Last year, I was romantically interested in someone and suffice it to say it didn’t work out. Before I accepted the fact that it wasn’t going to work out, I put in so much thought and effort into the relationship. I even learned how to sew (for the relationship) for reasons that will not be explained. Now, I am angry at myself for putting in so much effort into someone who I don’t think ever really cared about me. I’m angry at myself for allowing myself to become emotionally invested, which I know isn’t right. I guess, in sum, how do you forgive yourself for a mistake like that? How do you find the strength to try again?
I’m angry at myself for putting in too much effort into someone.
r/Advice
Comments
You learned a new skill and a valuable lesson. Not a complete loss, i think you’re being to hard on yourself
You call it a lesson and move on with life. You also don’t make the same mistake again. pay attention to the signs of someone who doesn’t care about you and leave immediately when you feel unappreciated…
Don’t ever be angry for putting in effort especially too much effort into someone. But, make sure that someone is you.
When you treat yourself in the same way you treated the person you loved at the height of that love, every day, consistently, and with compassion and kindness you will feel healed.
Discover that same capacity for love that you now know you can be filled with, and gift it to yourself because you deserve love, and you deserve a best friend who cares for you and won’t watch you go down a dark path. You deserve someone who won’t tolerate self destruction, unkind self-talk, and unnecessary risks.
You deserve to hear yourself speak beautiful words every day. You deserve to be gifted rest when you need it, and play when you need it… you deserve it all.
So, don’t let yourself stay stuck in a ditch that was supposed to be filled with the kindness and care that they lacked for you. Start filling that hole you’re in, up with love, yourself. And one day, it will be full, and you can calmly and gracefully pull yourself out of it with love for your next chance— basking in the opportunities out there, in the world.
You’ll get through this my little brother, and once you know how to love yourself, you’ll know what to see and expect from others.