Blackp!ll is seriously getting out of hand. Or am I the problem??
So. I have met a guy online. We had great conversations, he was funny, great personality and ngl he had the looks too. We texted for weeks. Very intimate and deep convos too. Until someday he was making weird comments like “i usually don’t like women but ur different”. I know, i know. Red flag. But dumb me thought ‘ouh I’m special yay’ and agreed to meet him. Btw this wasn’t the only weird comment he made but we’ll get to that.
We met. He was shy, totally different than online.
Second sign. But oh well. I carried the whole conversation. Made plans where to go. I was annoyed but thought l’d give him a chnace cuz maybe he was just shy idk. He kinda started to open up to me, we got food, he was sweet and kind. Until he got weird. I guess he was getting really comfortable or something because suddenly he started making comments about my appearance. Weird comments. He compliments my oh so tiny waist (bruh) and some inappropriate stuff about my figure which made me uncomfy and I told him but the weirdest shit comes out of nowhere: he asks me to humiliate him, asks if he can see my feet and all that. Bro l immediately said no and got a weird feeling and said that this isn’t gonna work. He then held my hand, grabbed me close said something like he was black pilled, and incel and no girl ever wanted to do anything with him. NO SHIT BRO. I was scared as hell. When we left (the date was 7 hours mind you) he sent me so many texts asking if we could be together and I said no this isn’t gonna work, l’d be there to support him but not in a relationship kinda way.
He crashed out. Called me. I didn’t pick up. Said he’d show up (luckily he didn’t know where i live) blah blah.
I blocked him and he made another account telling me he’d off himself. Bro I feel so bad. And now he says it’s all because he doesn’t look perfect. Like no that’s not the thing dude. What do I do? I don’t want to be with him but I also don’t want him to think it’s because of his looks it’s because he openly says he hates women and has a bp personality. This is not the first time I’ve met a self proclaimed incel. Why are they attracted to me? Why always me? Is it my fault? I’m so sick of dating ngl
Comments
That wasn’t your fault it was a creep showing his true self. Trust your gut next time not your soft heart.
its not you, every other dude I talk to online is exactly like this….. they seem normal for like 1 day… or a few h. or a few weeks. depends on the guy. then they start insulting me out of nowhere, negging, passive aggressive, self sabotaging it basically. incel comments and so on. alternating hot and cold, compliments with insults all that jazz. they become abusive. naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah blocked. i see why nobody wants them
edit: i think they were pretty basic and insecure by default and then they dwelve into porn addictions, misogyny/incel content online and it takes that to 100. they’re gone. it is what it is
Yeah that wasn’t your fault. It’s easy to lie in text. Baby boy doesn’t know how to person and it’s not your job to teach him. His feelings aren’t your problem and you don’t owe him anything. This isn’t a safe person to keep in your life. It’s not your job to show him women don’t suck, he does. Just walk away and leave this child to his toys.
He can make up whatever reasons he wants to, as to why you’re not with him. That’s not your problem or your concern.
When it comes to online dating, anyone I’m interested in, I meet within a week of connection because it’s easy to hide in texts, and you build up an image of someone in your mind that’s usually not reality and it’s disappointing.
Things to look out for in the future:
If you’re the one always initiating conversation and having to plan and do everything to push things forward, just dip. Walk away. Let people show you who they are and when it’s not what you want, chin up and walk away. I chased a lot of people and tried real hard to be someone I wasn’t for way too long. Just walk away when someone’s not matching your energy.
Also, when you get a weird feeling – leave the date. Don’t spent 7 hours with someone who’s making you uncomfortable.