back in because they keep in touch and ask how it’s going.
I replied that I was going through a midlife crisis and they asked how they could help. I didn’t reply after that and haven’t talk to them since
My dad died not that long ago and that didn’t make things better so now it’s just me and my mom. So as of right now I still don’t have a job.
I help around the house and run errands if some need to be done. But I still feel like a complete disappointment and I feel like that to my family and friends.
Now I just feel completely numb and don’t care. I spend most of my time getting really high or drunk while playing video games and watch a lot of porn.
I really don’t care what happens to me and I really want it all to end.
Comments
Join the military and don’t quit. Sounds like you need a purpose, mission, direction and guidance. Air Force! Space Force? Navy? Check it out! You’re still young.
The problem is getting high and drunk all the time with no job or anything to work for will just make you more depressed and sink lower. The more you procrastinate and delay getting help or getting better the deeper you’ll sink into the hole.
I’ve been like that before and it’s super easy to feel bad for yourself and blame stuff for your current state of mind. I used to blame god, my trauma, childhood, dad, etc.
The thing is though ultimately you are in control of your own life and happiness.
As someone who’s kinda been in your situation, I would recommend going to AA.
I bet you’re not factoring in or realizing how massive of a part of this is alcohol. I didn’t. Alcohol is a depressant and addictive. If you try to white knuckle it you’ll probably fail.
I would say go to AA first and foremost. Because then you’ll have
1: social group (people to talk to)
2: possibly get inspired to quit drinking
3: something to look forward to and to make you leave your room
Just my two cents buddy. I never realized what a huge drunk I was until I stopped. A lot of people blame their mental health when really they’re just sauced 24/7. Alcohol is a depressant it will make you even sadder when your already sad
Why don’t you get a blue-collar job. They are always hiring the pay, which starts low most times, but it’s a career that’ll give you skills and a new perspective on everything. It also could end up making you very well off if you stick with it. The more you get experience, the better you will be, so the earlier you start, the better. Also, just say you have a diploma or GED. NO one will ever check that in your life it’s literally what half of them do. If you feel like your just wasting away then do this at least so you can start looking ahead and get the thing you need and want.
Why don’t you get a blue-collar job. They are always hiring the pay, which starts low most times, but it’s a career that’ll give you skills and a new perspective on everything. It also could end up making you very well off if you stick with it. The more you get experience, the better you will be, so the earlier you start, the better. Also, just say you have a diploma or GED. NO one will ever check that in your life it’s literally what half of them do. If you feel like your just wasting away then do this at least so you can start looking ahead and get the thing you need and want.
Why don’t you get a blue-collar job. They are always hiring the pay, which starts low most times, but it’s a career that’ll give you skills and a new perspective on everything. It also could end up making you very well off if you stick with it. The more you get experience, the better you will be, so the earlier you start, the better. Also, just say you have a diploma or GED. NO one will ever check that in your life it’s literally what half of them do. If you feel like your just wasting away then do this at least so you can start looking ahead and get the thing you need and want.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re only 23. When you’re 43 you’d give anything to be 23 again, so embrace the now and leave the past behind. I highly recommending finding some sort of job as routine is very healthy for our mindset and wellbeing. Perhaps look into fitness as well, the gym or even going outside for walks or cycling will do wonders for your physical and mental health, it’s a win-win scenario. Eating well also helps, even if it’s small steps like instead of buying a donut for a snack, choose a sandwich instead – just small steps can lead into healthy routines and habits. Don’t be so hard on yourself, I’ve been there before, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Also in regards to getting high/drunk and watching porn- I promise you that they will do way more harm than good (once again speaking from experience) there’s are short and temporary hits of dopamine that don’t last and are very unhealthy for re-wiring your brain in patterns that you don’t want to have fashioned into you. Porn is probably the worst one and while your frontal lobe is still developing, try not to alter that with planting these bad things in there. Porn being “healthy” is a huge lie of society, just because it’s common, doesn’t mean that it’s normal or healthy, it destroys young people’s brains and perspectives on things. I would encourage you do be social as well, go out for lunch with some old mates or join a chess club or a recreational sports team or contact your local church to see if they have any young adults groups. Just whatever you’re into, find someone else that’s into that and you can connect that way. Make sure you get around good people that you want to be like, who can encourage you and point you on the right path. A quote I love is “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”. Who you hang around is key. I genuinely wish you all the best and pray that you see the value that’s inside of you and that you would fulfil your calling, whatever that may be, to the absolute fullest capacity that you would have no regrets and that you’d learn from all of your mistakes and even if you fall down, you’d always fall forward (meaning there still progress in falling forward) and that you’d get back up every time you trip over and your experiences, good and bad, will mould you into the person you’re destined to be. You’re here for a reason and a purpose, never doubt yourself and don’t believe any lie saying that you’re of no or little value, you are of great value. Also, it’s a blessing to be able to spend time with your mum, embrace the moments and memories you’re making with her and I’m sure you’ll repay her in the future with your successes. God bless you
Take ur time. I’m 28m, got divorced, have a lot of debt, and I’m back in with my parents to. I know that feeling ur talking about. Sometimes I still struggle with everything.
Don’t “should” all over urself, and be nicer to urself. One step at a time and the GED is a good start. (I still don’t have mine either) could also help get u back to work.
U’ll get there man
You’re 23, and you’re saying you’re a loser? You have so much life ahead of you. it’s wild. I lost my mom and grandma and was homeless because of it at that age, im now 27 and own my own house. you’re not a loser. Your head space just isn’t positive. You have so much time to do anything you wanna do in life.
23, your fine dude. One day at a time
How do you buy weed and alcohol?
If it’s a healthy and happy environment, enjoy it and be proud to be able to cherish your mother
I kinda second the comment about sobriety. I’m far from doing well right now, but any time I get sober I notice a difference in my will to put effort into my own life. It just forces me to sit with the discomfort until I have literally not choice but just do the thing over and over even if I’m not totally sure what I’m doing overall.
Possible that this won’t feel like it means much cause I’ve been told this before and still felt crappy, but 23 is really young. Every time I’ve gotten to really know someone in their 20s/early 30s that I looked up to because they seemed to have their shit together, I end up realizing they have no fucking idea what they’re doing and constantly fuck up hugely in private, but it doesn’t mean they haven’t been able to slowly carve parts of a life they enjoy.
Losing your dad isn’t something minor either. My best friend lost his mom last year and it sent him into a depressive spiral that mimics yours a lot, and mind you, he’s in his 30s. Sounds like you were already down and didn’t have much else to hold onto when he passed, so no wonder you’re having such a hard time finding a path that feels right for you