My (40f) husband (45m) and I have been married almost 20 years but my husband’s drinking habits have been an issue the last 5 years. It used to be that he would drink if we went out to dinner, during holidays, or social events. He didn’t really drink at home. His drinking picked up at home during the Covid shutdown. It’s not that he’s a mean or violent drunk, he’s just annoying. I feel like I can’t connect with him when he’s drinking, we can’t have a conversation, and he’s pretty much into his phone the remainder of that night.Aside from that, I know that drinking isn’t good for him, especially how often he drinks.
I only drink during social events or holidays. It’s just never been something l’ve been into or have done regularly. I’ve tried talking to him about his drinking multiple, multiple times and he gets defensive and says it’s because I don’t drink.
A few years ago, he promised to keep it to a 12 pack a week. At some point that got bumped up to a 15 pack a week. We go out to eat 1-2 times per week and he will have 2-3 beers at dinner each time. So he consumes at minimum 15 beers a week, but if you include his beers when we go out, it can be between 17-21. He consumes his beers over a 3 day period which includes his weekend.
I’ve been suspicious a few times that he was buying more than a 15 pack at the store every week and hiding it i me. I asked him yesterday how much he bought and he told me a 15 pack.
Tonight, I counted that he had 15 beers in the fridge, but there were 5 cans in the trash. I asked him again how much did he buy, and he confessed that he bought two 12 packs. I told him again, that he has a drinking problem, and he, again, told me it’s because I don’t drink.
TLDR: my husband drinks 15-18 beers every week over a 3 day period. I’ve asked him to cut back and be becomes defensive.