At first, I’m from France. In Novemeber and January, i attempt to finish my life.
Context : I’m from a big family of Twelve children (thats a recomposed family), after is divorce with my dad, my mom start to be strange with the four of us. After she finds love with a man taht I fast considering like my dad. But somethings was off….
On day when my mom left the eight of us with him (he have had 4 children before dating my mom), I refused to eat…. That was a big mistake… He grab my neck really hard for 5-6 minutes long and yelling at me like i’m just a things…
I never told my mom but, why did I ever do that…Because she was not good at all too…
All my life I tried, I tried to convence me that she loves me… But one day.. I understoud that will never happend.. My brother and I have a fight and he said that nobody love me in the family, so I look at my mom and.. She look at me with those eyes… A sorry look like what he said was the truth….
I hold my feelings for a very long time…. But in November that was enough… my friends saved me.. so i tried to be happy.. but nothing works… so in January I did my last attempt. AND my friends saved me again…
They make me promised to never try to kill myself again, so I decide to died legally. But i don’t found a way yet… Maybye Euthanasia in Swiss ? But I don’t know if it legal.
But I’ll be honest, if I have no choice, I will do it again and not bothering anyone anymore…