This is a reupload, but of my own story. I just kind of need some advice, harsh or nice, I am not the victim of the story and I am well aware that I’ve made a mistake that isn’t okay.
I’m a reptile owner of many, I’ve literally never rehomed any of my reptiles and have always rescued my reptiles from neglectful situations. I’ve always fed them, housed them, and ensured what time I had with them was pleasant.
Recently I’ve been noticing I wasn’t cut out for one of my rescues. I rescued him from someone else literally off of facebook marketplace, [I felt so bad for him,] and tried to give him a good life. He was an extremely flighty gecko, a look don’t touch. I couldn’t clean his cage or even put food within his cage bc of how flighty he was, and it made keeping him healthy and his space clean hard. Extremely difficult. And that’s not his fault at all. He had a spacious enclosure with lots of hiding spots to keep cover from the naked eye, which I thought would alleviate his stress. But regardless it didn’t, and I’m sure that’s due to his previous owner/s.
Recently we’ve been having some wonderfully hot weather so I made an irrational decision to let him loose. No one wanted him when I tried to humanely rehome him and it was growing bad for him and I. He genuinely seemed so much more relieved once out of his enclosure in my yard.
But now he stays in this one tree outside my house. Literally, I go check on him every day. He seems to be doing well, still flighty and does not want to be touched or caught. He’s bright colors, often like I’d see when he was relaxed hanging out in his enclosure, or when he was enjoying high temps.
Idk. I know this isn’t humane and I’d NEVER make this choice again..it’s so cruel and I hate myself for it, but at the same time he is genuinely thriving without living in that enclosure, and I see him daily even though people don’t know about it.
I just wanted to confess this to someone else to read lol. I haven’t told anyone. I feel horrid. I would never make this choice again even with the hardest reptile. I just thought it was the best choice, and idk what I was thinking. I miss him a lot. He’s not dead, and is doing well where he is, but I still feel immense dread and guilt.
I’m reuploading this merely because I just want people to read it, share an experience, share advice, whatever it provokes other people to do. Because it’s genuinely bothering me that I made this choice but I felt it was for the better. He seems so much happier and I just feel guilt because it’s traditionally extremely inhumane to do this.
Comments
I had a gecko like that, impossible to manage. I get why you let him go. It was a mistake, but you know that. Don’t repeat it. Move on.
From the way you’ve explained it…it seems lil guy is doing better. I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. Reptiles aren’t dogs or cats, they don’t feel abandoned. I had a tortoise as a child and it broke my heart seeing him bump into his glass terrarium every day (he also didn’t seem happy) however he was rehomed to an old lady due to my living situation. (We are farmers) and therefore look at life a little different sometimes. The decision you made was out of the best interest for him. And personally based on what you’ve explained it seems like it was the best one for him.